"You know I DIDN'T actually make that for you, don't you?" Miss-Almost-16 asked carefully.
"What?!" I replied, looking up from my laptop, as my daughter brought me up a fresh coffee in her class break. She was looking past me into a strange little sideroom upstairs in our huge old Thai house, where I have one of my many alternate workspaces set up.
"That. The clay thing."
"I made you a teapot, cos I always knew how much you like tea. But it broke in the oven. The teachers had made some spare art projects for the kids who didn't have anything to take home. They said it was OK for me to lie to you about it."
I was gobsmacked, to say the least.
It has graced one of my desks for 9, going on 10, years. My daughter made it for me when she was almost 6, or so I thought.
For some reason I simply know it's a He. And he faithfully has held paperclips, USB drives, elastic bands and the like for almost a decade.
Sometimes he holds my hand-wrist rehab ring. He's very sweet that way.
He doesn't seem to mind sharing the table with the much more perfect ceramic project of yet another craft class, where the teachers had obviously learned a bit about risk management and tearful kids, and made the project less likely to fail. But it's so much less creative, expressive or fun.
I think he's a horse and so I call him Harry. Harry the Horse.
My daughter looked at me very uncertainly this morning, as if the confession would make Harry the Horse lose all his meaning and condemn him to the garden to be smashed and recycled for drainage bits at the bottom of a flowerpot.
We hugged and I told her Harry and I would be an item till I die.
Cos always he will remind me of my little girl who was SOOOO DISAPPOINTED that her made-with-love tea pot project broke, and who has held what must have not felt nice in her heart for 10 years. It must have felt fake, and fraudulent. My heart hurts thinking about her disappointed going-on-6 heart, who had so much wanted to give me something she knew I would value and use; she was already doing it tough that year after her father finally left us.
"Ok - one more item to cross of the great confessions list", I joked. And smiled. And we hugged some more. And I told her how glad I was that we've had these almost 5 months together at home, in our Covid Cocoon, to reach a place of such deeper trust and connection that she finally felt connected and close enough to be able to TELL me.
I'm wondering at teachers; who don't think ahead much, in one way, and yet clearly thought ahead enough to create some "spare" clay projects. I'm wondering about the lack of psychology training in educators, in general, and how much healthier we might all be as adults if there was more understanding about the emotional burdens we give children which they are unprepared to carry. I'm remembering (with still some pain 30 years later) at being given back all my childhood craft projects by my mother, as she had no space for them anymore (in her new smaller house) and they held not enough value to her anymore. My then 20-something self HAD expected her to keep my gifts and smile over them till she died. My 50-something self is determined never to give that redundant feeling to my girl.
And yes, people always do ask. Why so many workspaces? LOL.
It's a productivity & health hack. I change up my location for different tasks and projects during the day: different physical chair and position, different window, little distracting clutter and the various work stations are better at different times of the day, and in different seasons. How many work spaces & zones do I have? I have 6. 😆
My heart smiled so BIG as I watched my daughter flounce off downstairs to her next online class, clearly feeling lighter and released by her confession. I think I can see a trace of a smile on Harry's face too, relieved after all these years and clearly feeling appreciated for his true origins at last.
BlissednBlessed.
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What a lovely story. Dear Ploi! My Mum still puts the paper angel I made at primary school on the Christmas tree. I can't believe the teacher told her to lie though - that's rough!
Bless your mum!! How sweet. yes, we have some kindergarten level christmas stars Ploi made that will always grace our tree too.
!ENGAGE 15
ENGAGEtokens.I remember a few teachers doing that with the little kids. Its just to support theem and to not make them feel bad for not having anything to give to their parent or guardians due to their work breaking. Probably better to just have them be honest while allowing them to give a replacement piece as a gift. I remember a teacher doing that but was more jokingly saying to say it was something the kid made but she gave them a big wink so I assumed she was just joking. But, its been decades since I was that child so I may not remember it in full. Teachers do get more psych training/there is a push for more training, depending on the region. Another reason I support more funding for such things. Good example, nothing major or offensive but in hindsight, is this better than just having them tell the truth while giving the gift? One thing Id assume is that the teacher may have made extras they only had a little extra material (since they often buy it themselves) and wouldnt have enough on hand in case kids had to completely restart their project. Kids do sometimes waste material even if be accident. That is besides the point of the lie but something that came into mind.
I know the teachers think they are helping, and that simply shows that the teachers need a lot more training and learning about early childhood development.
I wish for a school system that allows kids time to restart if something breaks or doesn't work - SUCH a valuable skill in later life!!! 😍
!ENGAGE 25
Thankfully the teachers I am friends with feel the same way. There seems to be a growing desire for this on "all sides" if not most.
ENGAGEtokens.I was pleasantly surprised by your response. Possibly because I had a similar experience with my mum, except it was a painting she was keeping that wasn't a gift to her from me, but was just in with my art from school which was used for the exam. For some reason she kept hold of this particular oil painting, which my art teacher had decided I wasn't slapping enough paint on and took over in his own style. Something I felt that he shouldn't have interfered with and I was never happy about it. I'm pretty sure I told my mum about it at the time, but she must have forgotten, so years later when I was visiting I saw it on display because she'd found it in the attic. I asked get why she was keeping it, when I'd never really felt like it was my creation. She got rid of it at that point! 🤣
So slightly different circumstances, really. Glad Harry will keep his place on your desk and in your heart.
Oh spare us from teachers who take over creativity process cos "we're not doing it right". Wonder if Picasso had stories like that??
This whole little episode has shown me that the real issue is the structure of the schooling. The teacher should have enabled her to try again... it's the conformity of everything being done in a set time, and all together, that forces this stuff. Better yet, a good teacher would have had several "making" classes in the months before Mothers Day and then allowed the students to choose their favourite to give their mom. Or something like that.
Hugs to your art student self being pushed aside by a bossy teacher.
!ENGAGE 25
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!ENGAGE 25
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ENGAGEtokens.Your story caused me a lot of laughter, I imagined giving my mom those little things that children do for Mother's Day hahaha they are always an artistic disaster that they love because they love us.
The lack of psychological education is something that is needed in all careers, I think it is necessary that the police, teachers, doctors and engineers, take subjects that sensitize them to their environment.
If you laughed I'm feeling that you definitely don't have children. A mom also NEVER calls those gifts an "artistic disaster". 😆
So much more understanding required from Drs, teachers, nurses etc about how their interactions make people FEEL.
!ENGAGE 15
ENGAGEtokens.That’s a very nice story! Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day.
You too, my dear. Hoping things get easier for you, and the business-customers start flowing soon. Su Su. 😘
!ENGAGE 15
ENGAGEtokens.Thank you for more tip!
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