Reflections on Online Gossips: We Become What We Feed To Ourselves

I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic? - Toxic by Britney Spears

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I hit like on a gossip post earlier involving celebrities here in the Philippines. Facebook noticed how I am invested in such and then later on feed me some other suggestions to the said story and even other peoples trash.

The rabbit hole to where I fall is deep, but honestly, I am digging more into that. I subscribed to it and when I am done with my researching I turn my swivel chair in front of April.

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I have a latest scoop from our favorite celebrity this week straight from the source, FB verified account. These words I uttered in a jiggly tone, as if I am saying I love you to her. Maybe it is now my love language? I do not know. Hopefully, it isn't.

We talked, exchanged our opinions and discussed, but after a few minutes, I stopped and ask myself. Why am I invested?

Maybe it was fun? But why it is fun? Is it fun to talk about the dirty laundry of other people celebrity or not? Is it enough to fuel my energy and boost my day?

I do not have any answer.

Aside from such, during work hours I play episodes of Raffy Tulfo in Youtube this is almost the same as Maury in the US or at times Jerry Springer Show as well. The hate thrown by every guest makes my blood boil, thus keeping me awake. But it makes me irritable too!

I need to be awake, and those guilty pleasures are my easy fix to everything.

Who wants to do a stretch in the middle of the night or even try to do jumping jacks to make the blood running right?

The euphoria of seeing people hurt each other truly a bliss. It is bad, but I am loving it.

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Addicted?

Yes.

When you say YES to something, you say NO to something else.

The time that I had invested to researching could be used to some productive means. Probably write a blog, curate, read a book, complete some projects, learn additional skill sets, spend time with my daughter and wife, but I chose the other one. I took the more dangerous route because I live for the drama.

After noticing that it isn't healthy anymore for me. I immediately uninstall my social media accounts on my mobile device. Closed my Facebook browser and other accounts and just left my discord open.

Is it a harsh move?

No, it isn't. This doesn't make me feel good anymore. Back then, I long for connections to other people. I still do btw, but now I found some friends here (Hive) that I can interact with. I think I am not that missing out anything.

I am also becoming a worst person as easy judgement is being passed on to people to whom I know of. What they post, their lives and struggles, everything that can feed the negativity in me, I consume happily. It creeps me out on how I can easily say such words to them right now without even knowing the entire story. In reality I do not care, but I am invested. (The irony of thoughts).

Right now, I am enjoying the little peace that I have made for myself. I am not sure to when I can still keep this but I will try to be away for some time for my own sake.