On ya bike, girl

When I was a kid and was sick, the recovery was the reward, not getting a prize for getting healthy.

There was one time I did get a gift however, and that was when I was around 8 years of age. We had guests over late and a brother and I who shared a room had been put to bed, but were still awake. We had these old, plastic fluorescent tube desk lamps and touching the tube while they were off would cause them to give a slight glow - great fun.

My light fell and when I picked it up, I also grabbed the cord.


The lamps originally belonged to my eldest brothers.


I grabbed the cord and couldn't let go - I was being electrocuted. We lived in an old house prior to compulsory safety switch installation and the fuses were obviously thick enough to allow the slow cooking of children.


Years earlier, my elder brothers had tried to staple the light cords, missed, and left an exposed staple piercing the cord.


So, there I was - getting deep fried and unable to let go as my muscles spasmed, trying to talk but being unable to until somehow, I managed to wrench my hand away. My brother in the bed on the other side of the room was unaware of what was really going on as the "glow" from his finger touching his lamp didn't illumiate the room and it was pitch black. Me, smelling a lovely grill, ran from the room and to the top of the lounge room stairs to where the guests and my parents were sitting enjoying the evening and I tried to tell them what had happened. But I couldn't.

The only thing that my mouth could manage was to open and close rapidly making a stuttering sound and t this day, the only thing running through my mind at the time was the realization that *
I sounded just like Porky Pig saying -

a-be-a-be-a-be-a-be-That's all folks!

So, after being electrocuted heavily and my finger litterally burned black at the point I was connected to the matrix through a misplaced staple, my mother took me to the store and I was able to pick out a toy - which was a brown dog.


My daughter who has been ill with a fever for over a week, got visited by her grandparents today and they had made a deal with her directly that if she drinks enough water, she will get a surprise. Now, I am not a huge fan of this kind of bribery, but grandparents are grandparents... I was also expecting some kind of little knickknack trinket kind of thing ... but no

A bloody bike.

Not only that - a bike that I was considering getting for her upcoming birthday!! Talk about getting sniped.

The bike is something I wanted to get her as it is a peddle-less bike that will encourage her to improve her balance and coordination, plus it is a bit of fun that is easy to kick around the yard with. I don't think that these existed when I was a kid, but they are popular here and seem to get kids easily over the fears of learning to ride - not that I think that is necessarily a good thing either - but then, it only took me 15 minutes to learn how to ride a bike. At this point I should also mention that, most of the worst injuries I have ever sustained have come on a bike, and I used to jump down flights of stairs on rollerblades.

So, I don't know if this is just the way grandparents spoil the little ones these days (it wasn't like this with mine) or if this is the kind of "new normal" where there is some kind of social pressure to give a reward for ordinary - but, my daughter is pretty stoked with the gift and after a minute or two, was happily pushing herself along on the grass.

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And I know that you are all wondering...

This is the now thirty three year old dog that I got as a gift for coming close to death when I was eight - one of the many times in my life I have rolled that dice and won. It is also one of the very few things I own from my childhood and I gave it to my daughter.

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She is too young to understand the story behind it yet - but one day she will hopefully read this and who knows, perhaps still have the evidence tucked away in a box in the attic and pass the story onward.

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Porky Pig would stutter trying to say one thing and then say something different. At the endings, he would try saying "The End" but would stutter "the the thee the the thee" and then substitute "that's all folks". I remember as a kid being amused less by the stuttering than by the substitutions.

I don't suppose you still stutter after that day?

I don't suppose you still stutter after that day?

He doesn't stutter...But the electrocution gave him superpowers...We called him sparkboy from then on.

Ok, not really...But he certainly glowed in the dark for a while. Hey, what are older brothers for? Had I not stapled that cord years earlier he may have stubbed his tow on he way to the bathroom at night.

