Psychology and Learning: Reflections on a 20-Year Anniversary

Late last week, I was invited to partake in a "Virtual Gathering" of people who had been past participants at retreats for HSPs ("Highly Sensitive Persons") in the course of the 20 years these particular events have been taking place.

As many of you probably know, I am an HSP.

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Once the initial bafflement — which happened in 1997 — at the idea that being "highly sensitive" was even a thing had passed, I set out to learn what I could about this new (to me) reality that sensitivity could be more than a learned response; that it could actually be something hard-wired into certain humans, at the genetic level.

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As part of my learning about high sensitivity, I also became very active within the small but growing "community" of individuals whom we might call the trailblazers of establishing — or maybe it was legitimizing —something as esoteric as a new genetic trait in humans.

As part of this journey of discovery, I joined online groups, forums, attended lectures... and — in 2002 — found myself on a plane from Austin, Texas to San Francisco to attend a four day retreat for HSPs. It was, in its own way, a life changing experience.

In subsequent years, I went to 6-7 more such retreats as I kept learning and getting deeper in my involvement with a growing global community trying to establish their identities in a world that historically had treated "sensitivity" as an affliction.

Among my countless "writing projects," I even started up a free-standing blog — called "HSP Notes" — which went on to develop quite a following, and today remains one of the web's oldest venues dedicated to this "trait" some of us are blessed/cursed with.

And so, last Friday, June 26th, I found myself on a Zoom call "Online Gathering" for those of us who at some point attended one of the almost 40 retreats held over the past 20 years.

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In some ways, it was slightly nostalgic and brought back some memories. Alas, not that many of the people I remember were participants — after all, the last retreat I went to was in 2008... but in a slightly sad way, I also recognized that I had moved on and wasn't in "that place" anymore.

In retrospect, I now realize that this is simply the nature of many journeys of learning we undertake. It's basically like going to school. We learn, and learn, and learn.. but at some point, we come to the realization that we can't just keep studying who we are and what we're about, we have to step forth and BE who we are.

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I look around the world, and I see surprisingly many people who "hide" behind learning... whether they are the "eternal students" of academia, or the apprentices always "working towards" becoming artists... or even those of us prone to almost compulsive psychological and emotional self-study before we feel "ready" to simply LIVE our lives.

Of course, I hasten to add that some are called to teach, and that is wonderful!

However, many also fall into the trap of remaining perpetual "bystanders;" living as eternal observers of their own lives while not ever daring to become active participants.

Truthfully, whereas I can't fault anyone for falling for the temptation of remaining in an eternal holding pattern, I do feel a sense of LOSS, when I think about it. But that's just me; I'm fundamentally lazy... so if I'm going to put effort into learning something, I'm also going to do something with that.

Either way, I was glad I took the time to join this brief 20th Anniversary meeting, if for no other reason that it offered me the opportunity to contemplate what was important and what is important... and what I have learned about myself during the intervening 20 years.

And that's a good thing!

Thanks for reading!

How about YOU? Do you tend to "learn and move on," or are you more of an "eternal student?" Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!


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I keep learning and applying what I have learned. It is my happy place. I do learn something every time I happen upon your blog.

!tip

Thanks for the kind words, Denise... always happy to have you visit, and I'm glad I can occasionally offer a useful take-away or two!

I keep learning, never stop. Love your posts, I always learn something!

Thank you for the kind words! I like to keep learning, too... but I tend to move onto new things, more often than staying with the same thing and trying to become "world class" at something. But I do admire those who can just stick to the same thing until they are THE foremost expert at their field.

 4 years ago  

I love learning but I also love applying what I have learned and if the opportunity arises teaching what I have learned.
I like to reflect to as it seems you do too! Glad you had a good gathering with the HSP group and have moved on, living your life as a HSP!

Thanks @porters!

I haven't yet felt called to the teaching part, very much... I worry that it would end up feeling too much like an obligation, and some of the joy I felt while learning would be replaced by a sense of drudgery.

Of course, it could be that I just have expectations that are too high!

