Tales of the Urban Explorer: Ivy House Farm

“What’s that over there?”

Both of us had spotted it, and it looked like a big nothing. If you don’t look, then you don’t find.

@anidiotexplores had been down this road previously but had never stopped. It looked unappetising, to say the least.

Was it a large barn, full of cow shit, pig shit, or any other type of shit? Let me tell you, I don't go for animal dung in any flavour, even if it's spiced with some of that salted caramel you tend to find in expensive overpriced coffee shops such as Starbucks.

I dumped the car on a grass verge. This was the wilderness and there was little choice. Close by was a detached property, very lived in and likely housed a tribe of multiple-generation Karens. Initially, we kept well away.

'Private Keep Out', could mean there was something worth looking at and this forlorn rusty bar written with white paint was hardly going to do the trick of deterring us.

There were several buildings, each in a different stage of decomposition. One looked like a garage, was wide open and so we entered.

The ghetto blaster may well still work and claims to be a dual tape system, but I only see one tape deck included. A strong gust of wind would do wonders for it.

Suspicious-looking documents, I was always going to have a peek at these.

A-Level Physics from 24 years ago. Not quite your subject @revisesociology but it should look somewhat familiar.

Further inside I found the notes of the student, a little damp and runny but still quite legible.

If you are studying in a freezing garage, then you do need a little sustenance. The Blue Cheese biscuits could be a little far gone, and I wasn’t going to prise off the rusty lid to check.

This paper does have some markings present. Was this a teacher, who lived in a garage and did the marking here?

It must have been quite chilly living here, there’s not even a door.

We left the open garage and struggled to get inside another smaller building close by. After struggling with fierce brambles, the reward wasn’t so good.

The roof looked like it was about to cave in and yet a light bulb cheerfully hung in its socket.

I heard a yell from @anidiotexplores and guessed he must have found something a little more interesting. Hoping it was not a pile of stinking rancid manure topped with fresh cherries and a dab of double cream I headed in the direction of his voice.

This barn or garage or hut did contain an unlocked door and I entered a room teeming with discarded decaying goods.

Some kid's toys, with a whole bunch of ancient CRT TVs on the floor.

Just look at those, the Nintendo Scope immediately got my eye, but there was some dodgy cable loitering around the outside of the box. I know these peripherals have some value.

It was quite a shit game; I remember it more from the Commodore Amiga. The PC didn’t do so well in the early nineties.

These got my attention even more, they were in great condition and not slime-filled like I usually find. This is one of the only times I have been tempted to take something away from an exploration.

I used to buy these things on junk markets and offload them on eBay years ago. I did resist.

The Sega Megadrive looked beat up but likely still works. I didn’t see the power supply unit.

Large boy’s toys; possibly valuable but not my thing.

If it would have started ringing, now that would have been freaky.

...'I know you are in there you bastards..., I am coming for you'....

It's tough to read but in the same era as the exam papers, and dated 1997.

Talk about old shit for a car boot sale. I do wonder if any of these work. You might think the elements might render them useless but in my experience, they tend to be more resilient than you think.

Is there supposed to be a large gap between the space bar and the bottom of this typewriter? Makes it easy to carry I guess.

Just when I thought I would need to devise a cheesy name for this one, I find an invoice book. The postcode does correlate with the location, so this is ‘Ivy House Farm’.

Unfortunately, there was little of the farm left, and that included the farmhouse. Unless… it was just one A Level Physics teacher who lived alone, and occasionally played Risk and Sonic the Hedgehog while watching TV on EIGHT different sets while cooking TV dinners in any of FOUR microwave ovens.

It takes all sorts, and I find them all the time.

My assumptions could be a little wayward. A girl’s bike and all those Tonka toys also live here.

While marking exam papers, why not have some extra loud metal music from one of several ghetto blasters kicking about? This one could chew up your Metallica tapes when playing which could make them sound even better.

It looked unused. The location is quite remote, maybe he forgot to send it back for a refund?

A treasure trove of junk, some albeit with value; we left the barn, or hut or garage, or whatever it was closing the door firmly behind us.

This was as far as we could get on the far side of 'Ivy House Farm' without alerting the local busybodies. It was a large house with a massive tended garden. We knew they would be out with pitchforks in seconds.

FOOTNOTE: This location was leaked, and some thieving bastards took everything of value shortly after we visited. Cunts.

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