On Swimming & Yoga, and Churning the Waters Of the Self

in Natural Medicine4 years ago

This week, I've been practicing quite challenging vinyasa practices through my home studio's online teachings. I was blessed with a free 6 months membership because I can't access the live classes - the timings are wrong, with me on the other side of the world. It's a beautiful gesture, and I'm so grateful. I'm good at my home practice, but it's also really nice to be connected to home in some way and the yoga community there. It also helps me commit to a full hour without getting distracted. I need the fire in my belly, lest I sink into the depths of laziness and depression, which I can tend to do without steely determination to keep my head above water.

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Speaking of water, I have also been swimming a lot, in the many rivers around here. The cool waters are a welcome relief to the heat, both of the sun and the fire of my physical asana practice, and what it releases. Yoga has a way of making you pay attention, and that can see some pretty confronting and uncomfortable observations and feelings arise. If you've ever wanted to scream or cry during a yoga practice, or even during intensive physical pressure like a marathon, you'll know what I mean. There's no escaping the self in these moments. It's really not always pretty.

So swimming is a nice relief. Just swim in the cool waters and let it all be. Not 'let it go', but just be one with it all. All the demons, and all the gods, that dwell within.

I think of the churning of the ocean of milk - a Hindu story which describes an ever going struggle between these gods and demons inside us, a story populated by elephants and turtles and snakes. Basically, these demons and gods were churning the waters of this ocean in a huge effort and battle to bring up amrita, an elixir of immortality at the bottom. In the way these Hindu stories go, a mountain (Mount Madura) is used as a churning stick by the Gods, and the demons held the head of a naga (half snake, half man) and with this they churn the waters (think of those dark waters of the self, where all those struggles take place). Poison is even released by a demon, which the God Shiva takes and holds in his throat, turning it blue.

In the churning of the ocean, many beautiful and wondrous treasures were brought up from the murky depths - the moon, a beautiful and fragrant tree, the elephant mount of Indra, the cow of plenty, the goddess of wine, a wish fulfilling tree and celestial dancers, a celestial horse, the Goddess of abundance Lakshmi, Vishnu's conch, mace and magic bow, gems and a physician of the Gods who rose up from the depths with amrita, the supreme treasure of immortality.

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I think of this convoluted, crazy story as I swim. My feet don't touch the bottom, and water is not clear - it's a murky brown. Lily pads sit on the surface, tadpoles squirming underneath the huge green leaves. The light trembles on the surface, and the ash trees, heavy laden with keys, droop down to the surface. The surface is pretty - the depths are pretty scary though. I don't like to think of what lies beneath.

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The yogic metaphor is this - the mountain is our body, moving through the fire of our practice, the really hard stuff. Yoga is both on and off the mat, so it's not just the sweat of asana, but the difficult things that confront us in life, the things that challenge us and that we stand up to without fear. Vishnu in this story is the preserver of life - he's the committed one, the steadfast one that doesn't give up or let go even when things are tough. And we have to - the gods and demons in the water together bring up the nectar. It's not just one or the other. It's all the parts of ourselves that bring up the precious amrita, the end result of the hard work. Without the churning, without all that effort, there is no reward.

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All the treasures that emerge from the water are representative of something. Lakshmi is pretty obvious - who wouldn't want this much loved, beautiful goddess and all her strengths emerge from the churning of the waters? She's the deepest part of ourselves, the beautiful part, not the superficial, skin layer, the one concerned with only physical appearance. She's the true soul, the part of us that is one, that is absolute connection with all, reflecting the beauty of this true self back at us. We can see all the treasures as mirrors - as the demons are defeated, the moon comes from the waters. What is the moon for you? For me, it's sensitivity, gentleness, softness and femininity, imagination. What a wonderful treasure to embrace as it reaches the surface, and the hard parts fall away.

I think of all the hard parts of life as continually churning the water, to see what beauty rises.

As I practice on the yoga mat, I feel into all those parts of me that want to resist, to scream, to cry, to cheat, to run away, to rage. Instead of resisting, it can feel good - a kind of cleansing of the ocean-self. As the fire of my practice burns in my belly, I examine the places my mind goes, my limitations, my fears and the things that prevent me being my best self. It hurts. It's not pretty. Sometimes, I cry.

