Oh man I´m sorry to hear what you´re going through. I don´t know what kind of stuff you went through during military and I probably don´t want to know. I just hope you´ll find a way to get rid of these fucking drugs. I had some difficult years as well (pretty sure not as hard as your time), but I was sick and I was in a day clinic for 3 month. Nearly every day they asked if I do not want to consider start taking anything. I always declined and I´m happy I did. I saw other people taking so many pills and some of them were absolutely loosing their mind.

I once was on medication for my stomach and doctors told me I have to take this for the rest of my life. Liars, I got rid of it after taking it a few years. How? By just reducing the dose slowly.

Pretty sure you will also make it. Good Luck and all the best!