Anyone who knows me has heard me talk about my Uncle Ken, the centenarian. He’s not the first centenarian in my family. My grandmother (his mother) lived until 101 and was just as aware and alert as Ken is. My other grandmother lived to 99. She was a very quiet lady whom we all adored.
I spent most of my early adult life volunteering around seniors. They were veterans of WW1, WW2 and Korea and I volunteered with the Royal Canadian Legion.
Our North American culture often doesn’t give our elders the respect and voice we should. Young people often dismiss them or treat them more like children than the intelligent people they are with a lifetime of learning and wisdom gained from real experience.
The Veterans I knew when I joined are all dead now but I felt privileged to have spent time around them. I watched these men and women who had lived ordinary lives as young people and then had to interrupt that time to go off to war.
I worked alongside them. I admired their resilience and sense of duty to the memories of the fallen and care for each other and the community. They were, in my view, amazing people who I learned a lot from them.
One of the most important lesson I learned from them was the importance of duty and commitment. When they took on a volunteer job, they treated it as though they were getting paid dollars. In their mind, and in mine, the payment was making a difference in lives and the community.
I recently had a conversation with a Legionnaire who, like me, has had a longterm involvement with the Legion. We were discussing how so many community service organizations are struggling to gain members who will step up and take on a true commitment to service.
The lessons those veterans taught me had been so completely absorbed and implemented by me, it came as a bit of a shock to realize my age group didn’t share those values of duty and commitment. Not all, but certainly fewer than the wartime generations.
I happened across some videos on YouTube today of seniors, 85-103 years old being interviewed about their lives. They were asked what they would like to pass on to the younger generations. Here’s some points I picked up:
- 101 is only a number
- So many fond memories. So many people to remember
- Don’t really feel older, except for limitations of age
- Continue to keep active
- People give up too easily in marriages
- Got to keep up with the times… listen to advice from parents/elders and at least consider it
- Be as independent as you can but don’t be reluctant to ask for help when needed
- Be kind and respectful to others
- Never stop learning and doing
- Young people spend too much time on their phones. They should put them down and look at the world.
- Life is what you make it, what you want to get out of it.
- Enjoy every minute, they never come back
- Keep a clean mind, a clean body and plenty of exercise
- Do always more and volunteer to do more for others
- Do things. Do for people. Help your town. It’s a great feeling.
- Do better than what you really have to do
Uncle Ken will not allow anyone to call him old. His mindset is that age is a number and he’s not letting it hold him back. He’s as active as life lets him be.
Last I talked to him, he was busy assembling albums of photos and memories. He’s making sure those who see it when he’s not around will know who is who and what the events were. He’s also written and self-published an autobiography in the last few years.
Recently, I learned he has a new lady friend and they were going to a dance. She’s his age.
I got a smile watching this video of a 7 year old and a 64 year old asking each other similar questions. It’s just over 4 minutes.
Keep right on to the end of the road,
Keep right on to the end,
If the way be long, let your heart be strong,
Keep right on round the bend.
If you're tired and weary still journey on,
Till you come to your happy abode,
Where all you love that you're dreaming of
Will be there at the end of the road.
— Sir Harry Lauder
header image from pixabay.com
Shadowspub is a writer from Ontario, Canada. She writes on a variety of subjects as she pursues her passion for learning. She also writes on other platforms and enjoys creating books you use like journals, notebooks, coloring books etc.
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How one misses the older generation when they have gone on, never interfering always great guidance in a way at the time you never realized till later.
My Aunt made 100 (only one in our family) involved in WW2 women's Army Corps. Dad another who went to war only marrying later in life. So many rich memories, stories of their youth growing up on farm, walking miles to school.
My Grandfather (Dad's side) arrived with the British to fight the Boer War, returned home and came back to live here in South Africa.
History is being lost when young generation does not take the time to give of themselves getting to know the older generation, sad but true this is happening in many parts of the world.