!ENGAGE 25

:)

Once my muscles relaxed I was fine. I still had a lisp though :)

I once stepped on an extension cord powering a lap clock at a swim meet. The plug was in a puddle of water from the pool. It was an alarming experience. I was more careful where I stepped after that.

I have electrocuted myself on purpose several times since - I like the feeling. =)

Aw, geez. That's nuts. The only time I've done it on purpose was in high school. Our Physics teacher would have us hold hands in a circle and then crank a dynamo.

Our Physics teacher would have us hold hands in a circle and then crank a dynamo.

This doesn't sound like it is enough to get me charged.

hahaha :D

I have electrocuted myself on purpose several times since - I like the feeling. =)

LoL! next time take a videoclip or a picture of that and share it with us here you fucker. Hahahaha :D

This doesn't sound like it is enough to get me charged.
hahaha :D

Really? };)

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Bike with no peddles, I don’t believe I’ve seen that before, what a weird consept. I guess that would be less accident prone though,but where’s the fun in that.

You haven't seen these little kids kicking around on these the last 10 years? You should go to the local kids park with your camera and take pictures of them ;D

I have seen kids kick around on their bikes but I guess I’ve missed that there aren’t any peddles on the bike at all.

I’ll live that action to someone more suspicious looking 😆

It is kind of weird and I think it is going to cost me the price of her sneakers...

I’ll live that action to someone more suspicious looking

I think a woman would get away with it.

Oh I know I would. I take pictures of kids or anyone for that matter if they look interesting or are doing something I deem photogenic out in the open. That sounds so wrong...

It is not something I am looking to test in the wild.

Years earlier, my elder brothers had tried to staple the light cords, missed, and left an exposed staple piercing the cord.

One could argue that stapling a power cord was not so smart...Little do they know that the prank worked perfectly as years later you got electrocuted.

Ah yes, good times, good times.

Could have been worse I guess.

I am surprised I didn't end up becoming an electrician :D

Well, that's what we were trying to achieve...Get you into a solid vocation later in life. Nothing like a little electrocution as a prompt.

I think millennials could do with some electroshock therapy too.

Oh yeah...Turn the dial up to 11 too!

Those pedal-less bikes are great for small kids as they find their balance a lot quicker and easier when they can run along the ground, then learn to start drifting as they slowly find their balance, and then when they're reliably drifting without wobbling you can stick the pedals on (that thing did come with pedals right?) and all they have to do is start pedalling.

Due to lack of funds (to get a bike) and motivation the boys didn't actually learn how to ride bikes til later than most kids would and that was how they learned. Took eldest a day because he insisted on trying to go straight to pedalling, youngest did the running along the ground thing til he found his balance and then hit the pedals and it took him somewhere between half an hour to an hour (could have been more or less as they'd been running around outside for at least that long when the friend who taught youngest to ride excitedly called us out to look).

Middle child was somewwhere between 7 and 9 when she taught herself to ride a bike and I remember watching her running and drifting laps around the house before she worked out the pedals.

I think it's better than training wheels anyway XD

Ahh I used to jump down flights of stairs on skates too. I'm guessing your elbows and knees are also pretty scarred? :D

With the grandparent thing I'm pretty sure they're overcompensating for something. Either they remember growing up in poverty and go over the top making sure their precious grandbabies want for absolutely nothing at all ever, or perhaps harbour regrets about not being able to give their own children the lifestyle they wanted due to lack of resources in that earlier phase in their lives so now try to contribute/give it to their grandkids.

if I ever have grandkids I can totally see me doing the latter >_>

I only hang out with a tiny subset of specific people and also different countries so no idea if it's a social norm or not, all I know is that the company I keep generally think participation awards are dumb so I can't see any of them appreciating buying an expensive gift just from recovering from illness. Even major surgery recoveries would probably get a card and a bunch of flowers or balloons, guess we're a heartless bunch XD

Glad small is enjoying her bike anyway :D hope you have backup plans for her birthday, getting sniped is rather annoying XD

(that thing did come with pedals right?)