Just now, thanks to you, I discovered the news! It turns out my daughter and I belong to Highly Sensitive Persons :)

You are welcome! I have followed your blog since the early days on Steem, and based on some of the things you have said across the years, this does not surprise me!

Oh, I'm either 😅 nor do I act right away but either learn until I'm happy with it and move on: I'm, actually, the one who starts learning something and then jumps into a whole another thing - even if I wasn't even near mastering the other thing hahahahahah but YES. I think one of the reasons I'm like that is because I'm more focused on living what it feels good at the moment for me instead of working towards being professional at something.

Lack of commitment some people would call it. I just enjoy what brings me joy in the present. (Ok, ok, I do have to commit more in order to achieve some things as well 😂 that's right)

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I used to call that "Too Many Interests Syndrome," and I tend to be a bit like that, myself... even as I write these words, I am working on many different projects and microbusinesses, side by side.

Which is not to say that I am not highly proficient at many of the things I am involved with... but I tend to get to a point where I just feel more interested in moving on to the next thing. Easily bored? Maybe... or maybe it's just that I know I do my best work at something when I am truly interested in it... when I start growing bored and inspiration declines, so does the "quality" of what I have to offer people.

Yes! It happens the same with me - If I am not truly interested, I can't keep up with it. Or I can, but the quality will speak the truth for itself!

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How about YOU? Do you tend to "learn and move on,"

Story of my life. lol.
My Dad always said i'll never be rich.
When I asked why, he said that once I've mastered something - to the degree I'm happy with, I just move onto another challenge.

Sounds 'bout right. (He was always right, the wise fucker!lol).

I'm not sure , but I kinda feel like my time at hive might be coming to end soonish. Dunno, but it feels staid, gray, blah blah. (And no, that's not me projecting!)
See my latest post for a 'kind of pointer' to where my head is, re hive.

**Obviously I'll change my story entirely, come tomorrow...lol

I tend to think that "moving on" is a positive attribute... at least when you're doing so because you learned the lesson, but perhaps not so much for those who move on because they prefer to stick their head in the sand and pretend that something bad that happened didn't actually happen if they don't look at it.

Our dads sound oddly similar. Mine felt I "wouldn't amount to much" because I was quite content with "doing well," as opposed to "winning."

When I was 20-ish, I almost went on the pro golf tour — yes, I was good — but ultimately decided against it because I merely saw it as a way to walk around in the sunshine and collecting $1000 a week for finishing 43rd in a tournament. I never saw it in terms of winning or being the best. I was not driven, I was just participating.

My mindset has pretty much always been to do well enough to get by and little more. Along the way, people have insisted that this is just "because I haven't found my PASSION, yet." Well, I turn 60 next month, so I really have my doubts as to the veracity of those assertions...

I did read your post last night (but it was too late for me to write a coherent comment!) and found myself nodding quite a bit. I'll go back and read again, with a less foggied brain...

NEVER read my posts with a clear head - it confuses the shit outta me!

I swing between the 'do enough to get by' - and love winning, depending on my monthy cycles. (men have periods to, I read it huff post .lol)
Seriously though - I have won many things, but that's the point. Once I have won...my interest dissipates rapidly.

(Just one of many examples).
20 yrs old -UK sales manger for small company - made them the most profitable , and with the highest turnover, in 45 years of doing business - I then quit to go travelling 6 months after.... (I was 'set up' for life, career wise, if I'd stayed).
Zero interest.

I'm basically really stupid. lololol

Not so stupid, really. You succeeded, but you didn't agree to a life of drudgery. I've always wondered what athletes do, once they've won the Olympics gold medal, or whatever their aspiration was. You reach that "done it" point... and then the thrill of the hunt, game or whatever is gone. Not related, there were a couple of arcade games I played, way back when. I got good enough that I could play the highest level for 15-20 minutes... at which point I walked away and never played that game since.

Maybe things are fun while we are prov-ING a point, but boring once we have prov-ED it.

Losing at 'the game of monopoly monotony'...Oh bugger.

The "game of monotomy!" That's funny.... but true.