Interaction focused

in Self Improvement3 years ago

I had an interesting afternoon today, at work I mean. I won't go into the full details but in a nutshell I had to deliver collective attitude adjustments to my team, as a whole, nudge them in a direction different to the one they were taking and to set some goals.

It went well; I've worked hard with my team to create an attitude that takes constructive criticism well, responds maturely to my occasional attitude-shifting-meetings and that simply take the new paradigm and move on. It's not luck, just something all good leaders should be doing.

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When conducting these meetings I take into account the types of people I have in the room; Not just if they are male or female but also their ages, experience, longevity in the company, job-function and individual personality profiles. Again, any good leader will know his or her team in this way.

What I seek in all interactions, and especially ones that need to be approached delicately, is to begin with the end-goal in mind; Namely, clearly expressing my requirements and directions, to keep them focused. I use a simple process.


  • Describe the situation (I call them opportunities) clearly and objectively. I'm careful to keep it facts-based and free from interpretation or opinion, even though I may have a strong one. I do this to get the team all on the same page from the outset.
  • Letting them know the results, ramifications or impacts of the situation is next. Today it was strictly business-related, but if using this technique in a personal situation it might be something like, "I feel___ because ___." A more feelings-based scenario. At work it's business-oriented but, occasionally in one-on-one scenarios, it might be a little more about the latter. Feelings.
  • I never skirt the subject, I'm direct, specific and very clear. This isn't done in an aggressive manner, just assertively and focussing on the situation, the objective, is important.
  • This is all done in conversation - I don't hold court like a king, rather, I encourage others to interact, wait patiently for them to get a point or excuses across. It's important to reinforce the desired outcome but reward those contributing to it. Nodding approval, genuine smiles and saying, "thank you, nice work," go a long way here. It's amazing how responsive to reward team-members can be. They sit straighter, feel more validated and valued and are often more inclined to contribute further. It helps me get them driving more directly and the goals.
  • Along the way I work to remain focused and not to forget the objective or outcome I have pre-determined. Getting off-topic and heading on tangents can lengthen the process and be frustrating for all; Again, it's about the facts, the issue, not the person or people.
  • Body language and posture is always open and relaxed. No crossed arms, wild hand or arm gestures and good eye contact with an even tone of voice wins the day. I also maintain a degree of confidence, not arrogance; I'm the leader after all and they look to me for direction.
  • This last is vitally important I think, for me at least, that is, I show flexibility and am open to negotiation and alternatives. Being inflexible can cause walls to form and make people feel like they're being dictated to which can be deflating; It's not the military after all. I prefer to empower my team and help them reach solutions themselves - That way they feel more invested in the outcomes and interested in deploying the strategies to reach our goals. No one can win all the time and in these work situations I don't attempt to.

The process I've described above isn't the only way to reach the desired outcome but is one that I've used for a long time to good effect; It brings people on-board rather than making them feel like passengers. It allows people to feel invested in the processes and outcomes and that means they work harder at them and more happily.

That was my afternoon, interesting considering the scenarios we were discussing, but very productive. It will all move forward effectively, the team will feel like one, a team, and will have the opportunity to excel and shine, for which I'll reward them.

This scenario, the process above, could be adapted for any interaction a person has be it their child, partner, boss, friend, family member...Anyone really. They are simple steps and will probably bring a lot more value to the interaction than some other possible techniques. Ranting and raving has it's place I guess, but there's alternatives.

So, what's your thoughts and how do you approach interactions like this at work or in your social life? It's inevitable there'll be difficult or awkward interactions in a person's life and dealing with them effectively is important. How do you do it?


Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.

Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209

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I have similar meetings at work but mine differ in that I sit there with a leather strap soaking in apple cider vinegar and when I hear nonsense from the team that I cannot stand I take the strap out and leather them.

Sometimes the only way these dogs will learn is through a good vinegar strapping!

Can't argue with results.

Especially stingy vingeray results! :OD

You think I am being too kind these days and should resort to my old methods? Not quite the same as yours, more Gunny Sargent Hartman out of the movie Full Metal Jacket.

I think maybe I'm getting a little softer in my old age, but maybe, *just maybe, *I'll bring my cat-o-nine-tails to the office tomorrow, lay about with it, flail some skin, and see how I feel about reverting to the tried and proven motivational methods. 😊

I kind of like the flogging method, especially if wet with vinegar like @meesterboom employs...😎 Self-flagellation is very satisfying as well; on occasion and serves as a great self-motivating tool.

My office building has a self-flagellation room to accommodate for those who prefer that motivational method. Only on their lunch breaks of course. Self-flagellation on company time is verboten. Several arrive an hour early in the morning to get their motivational time out the way before they begin their soul-sucking and demeaning work day.

Another day, another fifty cents after tax.

Verboten :OD

!ENGAGE 30 !

I stole your legit word.

Mr Stealer!!

It's a great one isn't it? I live throwing it in there

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My office building has a self-flagellation room to accommodate for those who prefer that motivational method.

Hopefully, in the nude...!!! 🤗😇

Naturally, there's a sign on the door and no one is game to break the rules.

"Naturally"... Such an organic solution for unveiling truth behind the body of tardy souls...

"Naturally"... Such an organic solution for unveiling truth behind the body of tardy souls...

Naughty naughty! lol! :D

HAHAHAH! Bring in the cat-o-nine-tails and tell them Today, we are gonna try something a little different!!

It'll be team-building. I'll make sure to make them late for their lunch breaks for it too. Hammer home the point that they don't matter.

#mostproductiveteam

A team that truly believes they dont matter and are little more than an overpaid inconvenience is a happy team!

Aye, as evidenced at just about every workplace ever.

