Happy weekend everyone, hopefully you have something exciting planned and you've got some good weather wherever you may be.
The topics this week I found rather difficult to decide on, but settled on a controversial one just for the pure fuck of it. I think that there are so many ways that you can interpret this topic. Apart from the obvious which revolves around sex, people can love, lust and desire a whole range of things: power, money, fame, notoriety, admiration, respect and so on.
But can you draw definitive lines between each of them like I have done so in the description of my post? As with so many things in life, each person may have a completely different interpretation or experience of each of them, similar to asking what defines a good person vs a bad person.
I'll be sharing my personal opinions here which you may disagree with. That's perfectly fine.
Can you love in different ways or to varying degrees? The sibling love that you feel for your brother, is not the same type of love that you may have for your partner as the relationship you share with them is not the same. Do people really "love" these days or is that just an illusionary concept that we've been fed by Hollywood or romance novels? This is entirely a personal question which each of us may answer differently.
What about people that 'love' attention and get addicted to fame? Often this is intertwined with other things like a desire for power or lusting after people's adoration to stroke their egos more than actually "loving" anything, I think this comes from a deep seated place of lack, a void that people are trying to fill. They love the high they receive on a chemical level, when the pleasure centres of their brain are activated. I don't think that's really 'loving' something or someone as I believe that the old fashioned sense of the word should imply that you love someone based on shared values, common goals, that you feel you can share with that person - time, energy, experiences, points of view. It's also not entirely about that "In Love" feeling of euphoria (referred to as the Honeymood Period which I personally think is a terrible descriptor) as that often fades with time and then grows into a much deeper, richer and stronger bond. Some people get addicted to that euphoric feeling more than feeling lasting love for the person that fuels that. I think this has to do with how attention spans have decreased and those kinds of people are looking for quick excitement more than anything of substance.
Loving someone also doesn't mean putting them on a pedestal, it means accepting that person for who they are, inclusive of their history, quirks, differences, ideological frame of mind etc., and not what you imagine them to be in the "ideal world". Accepting that they are flawed people - we all are - and that each of us is going to have ups and downs in life, we are going to make mistakes, fail sometimes, achieve sometimes and an array of other things. I think that people should be able to accept that when we fuck up (and we all fuck up in different ways along the line), if we are willing and able to acknowledge, own and accept our flaws and mistakes, make ammends, apologize (and sincerely mean it) or discuss things and iron out the misunderstandings or miscommunications, change our behaviours and make a concerted effort to do or be better going forward, then it shouldn't be a score keeping exercise. I think that thwarts the ability to grow and move forward on a personal level as well as in a union of whatever nature that may be - friendship/partnership/relationship etc.
I also don't believe that you can love someone out of obligation. It needs to be freely given and reciprocated without having unrealistic expectations.
The word love seems to have lost a lot of its meaning and even I am guilty of just throwing it around like "I love long roadtrips","I love nature", "I love that song". Perhaps this is as good a time as any to evaluate my usage of the word.
Lust and Desire I think are more similar in nature to each other. People lust after fast sports cars, the perfect trophy wife or husband, the Oscar awards (certain deities only understand why, I personally can't), a house with a picket fence or a mansion. These are all material things, again this is more about image than anything on a deeper level. What is lust fueled by though? On a biological level I think again, lust and desire are both fueled by our biological need for species preservation and "survival of the fittest" that dates back to the earliest days when survival rates were far lower and longevity was much shorter. What is today all about image was once about competing for resources. Having to be a faster and better hunter, provider and protector than the next group of people when the sabre tooth tiger or velociraptor was on the prowl. That was a joke, I know that humans weren't around at that time, but if ever we needed to be better and faster, it was back then.
We've come a long way since then, the dynamics have changed, society is still ever changing and yet our primal nature still underlies the natural laws we have developed and come to accept.
To close, I think there's a fascinating relationship between the three as they can work entirely distinctly from each other or come together in a harmonious melody similar to a bass line accompanied by electric guitar riffs and drum beats. It depends on the circumstances and the people involved. With a friend, you probably love them purely platonically. With your partner, you would probably have a combination of all three.
As always, just my thoughts here and I'm sure that some people will have differing opinions. More than happy to open it up for debate in the comments.
Very good post, and thought provoking. I've thought about the use of words and the complete de-valuation of them, I'm guilty of it as is everyone, I've been called out by people before for saying, "oh, I haven't heard from, whoever, in ages." Or "I love (insert thing I mildly like here.)"
Only to have someone do a bit of brow beating by saying. "Ages? As in centuries?" Or something along those lines. I get it, yeah we should all just say the appropriate language to describe it. But, in a way, we're the generations raised on sensationalism and hyper-media, if something isn't extream, it's boring. We need exciting speech, otherwise who would listen.