Nope - No chain at all :D She does have a bike already but struggles with it even with training wheels as it is too hard for her to pedal and there is no flat ground around.

I'm guessing your elbows and knees are also pretty scarred?

I once scraped an elbow to the bone... shudders.

With the grandparent thing I'm pretty sure they're overcompensating for something.

They are and it might be partly the poverty thing, but I think that mostly it is because they have four other grandkids from their other daughter and they have been able to be there a lot through their lives (they are now aged 10-22ish) while they had more energy to spend with them. I think they realise they won't have the same opportunity with smallsteps so want to make up for it somehow.

Even major surgery recoveries would probably get a card and a bunch of flowers or balloons, guess we're a heartless bunch XD

Flowers!? ;D

I have no idea what to get her now.

I once scraped an elbow to the bone... shudders.

D: oh ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew EW.

You're right, chocolate is much better than flowers XD

Does she have a cute helmet to go with the bike?

I think it's better than training wheels anyway XD

Curiously, I believe I learned the trick about how to ride a bike and keep balance when very young through a dream. I kinda remember of trying to ride a bike for first time just the next day after that dream and everything went well as expected. I can almost swear I never tried to ride a bike before that dream ever.

I think that's one of the most epic things I've ever heard of a brain managing O_O

Do you pick up stuff through dreams or otherwise at a ridiculously fast pace (aka to you everyone else seems a bit slow) now as well? :D

Well, actually I think that experience was way more simple. Probably as a sub product of my eidetic memory. I suspect that dream were just accumulated subconscious images of observing in detail how others used to ride a bike. And my very logic mind apparently deducted what was the key and true trick of how to get on top of the bike and then keep the balance once you started pedaling after that first impulse.

Fortunately, my intuition was correct and that trick was all I needed to learn to ride a bike immediately. :)

I would share with you now what was that trick. But my lawyer and business advisor here says that I shouldn't share publicly that info yet, until I have the trick patented first. Hahahaha

I was also lucky to escape electricity, but I didn't stutter. When I took off I screamed loudly mom. But there was no prize. Just a reminder that children don't touch power outlets.

Yeah, I think if it had been more my fault, I wouldn't have got anything for the stupidity.

We lived in an old house prior to compulsory safety switch installation and the fuses were obviously thick enough to allow the slow cooking of children.

If you want them nice and tender you have to cook them slow.

I think it's cool that small steps is now a biker, no matter the source. That's sort of Grandparents job to spoil the grandchildren.

The only time I remember a gift is when I had mono as a senior in HS. I spent about a week too weak to even lift the covers when I was in bed. When I started to recover a bit my mom brought two magic books hoping to give me something to do that didn't involve exercise. It worked to a point. I can watch a magic show and know how some tricks are done, and I learned to handle cards really well.

I'm really glad that small steps has the bear. That's a good story.

If you want them nice and tender you have to cook them slow.

Yes Clarice.

That's sort of Grandparents job to spoil the grandchildren.

This is how I see it and they are getting on in years so it is best to roll with it for now.

When I started to recover a bit my mom brought two magic books hoping to give me something to do that didn't involve exercise.

I wonder how many lifelong passions are sourced from random events like this.

You sure know how to keep things... A 33 year old dog! That's interesting.... Things have really changed these days, because parents gift their children for simple/ordinary tasks such as finishing their food, maybe if I was rewarded for eating when I was younger, I would have turned out to be bigger😂

Yeah, we don't reward her under normal circumstances, but we also let the grandparents be grandparents.

maybe if I was rewarded for eating when I was younger, I would have turned out to be bigger

I shudder to think for me...

we also let the grandparents be grandparents

Of course

I shudder to think for me...

😂

Oh yes, those grandparents. With their kindness, they pamper children very much. I think I'll be even worse when I become a grandfather. You are lucky that you were able to rip your hand off when you were 8 years old.