The Color of Monkey

in OCD3 years ago (edited)

Once upon a time, there were a group of monkeys, with each being a different color; red, blue, green and yellow.

They were magical monkeys and could do a cool trick, as when they held hands their colors would mix. They would spend the day holding hands in different combinations to see what colors they could create.

When the red and blue monkeys held hands, they became purple. When the yellow and blue monkeys did it, they became green. When the green and red monkey got together, they became brown and when the yellow and red got together, they turned orange.

One day, while they were playing, they were approached by two more monkeys, one was black and one was white. They were magical too and when they held hands, they would turn grey. They asked if they could join in the game and see what happens.

When the red and white monkey joined hands, they turned pink and when the black and red monkey held hands, they turned a dark red. When they were combining the colors, the white monkey made the color lighter and the black monkey darker.

They had a lot of fun playing together and seeing if they could create the same colors that they found in the area.


This is a short version of a story I told to my daughter a few nights ago so that she would get a better understanding of color mixing. Of course, it didn't have to be entirely accurate, it just had to pique the curiosity enough to try and today, it seems to have worked, as she sat there choosing colors and saying "when a blue monkey and a red monkey hold hands..."

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My father was a painter, but he never taught any techniques or skills. I am not sure if it was out of a lack of interest or he felt that it had to be something a person chooses to do on their own, as he did. I believe however, that in order for most children to start exploring the world for themselves, they need to be encouraged to do so with a little direction and support, without tying them to the direction of the parent.

If course, parents have limited and narrow skills, so it is natural to introduce what is already known, but it doesn't mean a child will want to take the same path long-term. If too much focus is put on what the parent wants, the child can literally be led down a path they don't want to go or isn't suitable for them.

However, if the lead is to be open to skill development and to explore, a process of trial and error and also reflection can be introduced so that they can attempt to build skills, be supported in failure and success and also find the point of where they choose to continue, or give up. There is no shame in giving up if an earnest attempt has been made and not every path is suitable for every person, no matter how much an individual may want it.

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I don't care what my daughter does in her life, as long as she feels her life is valuable and meaningful, which generally requires doing something valuable ad meaningful. Many don't recognize this and wake up one day with the sense they have wasted the opportunities in their life on frivolity that felt good on the moment, but hollow as a whole.

I think that it is important to enjoy the moment, but fun doesn't only come through satisfying desires and while building skills is time consuming and uncomfortable, it opens up the potential for different kinds of fun later. It is an investment in the same way that a financial investment generates potential to invest again, or the work of a job allows for an income that can be used to do any number of things. As I see it, it all ties together and in order to have value, the average person has to have the capabilities to generate value, as most will never have it handed to them.

For my daughter, she has a lot of fun, as she builds skills that will affect her course as she progresses. None of this is work for her, it is life itself. where she takes it will increasingly become her decision, but it is my job to make sure that she has the best tools for her job of making those decisions, so that I am obsolete and just play the supporting role of a father, enjoying watching his daughter live a contented life.

We are all just monkeys holding hands to see what we can create.

Taraz
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... which generally requires doing something valuable and meaningful. Many don't recognize this and wake up one day with the sense they have wasted the opportunities in their life on frivolity that felt good on the moment, but hollow as a whole.

Yup, never too late though, I hope!

It is never too late, but then I guess it gets to a point where there isn't much that can be done.

More graft I expect, that's how it feels anyway. As long as there is progress :)

What a great way to explain colour! I admire your patience, not many parents would make time for such mundane things
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I think it is an easy place to introduce some artistic structure to explore and she is able to see colors and imagine what they may blend to, engaging her creative imagination as well.

Yeah, brilliant job Dad :)

Yeah, he does such a great job

I have never been a parent but then the type of control my parent had on me was one of the reasons why I never really understood what my potential was early on. In reality, being a Parent isn't an easy job, you need to know when to be domineering and when to be totally invisible but then I like you said, she learns as she grows.

I had more the opposite issue, my parents didn't control me at all, they weren't overly present after I was about 8. I kind of raised myself most of the time but was influenced more by my brothers, as well as the responsibilities I had for me myself. I am not sure which is the worse way to raise kids.

Parents is bith easy and hard. It is easy to support what you love. It is hard to give them the freedom to do their own thing when they need. There is a balance between, but these days people want to be friends with their kids by satisfying short term desires instead of building the skills of a lifetime.

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Looks like she is having fun exploring the colors, and a nice story to keep it a simple process. Combining is a tool that can lead to other new concepts. As a kid I loved the Tinker Toys and combining the sticks and wheels and other things to make things.

You are in for a lot of fun watching her grow and the toys for doing and learning, you get to be a kid for a second time in life, not only via teaching but in playing with her and her toys.

A delightful example of how to encourage and not impose your opinion !!!