It's Just a Lump of Clay...

"It's almost as if it's mocking me, Doctor Lorne."

The young man frowned after he said this. Rather than meeting the eyes of the doctor, he looked around.

The first thing to catch his eye was the Ming vase, encased in thick glass. Then, his gaze wandered over to the wall. It featured pictures of the good doctor in various exotic settings.

"We've talked about this, James. Inanimate objects don't have emotions, or the ability to express them."

"I know - but that lump of clay... I look at it, and it just seems so satisfied!"

"How does that make you feel?"

"Frustrated!" James shouted, leaping from the plush sofa.

Glancing around at his luxurious surroundings, his face turned red. James quickly sat.

"Very well," the doctor replied, ignoring the outburst. "The next time you see it, I want you to pound on it - hard. Flatten it completely, then shape it into something - it doesn't matter what. Even if it's just a ball."

The next morning, James faced his adversary. It offered no resistance whatsoever.

He smiled. "The doctor was right! I know he likes art. I'll turn this lump into something that he can display in his office."

A week later, James walked into Dr. Lorne's office with a small box tucked under his arm.

"Thank you, Doctor. I think I'm cured, I just came back to give you this," he said, gently placing the package on the highly polished desk.

"Why thank you. This wasn't necessary, though."

"It's sort of symbolic. This is the very lump of clay that I felt was mocking me. And I know you like art..."

"Indeed I do, and I have been meaning to collect one of your sculptures for some time. I'm honored to receive a piece meant especially for me," he replied, lifting the lid of the box.

Doctor Lorne's eyes widened as he held the scene in his hand. "The little gazelle and cheetah are so lifelike," he gasped, looking in wonder at the tiny animals and the miniature world in which they were placed.

"I saw from the pictures on your wall that you'd been to Africa, so I thought you might like a sculpture of the African Plains."

"Like it? It's perfect, the best piece I could have hoped for! Thank you again," he said, extending his hand to the artist.

The next morning, Dr. Lorne looked fondly at the sculpture, as he drank his coffee.

"How strange. I could swear that the cheetah was chasing the gazelle. I remember how graceful the poses were. Now the gazelle is drinking from the stream, and the cheetah napping."

Dr. Lorne shook his head, and drank the rest of his coffee.

"What a lifelike scene! It's almost like that cheetah is going to grab the gazelle any second," one of his regular patients said later in the day, looking at the tiny sculpture in wonder.

"Yes, it was a gift," the doctor replied, scratching his head.

The animals in the sculpture continued to change positions every few hours for a full week. Dr. Lorne was curious what the patient would see when he returned.

Sure enough, when he entered he went directly to the desk.

"What happened to the one of the two animals running?" asked the patient, looking around the room.

"Ah. That's my favorite too. But they're a series, so I like to change things up," lied Dr. Lorne.

"So it's not my imagination," the doctor thought with relief.

After that, he tended to keep the piece hidden in a drawer, to avoid questions. While he enjoyed the constant change of scenes, he didn't want to raise any suspicions.

Two weeks later, he received a buzz on the intercom.

"Dr. Lorne, you have a walk-in. If you're not busy, I can send him in."

"Thank you, Miss Russell. Please do."

"James? What's wrong? I thought you were doing well now," Dr. Lorne said, eyebrows arched, when his assistant admitted the walk-in.

"Oh, it's not the same thing. I just wanted advice on some personality changes I've been seeing in Grandma. She's in her nineties, and I never thought she would change anything. How are you enjoying the sculpture, by the way?"

Blushing, Dr. Lorne pulled it out of a drawer.

James bent over, and to his surprise saw a cheetah curled up in the tall grass, and on the other side of the scene, the gazelle was grazing peacefully.

"Where's the one I gave you?" James asked, looking around.

Dr. Lorne carefully turned it over. "This is it. Look at the base, your signature is still there."

"But I carved them running."

The doctor quickly filled the artist in on what had happened.

"We should leave a camera on it," James suggested.

Dr. Lorne gently patted the miniature cheetah. "No... I think that might spoil it somehow. And I like it just the way it is."



Cover image made in Canva Pro using their gallery

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ah, what a delicious concept.

I appreciate that timescales and word count will have constrained you a little, but here are a few ideas to consider when you look to revisit it:

Instead of a ming vase the MC looks at, consider mentioning one of the exotic locations the doctor is seen in is Africa.

A tweak of the opening convo could allow for the MC to feel the clay is not only smug, but also running away from him, refusing to be molded.

Instead of the MC being a random revisit, it would feel less contrived if the visit is the next regualr appointment - the set up indicates they meet regularly.

Those are easy technical tweaks. the last suggestion is more nebulous. for me there needs to be something which ties things together more tightly in its weirdness. Maybe only the Dr sees the changed positions; maybe the cheetah catches the gazelle, and it disappears, only for a new and different gazelle to appear at another time; or maybe the MC has noticed ALL their new pieces are moving like this...

anyway, great story

Thanks so much for the suggestions :) Sometimes it's hard to perfect a story, but I do my best 😂

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This is such a great story and I love how your dialogue is written, it played out in my mind like a movie. I would love a little clay display like that! It kind of reminds me of the Love, Death, and Robots episode where there is a micro-verse in the guy's freezer haha

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Thanks so much I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙌 I haven't seen that show :) ...

It's actually pretty cool, I've only seen a handful of the episode of season 1 but it's on Netflix. Each episode is between 5 and 15 minutes long, produced, written, and created by different studios, and some of the stories are really good.

