Life will never be the same again - my way to accepting a new life paradigm after pandemic

in #blog3 years ago

Hi, guys!

Yesterday I discovered some insights provoked by talking with my illustration curator, and I really want to share my thoughts with you, cause it seems to me that it can be helpful:)

My illustration guru lived in Berlin, and she's a super productive and organized person. I never saw anyone like her, she really always has a plan, and a great will life. She always was my example. I thought that this woman never gets out of her schedule.

But yesterday I found out that for past three months she was really depressed, so deep that she had to use help of a specialist to get out of that black hole. Lockdown in Germany was the reason. I really felt like that when she said "Why is it the whole world went crazy, and I'm the one who has to take pills"? Really, when my depression is provoked by my bipolar disorder it's one thing, but when it's provoked by something outside myself it's completely another.

She said that she gave up all her sports classes and even got some serious health issues because of that. That's what I did as well. Work became hard, I moved less and less, until I found myself in a state where every movement is hard.

So, she talked to a therapist about lots of tiny details, but I will tell about the general idea, and yesterday I started applying it to myself as well.

The main thought is that all the time deeply inside we hope that all this situation will be solved, and we will be free to go wherever we want again, and it will be fine. Such uncertainty is what harms our minds most. Our brain likes when everything is clear, and unfulfilled expectations harm it even more, than bad situation itself. So, the therapist said, that it will be better if we say confident ""NO" to ourselves.

No, life will never be the same again. We have to learn how to live in a new situation, from the very beginning.

He advised to work with this loss like with actual loss. You know these five phases of accepting. So, first, we have to go through them all. And than build a new fundament for new life.

I understood that he's right, and I will never get out of my deep down if I will not accept it.

Lockdowns and quarantines really ruined all my social life (don't think that I had a lot. I don't go to bars or discotheques, I just had a few friends to play DnD with and sports activities that I enjoyed). DnD moved to on-line mode, which is great, but sports...

A few months before first lockdown came I was forbidden to make any hard sports. I gave up kickboxing and it was super hard. But I found stretching classes and I can't stress enough how much I enjoyed it. The club was five minutes away from my home, I loved the teacher, she was awesome, I loved the club itself, and I really enjoyed the classes like never before, and I never looked at my watch to find out how soon it will end. And what's most important - I had really good results!

This is the loss I still can't deal with. Training at home is much less efficient, and it made me quit at all.

Now I understand that in order to go on I have to take all my inner forces and just say "No, it will not be the same again". And stop hoping for that, and build a new life.

This post already becomes a long-read, so I will go on tomorrow and tell, what plan I created.

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See you in the next post!
Love, Inber

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Congratulations for your beautiful puppy! Thanks for sharing with us this thought, I realized that you’re really right. the most important thing in life is to be always ready for change, whatever it is!