Film industry take stories adding glamour to sell, not giving true insight to some horrors these generations wnt through, no wonder no interest/respect is given or lessons of old learned.
So many young people have little interest in history and they often forget those people who we now see as aging people are recent history in person.
My experience with war veterans who had seen action was they rarely talked about it, especially to a civilian. I learned pretty early if someone was being vocal about 'being in the war' to have a look at the medals they wore at more formal times. Most times, the medals would tell the story of someone who had served but in safe spaces.
My dad was in the Italian campaign. He and my uncle were both in the country at the same time.
My uncle was with his unit one night when they were ambushed and almost decimated. He was badly wounded and evacuated to an aid station. I learned recently from him that dad's unit had marched through the area the following day. The bodies hadn't even been picked up.
I can't imagine what it was like for dad to be marching past that spot. Knowing it was Ken's unit and not know if he was passing him.
Dad never talked about it. There were three stories I can recall dad talking about. They all involved what could be seen as divine intervention which gave him the sense that it wasn't yet his time to go.
War veterans related funny events like diving into a whole for cover in the desert up North, seeing a snake at the bottom of the pit and reversing out midair.
Years after my father passed I received all his daily diaries to read through, (now take care of for next generation), letters and some articles he wrote printed in local newspaper. My late oldest brother had documents and medals all in safe keeping.
Dad was in North African and Italian Campaigns, wounded in his buttocks with flying shrapnel, was in field hospital in North Africa for a spell. Had an operation when I was young to remove some pieces which must have been around 15 years later, perhaps it was the snake in the pit story he related!
Yes, we will remember them, now and always!
I came to realize over the years, they talked about the funny, the spiritual and other aspects because talking about what took them there, the war brought up too many memories.
I used to facilitate presentations to young students around Remembrance Day. When we reached the point where the kids were able ask the Veterans questions I used to start off by asking the kids if they ever had bad dreams.
When they would respond with a show of hands I'd then say to them, "bad things happen during a war. These gentlemen may have seen some of those bad things and would rather not talk about them. So, if they decline answering a question, please understand, it's like a bad dream".
The kids were good about it and the Vets appreciated having the out if the kids ventured too close to painful stuff. It almost seemed to challenge the kids to ask very thoughtful questions.
One of the early groups of kids when we finished the presentations. The teachers were trying to get the kids to line up for the walk back to school. They ignored their teachers and lined up to shake the vets hands and thank them. It was a very touching moment for the vets.
Growing up going to Remembrance day services from young, aware our father fought during the war, met my Mom as a pen-pal during the years away through her cousin, married to my Dads brother, questions never asked going into detail.
Dad went to MOTH meetings monthly, being a relatively small community we went to Christmas parties at the MOTH hall and grew up with all the children whose parents had been over as well.
Walls in the halls, sketches of my Dad from his time away, one knew not to ask, my father in law much the same. Rare stories were told when time was right. Question...., never it was not polite!
Scout Hall outings not very frequent, viewing Charlie Chaplin, Three Stooges and odd black and white movie like Dam Busters were shown on an old projector to wall screen, we learned slowly what the meaning of war is.
Now all written in history, with too many wars still happening. Children do need to know, perhaps doing family tree will lead them into questioning why one day!
it's distant history for them ... knowing a relative was involved sometimes makes it more real.
I remember sitting with my niece as we watched Schindler's List and she asked me about some of the scenes. I explained them to her, about the hate that was so common then. After watching for a while she asked me if this was the war her grandpa fought in. Told her yes. She thought for a bit and then said, "Now I know why it had to be won".
She got the relevance. The behaviour in those scenes went against everything she had been taught about how to treat people.
Those who romanticize war definitely portray the wrong message to the youth. Bare facts, reasoning devastation to young something that should be taught in school curriculum not watered down either.
This brings an old John Prine song to mind.
