I have forgotten many things in life including my childhood memories, I don't know why but I keep forgetting almost everything. For example, in the morning I was trying to find my eyeglasses and I didn't find it. Even I kept searching at the place where I thought I kept the glass but later after 10 hours, I found the glass on the chair. This is just an example, many small things are happening with me lately. I guess I am getting old or I am not focused. I keep forgetting things, it seems like my memory is being erased. I can't remember the phone number or the names of many people, which embarrassed me in different circumstances.
The work I do is boring and stressful. Every day some incidents happen and make me sick. I feel disgusted but thinking about some terms and conditions, I am silently doing my work until my probation period ends. Today my dearest naughty girl destroyed everything in the room. She was bored so she chewed whatever she got in front of her and then she ate tomato sauce on my bed which left a large stain on the bed. After returning home from work, and witnessing Gigi's naughtiness, I didn't know what to do. Finally, I have finished everything and decided to write this post.
There is a huge difference between living at the home and living in a temporary place. Nothing can be compared to the home because home is home. Home means safety comfort and stability. And in temporary shelter, I always have to be prepared to move to another place. I can't unpack anything properly, I can't buy anything extra and there is no privacy and comfort in the temporary shelter. My refugee situation sometimes reminds me of how helpless I am, I cannot rent an apartment and I don't have a home. I have to accept what I am being offered.
Every morning and night I think that I wish I could go to my home and sleep on my bed. I stopped reading the news about Ukraine because it gives me stress. Most people nowadays think that I am doing great because I have a job and I moved to a nice country. I stopped explaining to people my condition. Even I stopped unnecessary interaction with the people. People will never understand my psychology and what I am going through. I have said before money, job is not everything in life, I have lost 6 years of my life. I have lost precious time of my life which will never come back. This is the 3rd time I am struggling in life, and the challenges are getting more intense each time.
Today is Wednesday so I decided to give you a short tour of my last summer in Kharkiv, Ukraine. Lavender blooms mostly in July and stays only for a month. I was lucky to experience the beauty of thousands of lavender. This is one of the moments in life which I will adore always...
Summer cottages near the river or the lake are always my favorite place for relaxation. Baden Baden was such a place that offered me a calm and comfortable time in life. In the Netherlands, there are a lot of locations like Baden Baden but the time I have spent near Lozovenka River can never be compared with other locations.
A similar story I can say about Costa Brava, a resort that was located near Donets river. I have enjoyed the best sunset in life there.
It took me 6 years to sit down like this near the river, the beginning journey in Ukraine was never been easy for me, it was hard. But I was able to adjust there, built my life, and now here I am, ended up with nothing...
Another moment in one of the villages in Kharkiv...
I am not trying to seek any kind of attention nor I am trying to gather some sympathy by this post. I don't want anything from anybody.
As I have said, nothing in this world can't give me peace or calm me down until I myself calm down. I don't compare my life with others because I know many people are in worst situations than me.
I have a bad habit, I keep holding my feelings inside me.
Thanks for reading my blog, see you around...
Love
Priyan
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I am @priyanarc... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily...
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It's a shame that Gigi is so naughty, the poor thing will be very bored. At least he must be in better health.
I worked for more than thirty years and in the end I lost everything, I have an idea of the situation, it is difficult to start after preparing and working so hard to have nothing at the end. It is life, but we have to continue, there is no other way, find strength where there is none and continue.
30 years!!! I wonder how you managed yourself again? I really wanna know...
Well, Gigi gets bored easily because she is an outdoor dog and 8 hours is a really long time for her...Her health is better now...
I was planning to have my own workshop and work on my own, but my left arm is injured in the end and I can't do much. So I'm working on the internet, and starting over, even at this age.
I am so sorry and I completely understand the situation. Yes, you were right, something our life plays with us and unfortunate things happen. We lose everything but again we, humans start building our life again...
Yes, that's how it is. Life hits us in the face without any consideration, it leaves us with nothing at the worst moment. We can complain, we are people. But we have to move on.
То Ви українка😂. Бідний Харків зараз...
Я переселенець, який раніше жив у Харкові... Не розумію, що означають ваші смішні емодзі?
Це означає, що приємно. Може у Вас вони якось відображаються не так. Тоді вибачте.
Емоджі виглядає так, я ділюся зображенням. Ось чому я запитав, тому що зазвичай ми використовуємо ці емодзі, коли знаходимо щось смішне...
Зрозумів.
Sorry for the early misunderstanding...
Everything is good!
Dear friend. I understand you perfectly, although I have not lived through a war, I have lived through a not easy situation in my country for 23 years and everything keeps getting worse, much of what happens to you happens to me, lately I forget things a lot, I have no courage, I don't leave the house, I have many anxious problems. Even so, at least I have my husband, daughter and kitty by my side and that comforts me somewhat.
It is good that you express what you feel, I like you I keep everything to myself and that is not good in the long run.
I know it may not help you much, but there are wonderful people here who can support you even with a warm word, sometimes we need it and that comforts us.
I pray to God that your situation improves, that you can feel good, be happy and fulfill your dreams. May God reach out to all mankind, we need it.
Your little furry one is a little naughty like mine, but they accompany us and make us happy.
I hug you with my soul. Many blessings to you @priyanarc ❤️🌹💋
I also have anxiety issues and I think a lot. Sometimes I overthink and I become insane. I hardly recognize myself and I completely cut off myself from the outside. Probably, a part of me loves to stay shady and dark. I don't know...
It does but, to be honest, there are some things I can't write because they are too personal. Those things eat me inside. I know I should only focus on myself and shouldn't look around but I can't control it... Probably when I am ready I will write about it.
Gigi is a beautiful dog, just naughty :D Hahaha... Yes our furry companion always makes us happy....
@priyanarc 🌹💕🌈🐦
Yay! 🤗
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Been away from home for more than four years .. Now I missed it so much..
Life can be bitch sometimes...
Greetings my friend @priyanarc, Wow how naughty Gigi! sometimes my dog Panela does some mischief at home, she is also a free soul and sometimes the confinement annoys her, but she adapts well to the places just sometimes she has days of much stress as well as us, meanwhile friend we must enjoy the beautiful because the truth is that life is more sadness than joy, although many siren songs sound. Blessings to you friend
Gigi stays in a confined place so easily she gets bored. I don't blame her to be honest but sometimes it annoys me when I come back home and see the mess. I don't get angry with her but thinking of extra work pisses me off.
I don't know for how long I have to deal with such life conditions but it is what it is...
Yes my friend, it's hard, that's why I think you and Gigi are very brave, you have lived through a lot of hard things, you just have to breathe and go on, you are brave.