From the time I was 15 until the time I was 28 I carried a backpack filled to the brim. It wasn’t a backpackers backpack, it was meant for textbooks. I put lots of textbooks in it. I also put heavy old laptop in it. Sometimes I had extra pairs of clothing just in case... a toothbrush, my phone charger.
It was a survivors kit for student life in the city.
I would carry my backpack everywhere; To class, cafés, to friends houses, I even took it when I went for a walk, still filled to the brim. People always asked “what the hell is in there?”
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I think I started because I spent one summer couch surfing so I could take summer classes. I didn’t have enough money for a dormitory and so I moved from one friends house to another. I had a stupid idea that because it was heavy it was helping me stay strong and tough.
Oh God was I wrong.
I am still suffering the consequences of this. I’m in my mid-30s, but my body is that of a 55-year-old. I believe this contributed to all kinds of health issues, starting with server back discomfort and trouble sleeping that gets worse if I’m not careful. I would not be surprised if it has also influenced hair loss and tooth decay as well as organ functioning. The body is all connected. Through studying Chinese medicine theory, not just on a theoretical level but through an experimental process on myself and paying careful attention to cause and effect, I see a direct correlation. For example, my head is always tight, and through neck and even butt massage, I can relax my neck and skull.
I don’t have much reason to tell you all this, other than two important points. The first is, now you know why a check out for a week or two at a time sometimes. The second is to stress the point, Everything you do to your body can have an effect on your entire life.
I hope by telling you this, you can think twice about smoking cigarettes or eating sugar excessively, or drinking too much or eating too much meat. I hope you can get enough sleep, and learn to be a master of your own emotions because all of this has an effect.
The good news is that the body is incredibly resilient. It’s not that a little snack here and there isn’t poison, it’s that the body is that strong, it can deal with a beating for many years before it starts to show any drastic effect. But if you become sensitive to your muscles and breathing you can see how every little thing has an effect on the body.
The body is incredibly resilient and can regenerate to a certain degree. Actually it’s constantly decaying and constantly regenerating, and we need to do our best to make sure that it regenerates at a rate similar to its rate of decay.
I don’t know if we can regenerate faster than we decay, that would be the key to immortality, which I’m not even hoping for. But, I do know people who are in their 90s and able to exercise and run as if they were in their 40s. I don’t think that’s an anomaly so much as I think that most of us just take shit care of ourselves.
Sickness is not natural. Cancer is not natural. Disorders are generally caused by something. Just because we don’t know what causes them doesn’t mean that they just happen for no reason. Our habits at one point, our emotions are another, and sensitivity to the signals our body gives us is the ultimate key to avoiding most health issues.
I haven’t recovered, mostly because it took me a very long time to figure out what was wrong. The x-rays can only show so much, they tend to focus on bones not muscles or tendons, and the damn doctors forgot to mention my shoulders, for four years I thought this was a spinal issue, which it kind of sort of became as a result from poor treatment. I did my best to take care of myself, but the only guidance I had was a massage therapist who doesn’t speak English, and speaks in Buddhist riddles and anatomical vocabulary. The doctors in the hospital didn’t have an ounce of useful information for me.
That’s not to say that doctors are all bad or that they don’t know anything. I’m sure if I spent a couple thousand more dollars on x-rays and CT‘s they would’ve eventually discovered some form of thoracic outlet syndrome or something like that, which is what I recently discovered has a lot of similarities to my issues. But then again who knows, My symptoms aren’t as severe because I know how to massage myself to relieve tension in my body under most circumstances. And the symptoms might be complicated by some slight sciatica. It’s like to pinch nerves have been pulling at the top and the bottom of my spine for six years. It’s not exactly a common problem the doctors have a wealth of information on. As I said everything in the body connects to each other, and I don’t think there are many doctors who could’ve solve this mystery without wasting my time and money and potentially recommending some dangerous treatment.
I love the doctor who told me it was all in my head. Meanwhile my back was rockhard and I could feel my pulse in my head. Thanks to him, I started to learn more about the body so I could help myself and others.
Are used to get sick too are even three times a year, a common cold or something like that. Now I get sick every 2 to 4 years. I learned that when my glands start to feel swollen or I feel a sore throat I cut out all coffee alcohol sugar and spicy food and sometimes stop eating entirely for 24 hours. it works almost every time.
Are used to have stomach pain every single day. Now it comes about once a month or less, I learned that not only rockfish but also raw vegetables are harder on the stomach and that I need to massage my abdomen when I wake up after meals and when I go to sleep.