But without churning the waters, I don't give myself opportunity to get that little bit closer to my true self, and the bliss that comes from those momentary glimpses into oneness.

As I emerge from the cool river, having dived deep into the darkness and muck and experienced my anxiety and my demons down there, I feel a little lighter, leaving the murk behind until the next time I dive in.

With Love,

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We all KNOW this - that we need churning to release the hidden gems from the murk so the lotus can flower. I DO wonder-think and maybe believe that collectively we have created and manifested this energetic cosmic turmoil. If each of us is more introspective and these wisdoms and learnings are released-discovered gently, regularly and received with gratitude, the collective need for angst and turmoil evaporates. The same thought that lies behind trying to get 1 million people to meditate at the same time to calm the waters.

In the blink of an eye you will be surfing. Hold that thought. And maybe try to reset your expectation of quarantine? If you go into it with an expectation that is different than dread, then you will receive something special. I know.

 4 years ago  

I find it quite remarkable that all of us were experiending it at the same time, in a way we haven't for a very long time (since the last world war?).

I'm not really dreading quarantine, to be honest. As I said to Jamie, expect nothing good or bad and we can deal with whatever comes as and when, and I'm sure we'll adapt. Just was in personal touch with a friend of a friend there, and you can have care boxes so at least I wont have to rely on icky food, but even then, it mightn't be so bad. Not getting too bound up in it - it's just a story after all. I've had a lot of time to prepare for it - imagine what it would have been like for those who didn't know because they were mid flight when the rules were made!!!

You know whatever happens there will be some gift that comes out of it. Maybe many. x

Hi @riverflows, your post has been manually chosen by Hive Supporter and upvoted with 86%.

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This article (and your username) shows your attitude of gratitude, cherishing the simple pleasures in life. Your username seems to be a good indicator of who you are and what you stand for, and I'm glad to get to know you through your stream-of-consciousness writing style, drifting, going places. I myself am pretty new to the shadow work you're describing here, and so it's fresh on my mind, readying myself to go deep whenever necessary to face the emotions with a gentle gaze and allow them to move.

Swimming is one of my favorite joys in life. To me, it is by far the best quality of the city where we live: Austin, Texas. Even at this time when the public pools are closed, we have ample outdoor adventures awaiting us in the local swimming holes - artesian wells. Many of them are so clean we can drink the wild waters directly springing from the cold earth.

 4 years ago  

Oh how beautiful. I never associate Texas with water, but I've never been. Artesian wells must be so cool and fresh. Somerset, UK, where I am at the moment, has so much water bubbling up from underground springs and caves. I'm Australian, so my experience of water is much different - I'm an ocean girl, and the rivers are a different story back home. The streams here keep me sane.

I never knew this as shadow work until recently, but it's the perfect name for those dark nights swimming in the dark oceans of the soul. It's a constant process I believe and I envy those who seem to not NEED to grapple so with the demons and gods fighting within. Having a gentle gaze is exactly it. I love the story of inviting the demons to tea - it's a buddhist one. You can fight them, or you can invite them to tea, sit down with them and make peace.

I also love how 'happiness' is only one of the many, many human experiences in a smorgasbord of emotions, feelings and states of being. If we welcome happiness, we should welcome what every else arises, because this is what it means to inhabit this human life.

:) Inviting the demons to tea. That's right in parallel with that saying: "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Yeah, these last few months I'm learning some new ways to do shadow work, with an emphasis on fires. We have a good amount of fallen juniper trees nearby, so there's ample invitation to light a fragrant fire and have ourselves a little tea party.

Yoga is both on and off the mat, so it's not just the sweat of asana, but the difficult things that confront us in life, the things that challenge us and that we stand up to without fear.

I can relate to this as I too have been hanging onto all kinds of spiritual and artistic practices in order to muster the courage needed to face this chaotic world.

 4 years ago  

They say the real yoga begins off the mat. We hurt there so it hurts less when we step off the mat. Grateful for the practice.

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I love how you so easily bring your awareness in line with nature, because we are a reflection of what we see, especially when we are willing to see. It is through those moments of darkness and of suffering, that we experience some of the real beauties of life and when we get such clear glimpses into who we are. I so appreciate all that you bring to this platform with your healing words and amazing community spirit. Thank you xxxx

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