Federal Reserve Wants You to Wear Masks and Take Vaccines to Save the Economy

in #comedy3 years ago (edited)

(...and 3 other funny-but-disturbing stories!)

"The path of the economy will depend significantly .. on vaccinations" said the central bank's announcement today, imploring Americans to "continue to wear masks to keep the virus at bay".

"There's nothing more important to the economy now than getting vaccinated," announced Dr. Jerome Powell, sentiments which were echoed by his colleague at the Federal Reserve University Hospital, Dr. Janet Yellen.

The economy - something else they're unqualified to handle - remains in shambles, according to the Fed. The private organization masquerading as a government body promised to keep interest rates at-or-below zero, and use an impressive and limitless array of tricks, programs, tools, policies, and adjustments to keep the ponzi scheme going. In other words, failure is not an option, and even if they have to zombify the economy to make it appear functional, that's what they'll do.

Other news that makes you laugh so you don't unhinge

Canada's "leader" Justa Hairdeau announced more travel restrictions are coming. Canadians, who are currently locked down in their homes under threat of fine or prison, are left wondering how much less travel they can possibly undertake. The most obedient are already begging to be tied to their beds 18 hours a day to combat the "surge in cases".

"Obviously, extremely low is still not zero and importing one case is too many," Turdeau said, seeming not to notice the virus has already spread to Canada. The first confirmed case here was over a year ago, and since then millions have been infected. It's too late to localize the outbreak, by about 13 months.

"Do more"

Bonnie Henry, the public face of Covid in BC, has a renewed message of fear for the people. "This is THE most dangerous time yet. For the next two weeks, I'm asking you to do more. More than you've ever done before, stay home, stop social interactions."

After 10 months of harsh lockdowns and restrictions, with distrust of the official narrative plunging, these tone-deaf demands of the victims seem sadistic.

I'm almost beginning to think they WANT a fight? Like they're gaslighting and prodding and goading the people into doing something. Like they're forming up 2 sides - the statists versus everybody else - and getting ready to ignite a powderkeg to bring about mass unrest, societal collapse, and civil war.

I don't want to fight - I'm a peaceful man! But I'm fed up with the bullshit!

Wear TWO Masks!

I wish I was kidding! They're now suggesting that we wear TWO MASKS - at the same time! "Experts" also say we need to upgrade our masks from 3 layer filtered masks, to surgical/dental masks.

There's the best man in the United States of America, everybody! The pinnacle of American intelligence, strength, integrity, and wisdom. Great posture, too.

DRutter

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When I was little and I asked adults how atrocities in human history happen, they say stupid things like "we had no idea what was going on". Why couldn't they be more realistic and say, well kid: most people are the type to shut up and do what they're told to avoid trouble for themselves. And when the things they're told to turn a blind eye to things that are gradually more and more evil, they then must to put up psychological defence mechanisms (like cognitive dissonance through compartmentalizing information) so that the lie they tell themselves (I'm on the side of the good guys), it doesn't feel congruent, because really they're not good.

But that isn't greedy, because you're not trying to get more stuff for yourself, right? Just more security? The key is lying to yourself! Say the mantras "I'm a good guy, nothing bad is going on here, other people are bad for trying to rock the boat, I'm not deluded - they're paranoid". They're throwing everybody else under the bus to try to get a little more protection for themselves and calling it love and anything else fear-mongering.

Fear is an ironic, self-fulfilling prophecy: if you're paralyzed by fear, you collectively give power to the people trying to scare you!

Talk about investing in evil!

The Federal Reserve can suce mes noix, eh!?

Crazy stuff.

Got your 2nd and 3rd mask ready for the next time you go out? Ready for your 2 (probably 3+) shots of the vaccine? Ready for another year of house arrest? We're all in this together!