Are the rituals only customary ?
Three years have been passed, little did we realize before we went for the small ritual yesterday. As part of this ritual we call brahmins who perform all the puja as per our traditions and offer them prasad and seek their blessings with a belief that, the soul will rest in peace and will let us live peacefully. In the first ritual that happens 11 days after the death, minimum 50 brahmins are called to do the mega rituals, given prasad, clothes, money and in subsequent years, the number reduces. I have been closely associated with every ritual. Here are few pictures of the first ritual, from three years back.
The team of 50 brahmins came in and did everything that was supposed to be done, there is a big community of brahmins and we have to prebook them.
Yesterday only five brahmins were needed to do the rituals. After doing the puja, they were offered the prasad, brought from a temple.
And then the blessings, enchanting all the mantras.
After they departed, our turn came - the prasad is super tasty and from last few days, I was thinking to go to a temple and eat it. There is an app now also, which delivers only prasad, someone was telling. Need to figure out for future needs.
While I was eating, a thought came in my mind - these rituals are for what ? It's because they are in our tradition or culture ? Letting the soul rest in peace and doing these rituals is to remind ourselves about them ? And does the soul calms down as time passes and that is why the size of these rituals reduce ? Should we do them ? Will our future generations will also do these rituals?
Life is an very interesting experiment - when you are alive, everyone in your family loves your presence for various reasons. But if you are really a good soul, then your family members as well as other people will love you forever and even wish, you take rebirth. And what determines if you are a good soul or not ? Well, people can have varied answer , but my answer is if One has not done anything evil and is true to his conscience to not do any damage to anyone, helped wherever or whatever he can, then he is a good soul. And uncle was one of them. For that reason, he will be always with us in our memory. He was a rich person - rich in heart, though not wealth - helping many people in every possible way he could.
Coming to these rituals, its all about our belief in our culture. Some says, they are necessary to prevent the soul to trouble us, but hey, if he is a good soul, then would he trouble us ? Instead is it not like, inviting him to see how much we miss him ? And he loves to be with us ? What do you think ?
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Your next-generation witnesses you performing those rituals, substantiating their faith passively (even though they are oblivious of the need for it), is a mark of the civilization and culture propagating organically without having to tell them what they ought to do when it will be their turn in the future.
Your culture and the civilizational values are greater than the sum of their parts. Your faith in such a thing or someone being agnostic of such a ritual hardly matters. In our culture, faith, traditions, and culture are deeply integrated.
Some people say they are agnostic or atheist, that's fine. But in the larger perspective, you can not completely abandon your identity. Think about it, you have a name(X, Y, Z whatever), you have an origin, etc, and so on. A third party, who does not even talk to you, begins to form a perception from your name, place of origin; that's where your culture or traditions unwillingly make an impression, so you can abandon your identity, but your bearing can not let a third-party to perceive that you have done that. That is why it is greater than the sum of the parts.
In the end, I really love that shot, you, your wife, and your kids dining out, together, that's an epic one, that draws a conclusion of your tradition and we all are proud of it.
And we have been doing it for ages, well said. And yes, we are supposed to sit on the ground and eat on these occasions.
Hi Sanjeevm;
Appreciated reading your post about your uncle. We come from two very different cultures - and, from an outsider's point of view, it's lovely to get an insight into how religious beliefs permeate your experiences of death. My dad passed away quite recently (about 10 weeks ago) and I'm not sure how to keep his memory alive. I have a potplant that reminds me of him, but beyond that, it seems he may just disappear.
Hope you're well,
Tim.
Sorry for your losses, I am sure, he will be in your memory forever.
Culture and traditions sometimes are simply just a reminder of our ancestry regardless of our beliefs. He appears to be a loving and wonderful person when he was alive, so I don't think the rituals would do much other than show he's well remembered by his loved ones. I'm sorry for you loss and I believe he's in a better place.
So may be do the rituals only for those who are not nice ?
Even when loved ones are lost, sometimes it seems as if they are living around us. It is one of the manifestations of love for them. Good luck to everyone on the hereafter.
I respect every culture be to me a believe let the dead take care of themselves were they are. Some culture believe are created for extortion.
Seeing this ritual that you take part in is why I love this platform. All over the world people practice different rituals, many of which most of us have no idea of.
Seeing how you respect this custom and honor those that have passed but have not been forgotten is such a great thing!
Ya, its very different for different religions and even for same religion in different locations.
To be able to practice what ever your religious beliefs are is not always the case. We are the lucky ones to be able to believe in what we choose to follow.
It is all a matter of faith and belief. Those who believe and those who do not both are not wrong. Thanks for sharing!
In fact, with the passing away of our loved ones, our society acknowledges that the soul is around death for a few days. There we also perform rituals such as ancestral offerings in order to remove that soul from its mistakes and make a good soul. Before the death is buried in the cemetery, several monks of the temple come and perform certain rituals. It is my hope that the next generation will use this as part of our cultural heritage.
Among the most important things is a person’s love for others and not being wronged or hurting because it makes feelings broken
Do you like to eat couscous? It's a delicious dish in North Africa
what's that ?
I was always a sceptic around religious rituals and I think most belong in the past when religion had more of a stranglehold on society. I visited the Vatican and realised it was all about greed and money more than the good of people. How much to book the 50 brahmins if you don't mind me asking? If aliens invaded and observed our rituals they would all think we are crazy. 😀
Blessings are not free :)
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I'm glad I took a time to read about your tradition and your faith, I guess all good soul leave little pieces of themselves in our souls, as he has being in your life, one way or another for the past 3 years friend :)