Nice :) Are they an ongoing series, or more like short stories?

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Makes one think was my first impression of reading this story. Well Done!

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I'm glad you liked it 🙌 Thanks so much for reading :)

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Only a pleasure my friend :)

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Excellent story with really distinct details and interesting setting : ) So the clay really did have a mind of its own?

Thanks so much 🙌

So the clay really did have a mind of its own?

Yeah, the artist was right all along 😲

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Ahh this is grand. The ending in particular. It leaves a lot to the imagination of the reader and doesn't lead them as to what is going on which is exactly what you want from a tale!

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :) In this case, it did seem like an explanation would take away some of the magic! The doctor sensed that too...

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Autocorrect
Can't live with it can't live meow it.

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The Doctor had the right of it!

Thats how I write my fiction, Someone once argued with me on Steemit that I wasn't explaining enough and I was like, that's the whole bloody point of writing!

I've never seen your fiction! Might be a good time to revive it :) ...

I was thinking that recently!

I'd definitely read it :) ...

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Awesome 🙌 I hope to meet a good many more milestones in 2023 :) Thanks for being here to celebrate them with me 🎆

@wrestlingdesires the exchange of words is the best part. It was almost like I could hear the voices of the characters. And just like the clay that could be molded, I hope I can be redesigned too.

Just hoping a certain @spaminator won't downvote this comment the way he did to my other comments.

I'm glad you liked the story, thanks so much for your kind words 🙌 What happened to get HW on your tail? You should go talk to them.

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I didn't talk to them because I thought that it had been settled since i didn't receive any downvotes for my posts for several times in a row. It was only yesterday that I noticed that my comments had been downvoted again for yet unknown reasons. I'm getting sick of what they've been doing to me, TBH. :(

Are these comments that someone upvoted?

My comment on yours aren't downvoted. Only the comments I made with other writers on my post were.

It's weird that some of my comments received downvotes while the others did not.

Is it still happening?

I think the downvotes are selective.

I called spaminator out, then he stopped downvoting my recent comments, so far. I'm still waiting if his activity will continue.

They're a group called Hivewatchers. It's better to be respectful and work with them, rather than calling them out. They're on a mission against plagiarism and spam. Sometimes they get pointed in the wrong direction, so misunderstandings are common. If it happens again, just talk to them. Let me know how it works out?

Are they on discord? Or do they have their own community here?

Did I miss something, it seems I miss the point where probably a patient cast a spell on the carved animals.

We all have different perspectives on things and I must say you did justice to this story as usual.

Exactly why it came to life is still a mystery :) ... I'm glad you liked it 🙌

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Wow! What a captivating story! It's not a just a lump after all. 😅 I enjoyed your story. You do know your art. 👍
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Thanks so much for your kind words and support ♥️

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This was a fiction you know as the sculpture were changing directions. Nothing magical but there was a trace of magic.

This is a brilliant one we have from you...

Thanks so much for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :)

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Witchery I say😂😂😂

Maybe put it in the kiln...😂😂

The poor little animals 😢

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Leaving a camera on the clay?... that's ridiculous😅😅...so the clay has a mind of it's own. The questions that was asked countless times about that particular clay stirred up the curiosity in me... regardless this story is so intriguing!🤗

Leaving a camera on the clay?... that's ridiculous😅

Why, wouldn't you be curious to see how it moves??? I know I would :)

I'm glad you liked the story, thanks so much for your wonderful comment ♥️

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Yes of course! I would love to!
It's my pleasure!

That was what I meant, leave it recording video :) ...

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How many ways can you say brilliant? This really is inspired. It moves quickly, has a fantastic narrative and is highly symbolic (a lump of clay!!!). You reached the top level of achievement with this one. The ending is just perfect.

Thank you for sharing this most unusual, most imaginative story with us,
@wrestlingdesires

Thanks so much, your words mean a lot to me ♥️ You helped me to improve so much since I've been here!!!

A story with supernatural magic, did the patient have some kind of power? Whatever it is, i loved reading it. To finish this Friday the 13th, the story was wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
Good day.

Thanks so much 🙌 I'm happy that you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it 🎆

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This is one of the best stories I have read in the Inkwell. I'm really, really impressed. I think you are a much more sophisticated story writer today than you were a year ago. You always had talent, but this one shows skill and thought.

I loved it.

Thanks so much, coming from you that means a lot ♥️ And has me hoping that my next one also lives up to such praise :)

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This is a great story, @wrestlingdesires. So imaginative!

I really want to commend you on the dialogue. You have truly mastered this! It's not easy to do. And we all have habits that sneak into our writing, whether or not they support the flow of a story. I'm absolutely amazed at how you pulled this off. The dialogue tags are minimized. They are only there to support the flow, help us keep track of who is speaking, and keep the story flowing. Absolutely fantastic!

Thanks so much, this is truly high praise ♥️ You and Agmoore certainly have me hoping that my next story lives up to this one :)

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Wonderful story. Love love the concept... and this could be developed into a longer story... which is my way of saying...I didn't want it to end hehe. it would be fascinating to learn the secret of the lump of clay and why it exists in this way.

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I didn't want it to end hehe

That might just be the best compliment so far ♥️ It also means I did my job, by completing it yet leaving you hungry for more 🙌

Thanks so much for your encouragement and kind words :)

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I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙌

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