Still Learning!

So I have been pushing myself again, it’s not bloody easy making huge changes in life, as a single parent. The everyday things have been piling up, as I try and sort through all of our stuff. My sleep has been affected as well, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night and then not being able to go back to sleep, as my head is full of what I still need to do.

I know how important it is to just take one day at a time and I have been chipping away at things each day. But the last few days I have felt my energy levels drop again. Yesterday I started having a few tummy issues, so I slowed down a bit. Allowed myself to sit more often during the day.

But today I had to go into town, Thursday is market day and the best time to buy fruit and veg from local growers and as I am not growing anymore, I have had to buy in more veg. So the weekly market is the best time to do that. So after another night of poor sleep, I awoke feeling very drowsy, but determined.

Oh how My body, wanted me to stay in bed, but I also had to drop my eldest daughter off for some English lessons with a friend, plus I needed to pick up some boxes. So many reasons for me to get up out of my bed, not to mention, making breakfast for my girls.

But wow, was I grumpy. Everything felt like such a huge effort and on top of it all we were running late, making our way into town. My youngest totally felt into how I was feeling, so she began to get upset, which really made me feel even worse.

But I had things to do and we had made it this far, i.e walking into town. One positive thing, is that me and my girls got to help a dog in need. I usually carry some dog food with me, as there are a lot of stray dogs around, plus dogs that are not cared for properly, so I carry food that I can give them. Today we met a dog, that we know, he has a home, put the owners don’t seem to feed him enough, so we do whenever he is out and about.

Then it was into town. First stop, was to the bank machine, to get some money out. Which didn’t happen as the machine swallowed my card. What a sign that I was just not meant to be there. So in I go to explain what happened, only to be told I had to sho my i.d. Which I did not have of course, I even picked up the felt purse it was in before I left, but decided not to take it.

At this stage I felt very deflated and asked if there was anyway it could be returned to me, without I.D. The gentlemen I was dealing with gave me a hard no, then I got upset pointing out that it meant walk g home and back again with two of my. Keep dis in toe. Just I was leaving, I heard a women’s voice say “ wait”! She then walked up to me with my card in hand. I could not thank her enough.

I was so relieved. I got to the market and got my fruit and veg and then collected the boxes. All the while, feeling pretty exhausted, with my stomach making way too much noise. Luckily we got a lift back and I had to put myself to bed, when I finally got inside. So packing, is now on hold, until I regain my strength and feel better.

I have been doing really well in listening to my body these last few months, but as l said at the beginning, it’s not bloody easy making huge changes, when you also have to parent on your own. So yes I slipped up, but I am not goi g to be so hard on myself. I’m going to surrender and just rest for the next couple of days, well, as much as my life allows me too.