I learned how emotions directly affect the nervous system which can lead to muscle tension, this is not some woo woo shit. I’m not talking about feeling energy, or chakras (which is not to say I disbelieve these things, I just prefer things I can be more certain of) These are obvious physical sensations, once you learn to pay attention to the breath, and to breathe into different parts of your body.
This whole thing has been a maze, I’m finally starting to come out of it but the final stretch is the hardest part because I’m already battered from the past six years. I’m not fucking around when I say that all completely recover from this. Most of my friends and family have already given up on that. But I know myself and I know my body. I know that if I can take care of myself for the next few months, this is going to go away and life will be a lot easier.
I am thankful for everything that I learned thanks to these body issues, but I really really want to stress that you can save yourself years of suffering by tending to your body and your emotions and listening to what your body asks you for.
For those who are in the same boat as me, and you’ve already messed yourself up pretty bad, the good news is you’re on the healer’s journey. If you try and untangle yourself through your own intuition and learning process, you’ll be able to share what you’ve learned with other people and help them too. Through facing your old demons, you’ll be able to come out a new person that you love a whole lot more than the old version, and that’s a you that’s made to be healthy.
If anyone needs any help, feel free to reach out. I don’t know about every condition, but I have a lot of general advice that can help anyone.
🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎
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Even slight health problems can make a terrible impact on quality of life if persistent. I have had chronic illness for 25+ years now and I wonder, what would be different if it had even been half as severe. Will never know, so I have to take the "what doesn't kill me" approach to life :)
"Receive your demons" - welcome them in, sit them down, have a chat.
Is it better now? It’s rough. You can never really convey to other people what you are going through with some things too and you still have to function as normal or risk falling into isolation and depression. I really hope my experience can help some people. I’m still figuring it out but I’m really close to a break through
Nah, but I am managing with it. Got it for life, as well as all the side-effects of the drugs they had me on.
Hope you continue on the path of discovery and find what works for you the best. :)
Same to you, if you ever crash and feel like shit I hope I can kick your ass back into “oh yeah!” Mode
You'd have a very sore foot! :d
You're probably in decent company as I remember uni students having to haul heavy textbooks around (thankfully I didn't when I was doing biology and the lecturer told us we could leave the whale bludgeoner at home and just use it for studying instead of lugging it to class every day). Yay for stuff mending :)
I kind of worry about some school kids as I've seen some of the crap they lug around (the ones that get iPads aren't too bad but some of them are lugging around laptops and while those are at least a lot lighter these days, they're still often being lugged with other books and school supplies and these are literal children we're talking about, sometimes the backpacks are almost the same size as the children).
Glad you worked out the breathing thing XD
Interesting publication, you talk about damage to your bones among others because of the excess weight you carried for a long time but you also propose that we should do our best to control our emotions and you are right.
I suffer from erosive gastritis as a result of spending hours without eating in my years of study, also from cervical and more recent blood pressure and the crises come to me for emotional reasons or stress.
The damage wasn't to the bones themselves but to the tendons and the positioning of the bones. For example the clavicle and the first rib being too close and pushing on nerves and arteries sometimes.
Have you tried massaging your stomach and breathing deep into it. Massaging your lower back with a tennis or lacrosse ball against a wall can help a lot too. That lacrosse ball saved my life!
I hope you feel better soon!
Yeah, I'm sure it'll have some affect on them, but I don't know how many people carried that thing like I did. I brought it with me on 2 hour strolls....fucking stupid hahaha
I am learning from my own experience, had shared about my health issues in few posts earlier. You said it right - listening to our body is the greatest beginning of healing.
I never heard this story of yours but it explains a lot about the you that I know. I love the adventurous side of this.
It also makes me wonder how much of an impact carrying a heavy schoolbag ( first couple of years of high school in one hand - not a back pack ) has had on my body as a tiny teenager.
Thanks for sharing this with us :<)
It's weird that we only start taking care of our health only after we've pushed ourselves close to the edge and from there we try to recover. The reason I say that I have put myself into a lot of shit too... carrying a backpack that weighed 5 kilo throughout my high school years, sleeping at odd hours, eating a lot of junk food and such. Though I'm recovering and my shoulders don't pain at all anymore, it just reminds me of what I have put myself through... I hope you stay well
Curated for #naturalmedicine by @drrune.
Such an important post! I remember being forced to move around with a backpack full of textbooks and tools, it was a practice that stayed with me for years, we take it for granted, just like we usually take our bodies for granted until we start seeing the consequences of abuse. Excellent contribution, man!
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