A wise man, the owner of a company that rhymes with Shmamazon, once said:

Destroy the hopes, dreams and aspirations of your team and their self-esteem and respect shall plummet. This, then, is the platform to success, and getting rich. A disgruntled and dismayed workforce is a productive workforce.

A quote to live by.
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He may not have actually said this, how can we know? We're not with him 24/7!

I like to quietly let resentment slowly build unaddressed, in both parties; until the resulting meltdown is explosive, emotional, unproductive and destroys any possibility of finding common ground, or even existing in the same room in future.

Sounds like a good plan which many companies are probably employing. No wonder customer service is so good at the moment; Staff paying forward the treatment they get. Good plan, I need to adjust my strategy.

The trick is pre-emptive character assassination. Muddy the waters so anyone with self-respect can be painted as unreasonable.
Terrible for the business, but it prevents anyone promising from usurping my position.

Nobody stagnates in a rut of mediocrity like me; and if they try, I'm pretty sure they've been stealing stationary.

Lol...Stationery-stealers...All those Bic pens and Spirax notepads, that were smuggled out down someone's pants, hitting eBay causing a glut on the market. Best to trickle feed the supply. Like meth.

Ah yes, I see...Lay the foundation of character-assasination early on and set a standard of woe and despair.

Check ✅

I definitely agree; the key to dealing with my team is being conscious and aware of each member's personality type. That alpha ego garbage that others exhibit here at my place of work is just that; garbage. That type of leadership is predicated on generating fear in the working place, and is not effective, in my opinion.

This is some good advice for leaders and future leaders - you should consider writing a book!

Thank you mate, I appreciate your kind words.

I used to operate in an environment where people were told what to do and the implications of not doing it were dire, that sort of thing has its place of course, but that place is not in an office. Don't get me wrong, I'm not into molly-coddling people and I have high expectations; A by-product of having the same for myself.

My style is to lead from the front, set a good example of effort and hard work and of working efficiently and with strategy. I am lavish with praise (when it's due), work hard to encourage active-participation and to promote the team environment, difficult as it is at times.

I provide a lot of support but never remove responsibility and make sure accolades go to those who deserve them...I'm not that leader who takes accolades that deserve to go to the team or another individual. The Directors know what I do, so allowing the team to take the credit is in fact taking credit myself, without taking the credit. - I hope that makes sense.

Being a good leader is a very difficult task as evidenced by the many bad ones out there. I'm pretty good at it I guess, through concepts like this, my hard work, ability to learn and soak up information and my humble nature and lack of ego.

Alfa-ego-garbage...Yeah, I'll leave that for those with low self-esteem.

Thanks for you comment mate, and I have to say, if all else fails, there's some nice motivational suggestions in the comments of this post...Whipping features prominently. I'm not sure what that says about us all...Good humour or sick and twisted? Lol.

HIVE!D

Great Article!
definitly different leadership styles... your way sounds effective and potent... I just roll over stuff!
HIVE!ON

I don't think there's anything more enjoyable than crushing stuff with a tank. I'll tell you, we've had some pretty solid human resource ideas in response to this post. Tanks...Great plan!

The shot got my attention, and then what you talked about made me stay.

In most cases I get driven a lot by emotions, I stay away from a lot of from people either at work on even in my social life, because I tend to undermine their opinions (because in most cases I don't give a fuck); so I'd rather be clear on that from the get go and get a lot of hate for that.

For some weird reason I prefer people that are straight-forward as I know how to deal with them better.

I also see people coming a mile away with their true intentions, they sometimes not even aware of it yet, and it makes for funny situations.

I'm probably too direct to be honest, it's my nature, but at work it's not something I can do really, not these days. I'd stay away from people at work too I guess, but I don't have the luxury to do that unfortunately...It wouldn't work very week for my role...If only they knew how un-peopley I really am.

Thanks for stopping by. :)

If only they knew how un-peopley I really am

Today i dodged the bullet, dropped the kids and wife at the lake and went back home to do some work. It was FULL SILENCE...Beautiful...

I really enjoyed working from home last year because of the pandemic. March to October it was, and not having to see office people was good. I was pretty productive too.

The office is a strange scenario where so many different people that may normally never get along are forced to do so. Weird.

Dodging a bullet is always a good idea...Seems like you turned to your advantage. ✅

I've done 2 years in 2018 and 2019 earning on the blockchain only, and joined a "real" company in 2020 for almost a year, right in the beginning of the pandemic. It was from home and it allowed people not to get caught too much in the politics of working in an office. It was for a video game so everyone was quite relaxed, but I came to the realisation I just don't function in a work related environment. Good on you for all the interactions you created on your post.

I think the pandemic has opened a lot of opportunity for companies and employees alike as working from home has been a viable option. I.e. still productive, and much cheaper to facilitate.

I think there is a reason everyone wants to press that reset button, we have indeed been propelled into a new life!

I have no doubt that you are a great leader and I personally think that this role is one of the hardest. I am more of a lonely wolf so I think my leader skills need a bit more refining. Either way I admire somebody who can make lots of people come together under the same umbrella. It's not easy
!ENGAGE 10

Some lead and some follow...In a job like mine, the role that I perform, following isn't possible...I guess I'd not have the role if I wasn't capable of doing it though right? Neither one is better than the other, they are different things and a workplace needs both to function correctly...Too many leaders or too many followers and problems arise.

I go ok, but make mistakes too. The difference is that I own them when they happen.

I hope you're well, been keeping well I mean.

You're good at owning stuff, it shows maturity. I have been doing alright, with ups and downs. Mostly I am very happy that I am healthy, this is what matters the most for me

Being healthy is a good state to be in.

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I love this photo! Its really well taken!

Thank you, I appreciate you saying so. 🙂