Compared to some other cultures that I have lived in, the British are similar to North Americans in that elders are not given the respect they deserve and most certainly not give a voice either.
Those points you picked up on are great and generally things I like to do.
Sir Harry Lauder what a man he was!
I suspect that the British way of treating elders was transplanted through so much immigration from Britain in our early days.
That may well be very true, however, I have noticed the decline in respect and treatment of our elders compared to when I was child. Whenever I returned to the UK after a few years abroad I noticed it getting worse and worse.
I can't say I disagree. We were taught to show respect for our elders. It floors me the young people who demand they be shown respect before they will be respectful.
I had a few exchanges with one of my nephews who eventually got it through his head that he needs to show respect to other people if he expects to receive it.
Your exchanges with your nephew sound familiar to the ones I had with my nephew a while ago!
I never remembered being taught to show respect. It was just expected and God help us if we didn't. Times change it seems.
Yes it was, expected, but manners were natural back then, now though, uff it is a disgrace what goes on.
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What a really beautiful blog @shadowspub, invaluable lessons from very very wise people!
I just love the video you shared...so sweet about hugging his friend when he gets hurt! I agree with the little boy, homework is the one thing I will never miss ;)
Thank you so very much for sharing this with our community.
I really love watching the interaction between the generations. There is so much to share in both directions. My young niece used to go for the shock value of what she knew and thought when she was young. She'd often deliver those zingers when I was driving which required a level of self control to remain focused on the road and respond to her. I think it was a game for her.
I really enjoyed reading your post and watching the video.
I enjoyed reading these. The things you learnt from memories of your grandma and the old people you have worked with or spent time with is a treasure. I shouldn't forget any of them too. I also enjoyed watching the interview between the old and that young boy. Sometimes I too wish I could go back to being younger, but growing up isn't too bad as well. Haha. I subscribed to Facts also. I want to hear more. Thanks
That channel has some interesting videos and not too long. I don't often watch much longer than about 5 minutes. Which is why it's rare when I do a video and even rarer if it's more than 5 minutes ;)
I value what I've learned from the older generation.
This touched my soul, it truly did.
The duty and commitment that you speak of is how I was raised, respect, honor, and love my brother. I just don't understand what happened. Where did we go wrong that it is no longer expected to show respect, even to one's own parent?
I think the expectation has gone away, parents no longer expect their kids to behave, they hope they will, even to the point of rewarding them if they are. Seriously? I have seen how kids are in charge, telling parents what they want at the grocery store... etc. Parents ask their children what they want for lunch! That in itself is not bad, but, then when they tell you and you don't have it, then it is time for a tantrum.
These are small points, but, there is no longer an expectation of our children, so why do they have to show the respect that they are not asked to show their own parents?
Parents need to get their faces out of their phones also. The kids learned it there first. I see parents going through a grocery store with 2 or 3 kids, talking on a phone the entire time. You wonder why things are the way they are.
That.
The video was absolutely priceless and heartwarming. Thank you for these moments. ❤️
I think you have touched on a lot of reasons why the shift in tone. It's the little things that seemed too small to care about that build up over time. Children learn the small things and they build into being automatic.
Sometimes adults complicate the effort. I remember my sister teaching her children manners. She'd prompt them when we were out like in a store or restaurant and the server would respond with "that's okay". Well no, it's not okay and that is why the child is being prompted to do right. The mixed message wasn't helpful.
To get around that, if one of them didn't use their manners they would hear either a throat being cleared or 'excuse me?". They knew what to do and had best do it.
One thing we didn't agree on was about the wearing a cap at the table. My sister felt it wasn't a big deal, I saw it as part of good manners. They did what they chose with their mother, but out with me, the cap came off. No excuses.
I agree with you about parents and devices. I've been guilty of that myself. Doing something at the computer and one of the kids wanting some company. I did come to realize I needed to come away from the computer and spend time with them. I regret the times I didn't and could have.