Also, about lust, I think it comes down to modern society. Years ago, people lived in small communities, the average person would only ever get 5km away from where they were born, now, we have access to the entire world, which is good, but we're hairless apes, and are ruled by our own enjoyment. We indulge ourselves in everything we can get - drink, sex, cigarettes, drugs, sugar, caffine, food in general, shopping - for our bodies, then use our super computer brains to justify our actions. !LOLZ
I watched a great video where George Lucas was talking with a college class about a bit of his life, but he ended it by talking about the difference between pleasure and joy.
"Pleasure is purely selfish and greedy in a way. It's all about my pleasure. The peak with pleasure is very high, but it goes away fast. Buy a car, you're at the top, if you buy another one you don't peak as high so need to buy more, kind of like drugs. Joy on the other hand is long lasting, without an extream peak, but you can share it with others, and take joy in others happiness and recall it whenever we want. They're both great, but don't chase pleasure, because you'll never maintain the high." - that's a rough quote of his, off the top of my head, it's the general jist.
It's 11 minutes long, well worth watching ^
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George Lucas - what a fucking legend!
This was a very good video and he's outlined it perfectly. As you say, modern society is to blame and the technocratic industry that is pushing addictive behaviour.
We all overexaggerate and use hyperbole. After we had this discussion, I went and changed my bio as even there I used "love" incorrectly.
That's a very interesting distinction that pleasure is self centred and joy is about giving to someone else. Surely you can feel joy at giving someone else pleasure? Does that even make sense? More things for me to ponder.
By the way, who's your fave character in the Mandalorian series? I'm a slight bit obsessed with The Armourer. Not in a romantic way, but as in if I could choose to be one of them, it would be her!
You know, it is such a hard one to decide, I like Bill Burr's character, even though I don't know his name, the first episode he was in I liked him, but that second one where they enter the military base is so good.
I also really like seeing Asoka, but Bo Catan is really cool too, seeing her in live-action too. Mando, he's great too, but I think he is bolstered by all of the other people who join him on the adventures.
Yeah, George Lucas is incredibly wise, and that interview is such a breath of fresh air and really puts things into perspective I think.
Great write up @emma-h I'd be on the same page as you in the majority, if not all of what you say. I think everyone has a certain qouta of love to give and for me it depends on how much love one received as a child, I was lucky to receive loads and I tell my three children every day that I love them and they say the same back. I've never known love like the love I have for my children, but I love my Mum and Dad, my Granny when she was alive (only Grand parent I met, others were already dead), my brothers and sisters, friends. I've lots of love to give, and I put that down to my childhood and mainly my Mum and all the love and adoration she poured on me and my 5 sisters and 2 brothers.
Hi @ablaze
Thank you so much for your really nice comment, I enjoyed reading it and it made me happy to read that you can track back where you got the ability to love so much from. I also only knew one grandparent before she died, but I have so much love and respect for those that I didn't meet as I heard about them from my family and they were good, wholesome people. The salt of the earth kind that you don't find often these days.
I can imagine you must love your kids loads, I mean that kind of love is probably the strongest there is.
You came from a big family, that is so cool. I don't have that many siblings, but the ones I do have I love dearly and I tell them all the time too.
Have a great day/night, I'm looking forward to the next round of TTT :) Already have some of my songs chosen.
Eventually catching up on replies, sorry for the delay!
Yes very good point and it applies perfectly to my Grandads and Granny on my Dad's side who I know only through stories and photographs.
Ya it is for me, I'd do anything for them. They are great kids to be fair to them.
More on that in my book ;^)
Philosoraptor hug!
I've got a couple of questions. You seem to have it all in order, I don't disagree with you and so I'd like to pick your brain some more. I hope you don't mind.
Do you think a person can love more than one person? Love in the way that you've described it, in the real sense of the word of course, as between partners.
How would you describe obsession, as against love and lust?
Hi there @uchelee
Thanks for your comment. Let me preface my answer to you by stating categorically that I certainly don't claim to "have it all in order" as my post stated, it was really just my opinion and you or any other person might have a totally different idea of these concepts.
As for your questions, I can't answer them for anyone but myself and anyone else may have a completely different viewpoint to mine. I think what's more important is to answer these questions for yourself according to your own belief systems and values. I think that that's one of the reasons that these particular weekend prompts are so valuable, they make each of us think and answer questions we probably wouldn't normally.
Of course, that was my own opinion of your take. I agreed with you so much I wanted to hear more. The questions are of course relative, which is why I said I wanted to pick your brain. I did not intend to apply it as a universal law 😊.
Thanks anyway.
I think you have deep thoughts about all of that. I so pondered about the meaning of love
Every person experiences it differently I suppose and has to come to their own conclusions based on their own life journey and their own emotions. Nobody can tell you what love is or that your interpretation of love is wrong. It's definitely a deep topic to delve into.
Thanks for coming round and reading my post.