I had a friend come over to the house some weeks back, she was 27 and looking for something that could lead to marriage. She was asking me if I'd like to have twins, and that they're adorable, I told her twins meant more expenses and if I could share a child with my male friends in other to cut costs, that I would, she looked at me with a weird face.
People think babies are cute, but the only thing those damn suckers know how to do is to cry, drink milk, and poop. They're not responsible for making money. Now back to my friend, I knew she had many suitors already but she was looking for a tall dark handsome man, with a broad chest and a charming smile. He probably has to be in his early 30s.
I didn't forget to add that she wanted an innovative man, one that could doesn't necessarily need to be rich, but his future probably needs to be bright, or at least, the guy needs to have a light at the end of his tunnel. I checked to see if I was half of what this lady wanted and I discovered I wasn't.
I wasn't tall, dark, or handsome, I was this lanky dude who doesn't even know what was up, I hardly smile unless you flash or tuck some currency into my pocket. I'm not sure if there's light at the end of my tunnel, I'm just happy to wake up, eat and hustle. The reality is, sometimes when it comes to marriage, people raise their standards to a confusing level. They want Mia Khalifa with the personality of Don Moen.
You'll hear things like "I want him to be a billionaire" but he must be at home making me breakfast and kissing my neck" it's ridiculous how a man can be a billionaire and a chef at the same time. I'm not a romantic person, maybe it's why I think it's stupid when people tell me the ridiculous things they want from the opposite sex.
A friend of mine was telling me he wants a girl with big buttocks (yansh), she must have a flat stomach, a fine, sweet face, and a smile that can cure cancer and she must be respectful, god-fearing and willing to make her own money and must love him to the core. I laughed so hard because I'd never heard anything so ridiculous.
I told him every girl with a massive derriere is on TikTok flashing their goodies. I mean the value men attach to buttocks is profound. Some men would say, boobs are what they want, and these conversations irk me so much it makes me feel like the value we attach to these things is why people spend money trying to enhance their bodies.
However, people have their fetish, and I'm categorically telling you that we cannot have everything we crave in one human being unless people are allowed to mold their partner with clay and breathe into them. The reason is, people are imperfect and unique in their way. The person with the big curves might be proud and a terrible cook. The tall handsome dude might be a cheat and golddigger.
These days I kind of feel people allow their physical enablements to define their personalities. This is to say, there are reasons we like and dislike people. Some people can hate the soul of a person but like their physical charm. Love is a sick bastard if it were a human being because people act irrationally especially when they're attracted to what they can see.
(I don't want to make this post an 18+, because that's not who I am and secondly 7 years olds are now on the blockchain). This isn't to say people shouldn't be attracted to things. What I think people do is want to eat their cake and have it. I've heard people say not all beautiful people are proud or disrespectful, but majorly 90% of them are. This is because they're used to people dying to have or please them.
I know a lady who used to come to my house during covid, she was pretty and elegant. So whenever she came she would expect me to open the door for her. I told her that if she cannot open the door, she can build a house by the door and wait. Men would always fall at her feet and do her bidding, but this wasn't me.
She was surprised at how her whims couldn't work with me. It was proof that beautiful people can get overly nasty and develop bad attitudes. So because of this, I'm not the spec type of guy, I won't want to be a slave to a curvy backside or a pointed trafficator. It's why people stay in toxic relationships, they say it's sweet and bitter at the same time.
I do believe people are weird. Some of the things we want are laughable especially when we begin to speak them loud. When I was younger, maybe 19 there was this lady who nearly turned me into her personal slave, how she took control of my life was inexplicable. I think it had to be love charm, yes it had to be... because no one should be that stupid. I imagined everything I did all because of physical attraction.
Anytime I remembered her face, I nearly gave away all my salary. But I'm not that guy anymore, I think there are people who are still slaves to physically attraction. It's funny how these people messes them up and they still go back and settle for those people they're not attracted to. Life can be a straight road, why turn it to Britain has got talent?
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This post really got me laughing 🤣🤣🤣 that I had to confirm if it was @josediccus that published it. But the truth be told sometimes I always see some ladies that they really don't know what they want in a guy though it is vice versa as well. We can never please everyone likewise we can never see a perfect person that we desire to have which is what is expected to experience in this life.
Hahaha lool na me post am live and direct. I do comedy open mic once in a while hahaha. There are no perfect people in life, I guess it goes for both genders, some people don't know if it's the front one they want or the back one, or good character.
Well men are attracted to what they see lol which is left for them to choose.
Hmm I'm very proud of you Jose, seeing that you are not one to look at the physical appearance is really interesting but then sometimes it's not so easy. So many guys and even married men have fallen so deeply into these type of things and it's really so annoying when I see them around.
I'm very sure that lady who came to your house and always wait for you to get the door for her thought you were going to fall for her charms, lolz, little did she know that she was almost looking like a guy in your eyes, lolz.
I think inasmuch as attraction leads to something deeper. Some people too dey overdo. It's either it's big back or big front or finance face. A Christian sister with Nikki Minaj vibes. Or tall man with teddy and red car. Our generation is confused.
