Losing Face - His Conscious Choice (a short story) | LMAC - FreeStyle No. 7

Since deciding to continue the freestyle collages in the LMAC Community, I've created five thus far. My current collage project is the seventh in my FreeStyle collage theme series and continues my Round 151 theme of choices. In "The Conscious Choice", the centerpiece for my theme is an image of a man bereft with grief after making a choice to leave his family in search of riches and excitement with someone else. All attempts at his quest fail. His conscious is weighing heavily. Only at the end does he realize his mistake.

It's an eerie scene of a man losing face and the hindsight of his beautiful past that haunts him.

For my FreeStyle No. 7, I wanted to include in my scene a portion of the contest image from LMAC's Round #151 used with permission by LMAC owner.

I hope my college theme and short story complement the image.

Hemley left. And he didn't tell anyone his direction or when he'd return. Least of all, his wife of twenty years. He did leave a note haphazardly explaining his reasons why he felt he needed a change.

"In search of Utopia." Those words were the only clue as to his intentions.

But where was Utopia, and why did he feel the need to leave me in my condition to find it? his wife, Margena thought. Those questions would remain with her for the next nine months.

She cycled her feelings; cursing his name; cursing each time they lay together; and cursing each month that passed without word. In a moment of weakness rehashing part of their past not painful, she placed an advertisement in the local tribune for a month's run.

Then the final curse came the moment their daughter entered her world and Hemley wasn't by her side. She delivered their child with the help of a midwife.

A daughter to care for. She was the future. Margena closed her heart on the past. She'd no time for foolishness or pining for the person who promised her a lifetime of love and security.

She let it go. She let him go. And she never spoke his name again. Peace settled upon her and their daughter, Serenity. Ballet was their refuge as they retreated into a world of wonder and beauty that brought peace to their lives. Margena not only loved ballet, but secured a position as dance instruction.

Meanwhile, Hemley continued for five years his search for Utopia.

Eventually, he became restless and lost in his direction with only a feeling of hunger for something better to guide him. But that hunger had no face, nothing to reveal how it would look. Several promising jobs lasted only after a short tenure, with layoffs at the end of each.

The new woman in his life refused to live penniless. Pretending to visit a friend, she left in the night with no trace of her whereabouts.

Bereft, Hemley sank into loneliness. Financially he was a mess. Without adequate resources to maintain his health, he fell into a deep depression, with excessive bouts of drinking to relieve the medical conditions.

Finally realizing the Utopia he set out to find was an illusion, he wanted no more of a world that promised everything in exchange for his belief it existed if only he searched for it.

Ashamed for abandoning his wife and unborn child, in his anguish one night he ventured near the river. With the serene sunset at his back, he looked over his shoulder. Tears of despair and regret trickled into the river. He knew then he'd already found his Utopia in the evening light, then trashed it.

Releasing the clothes from his body, the water waited as he submerged himself. But its rippling waves refused to provide the easy relief he sought. Even the crow mocked him as though validating his guilt. In his anguish, he rose violently and gave up himself to misery.

With head between hands, he leaned over begging for forgiveness. His reflection now shadowed as if lost, he tore at his face until bleeding, casting it into the river.

His wife and their child danced gently upon his head. Their soft, pink slippers matching their delicate outfits resembled the cool sunset. His shame wouldn't allow him to accept the peace it infused. Instead, he imagined finger pointing at witnessing his downfall and rejoicing in it.

But their dance was of forgiveness. The soft slippers caressed his head as though covering it with kindness. He smiled tears of joy, knowing deep within, his only offspring would forgive.

But would Margena?

Suddenly, his hands floundered beneath the murky water searching for his face. Having found it, he rose up from the river of despair. He downed the mocking crow. He cast off the symbol of blame hovering nearby.

Hemley dressed hurriedly and left that promised place, headed in the direction of his Utopia.

My theme for this FreeStyle collage includes several pieces of art that work well together to combine for a scene of despair centralized in one place with numerous activities occurring simultaneously. I feel they incorporate the feeling I meant to portray.

The first piece is a free image I utilized as the background to depict a ballerina dancing on top of a bereft man's head. What a awesome discovery! Especially after combining the image, I was able to show the smaller ballerina that acted as the child dancing with her mother atop of her father's head.

^Source

My other pieces include three stable diffusion art images. To create the surreal images, I utilized stable diffusion software, Deep Dream Generator and StarryAI.

To create the stable diffusion art start of the theme, below are my steps to produce the fantasy ballerina what was both graceful and surreal. I love how this art turned out with only my minor descriptive text input:

StarryAI Text Input
"Fantasy and graceful ballerina."

StarryAI Result:

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Other stable diffusion images I created are below. They lent credibility to the scene in the river. The fantasy squid is just amazing. It resembles rare pearls.

The remaining images I included in my theme were contributed to the LIL by its members @seckorama and @redheadpei. The skull and crow added unique symbolism to the scene. You can see the skull lying in the water presenting the man was no longer himself. The crow is awesome representing his conscious in mocking him for his choices that lead to his downfall.

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After completion of the generative art, I then uploaded it, the contest photo and all other images into Canva to take advantage of my Annual Pro Membership Subscription.

Thanks for your visit. I hope you like my short story and collage theme.