As for the lady, I just don't like it when people use their looks to take advantage of others it's damn crazy.
You're absolutely right, it's just too much sometimes and the worst part is the things we so wish others have, we don't even ha half of it, you can imagine, just super annoying 😏.
I feel ashame when I'm around such ladies trying to flont their beauty before a guy, lolz.
Truth be told, men are always attracted by what they see, it's just some disciplined ones that behave themselves.
Ladies, the more too. People are not out to decide themselves.
Yes you are Absolutely right, we ladies don't make it easy for them at all and it's the reason why we are more victims of rape, hmm, it is well.
Exactly, we can't find a perfect partner as we are also not perfect ourselves, the most beautiful lady can have the nastiest of character while the less attractive one might have the best character that us why there us a common saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Hahaha camera and editing makes it easy to appear or look good these days. Plus, I'm just average height, nothing to get excited of, but whatever way I'm made, I'm loving it and appreciative of it.
There are people we might deem perfect, but at the end of the day, they are just really good at hiding their character and personality. One needs discipline in the face of attraction
Nah, you look good bro, Average is cool too and I'm glad you appreciate yourself.
Little do they know that character and personality cannot hide for long, discipline is sure the best way to go.
Well, to think of it, it's not really nice to go overboard with looks and all, I think moderation and being minimal is good hahaha so well.... I appreciate me.
Jo, whyyyyyy? Do you have a personal vendetta again children?🤣 Personally, i want triplets!
I honestly am not innocent in all of the points you've raised here. I used to like them tall, handsome, and light-skinned with pink lips, beards, and chiseled abs. Well, this was until I met a guy who ticked all the physical appearance boxes but had nothing more to offer. He was rude, arrogant, and very nasty. Since then, I have learned to look beyond physical appearances.
I partially helped my aunt to raise her kid, it was a painful experience, one I didn't enjoy and the boy drove me crazy..
Well and that's because of the looks. Hot commodities are always wanted by everyone, so this actually makes them arrogant to a fault. It's in their nature to behave the way they did and this is something that I decided a long time never to tolerate.
I can imagine. I have a babysitting appointment over the weekend, and I'm already worked up!
I'm never tolerating it too. It was baddddddd!
It is so true. Many people fall into toxic relationships because of physical appearance… and the girls most are in a toxic relationship with rich guys and handsome guys.
If we wait for the perfect opposite sex, we are probably going to wait for a long time (or wait forever).
Funny, how some people don’t want to leave those toxic relationship because they don’t want to get insult from friends or some just basically want to be among.
Thankfully, you have experienced it and you have seen how stupid it was (no offence tho.) now, no one can fool you.
Plus, babies are actually cute.😂😂 (It is just like having a pet, they are always annoying and they destroy but they are still cute.. and we still love them)
Toxicity can be gruesome and sincerely, I think no one deserves that. But due to what some people seem to enjoy they rather put up with that toxicity at the expense of their mental health
Hell, no! You exactly painted it the way it should be and I'm totally glad that I left that, it was killing.
However I think people gets wiser with the experiences they have and had and it gets to a particular time we just settle for peace and calm.
Hell no!, They're cute but troublesome and tiring, I value my peace and mental health hahaha.
Wow! So interesting, would I say, "comedy or a wise thought" because some of the things you said, are the things that comes out in a relationship, and even till today, some people do not know, what they are doing, if their partner are turning them into a slave or not.
Not everyone wants to be treated that way, some guy's do not want to be slave, likewise the lady's, who find themselves in this kind of relationship.
Everyone deserves Respect, no matter our curves or styles we have.
I think respect would make a happy relationship.
Well it was comedy because I decided to make it so, when it's probably a satarical representation of what's happening in our society by all means. Like you said, everyone deserves to be respected irrespective of who and what they actually are. It's what's happening in a lot of relationships at the moment and it's saddening because people would not learn, I tell you.
That part killed me of laught!!!
i dont wants childs before my 30's or more...
Well that's a personal resolution, but I think raising kids can be draining.
You speak the absolute truth in this post and I completely I agree with you, physical attraction can enslave the mind and most people are falling for it daily. But bwezz is very important 😜
Well some people don't mind being enslaved, provided they'll get to fix feast their eyes, sometimes personal enslavement is an intentional choice we make.
Intentional thoughts that can be ruinous
Na people dey complicate things for themselves. Sometimes, I hear people most especially ladies saying they want a guy who already has a house and cars and is tall, well I was in this category before until I knew my worth 😅😅
The truth is, if ladies are allowed to mould the kind of men they want, clay would get exhausted before it reaches the next person.
Now, it made me wonder and ask are they also fit in such specifications? Because just as they are wanting this and that in a man, what can they offer too?
If you observe well, na lazy lady dey want such luxurious life and wouldn't want to do anything. 😂😂
One of the reasons why I don't raise my expectations is because I know I'm not perfect. I have issues, what if the tables were turned and I'm the one no one wants to accept? People don't exactly measure their worth rightly.
What it they're not the specifications that they're also looking for? A lot of people want what they're not. I'm happy for you though. Hahaha
That is it? They do not measure their worth in the right way and if you tell them the truth, they are not ready to make the sacrifice to be what others want in them. They are only selfish; let me use that word.
Okay, let me chip in this question since I only get to interact with you here.
I have been trying to interact in the Leofinance community through the leofinance.io using my mobile but anytime I post or comment, it says invalid token role or something like that. I don't know what the problem might be. Do you have any idea about that? I am only using my system and for how long? Especially when I am out and need to use my phone. Pls, any help? I will be glad.
The Leofinance app is having issues for the past one month now, it hardly responds smoothly. Use the web version till khal and the team updates it. For now everyone uses the web version.
Yea, I know the app is having issues but the web isn't working on my phone. I use chrome 😔
It's currently working now
I will try again. Thank you.
The truth is all of these things are just part of our wants as humans. Normally, we are insatiable, and most of us know this but, we still tend to make our lips clap in sync with our fantasies. The reality Is, what if life serves this person that desires a tall man a short man that is perfect for her?
we go just dey find perfect for this imperfect world as per imperfect beings wey we be
I think it's influence. Normally no one will deny being attracted to looks but we just have to curtail it to simply match the things that are going to be valuable in our lives. We ourselves needs that control and discipline as looks ain't everything.
😂😂😂😂I'm here for the violence 😂😂. I think the beautiful goes with guys too, some guys can be so obsessive about their looks, fair guys especially!😂😂😂😂.
😂😂 touche
Her: knocks
You: Yes, come in. It's open
Her: I'm waiting for you to come open the door for me
😂🤣🤣, I can't imagine. My gender is simply amazing 🥰😂
Na wah o, see the life we're living. What do people gain from all these in the first place. I mean we all bleed the same, have the same gut and intestines, it's crazy.
You should be a script writer, you Sabi how to imagine and coin these scenarios so well hahaha. Omo, Nollywood. But seriously, looks shouldn't be an added advantage, it's unfair.
Shuooo vawulence everywhere for this post against fine girls 😂
Thank God say I nor too fine 🤣
This cracked me up big time, I mean how can a smile cure cancer no matter how good the person's face looks when she smiles?
Well, I understand your point of view on this and I actually agree with you. Fine girls have some pride attached to their beauty thanks to the too much value some guys do add to them.
I would never had imagined you in this situation, thank goodness you're out of it
This is to show you that what some people want, even o cartoon or animation it still cannot be possible. We too dey fall for specs, body type, big this, big that.
I'm glad you agree because to see an extremely fine humble girl in this our country hahaha, it must take the grave of God and that's because of the importance that guys attach to these looks.
Ahhh I was in that situation ohhh like a mumu for many many months 🤣🤣🤣
Lol... Too bad!
What is this world turning into? This question is becoming an adage saying 😅
Interesting, did she tell her reasons for that? I know a lot of ladies would wish for that if they wish to have 2 kids. It's better to go through the experience once especially the 9month journey. But of course, one has to be emotionally and financially ready.
He sounds like he was ordering a lady that is yet to be created. Well if all these preferences are meant to complement what he already has meaning he wants a flat tummy to complement his toned Abs, and a butt to complement his toned arms and lower back then good God him.
God-fearing and willing to make her money sound reasonable, she can still not be working but is willing to hustle.
Sounds like someone who has gender role expectations. some guys are just conditioned to do that without putting much thought into it or seeing it as being used or a slave.
Was she always asking if you are walking together? It is a kind gesture to open and hold the door for anyone if you get to the door first. But if you are just walking together and both of you get to the door, I think that's a personal preference for a guy to open the door and hold for the lady he is walking with. If you're dating her or are interested in her, it makes you stand out but anyone can set their own limits and that's still fine.
Love is a sick bastard, totally agreed and people will still fall for it... Sick!
Well, I guess it's actually in our nature hahaha.
You've said it all brother. This is exactly what is happening in this generation. Many had fallen victim and become slaves and product of toxic relationships. Most relationships and marriages today is built on fantasy and that's the more reason the rate of divorce today is much more alarming than ever.
The idea that most beautiful ladies today are proud is not far from the truth and guys or men are the cause of this predicament. Many men would even go as far as claiming what they are not just to woe that beautiful lady even if she's the simple type. Many today are living fake lives to measure up to the standard required by the opposite sex either by hook or crook and it's a pity that most of these beautiful ladies prefer deceit to a realistic guy or man.
Love shouldn't be primarily based of the man or woman physiques but on godliness and character, then other aspect can be looked into. Your physiques will put food on the table or make a better home but your character will. Since men are moved by what they they see, it's height time we look more into the core things such as virtues and character. We can't deny the fact that beauty is among the requirement but more of reality and less of fantasy will help in this regard.
Great post👍 and thank you for this wonderful piece @josediccus
I liked translating your post, it has been a moment of pleasant reading. Very realistic your appreciation of what people expect from each other. The worst thing is that there are many old toads and owls with expectations that do not even remotely correspond to what they are. This is the world.
Best regards.
Keep hustling, and keep your head this clear, and there will surely be light at the end of your tunnel.