"Tara idaan na lang natin yan sa maboteng usapan" (Let's just have a good conversation - Mabote being a clever play on the word Mabuti which means good but in this context Bote means bottle of alcohol so what it really means is let's have a drunken conversation)
I grew up listening to Eraserheads giving voice to my thoughts and the feelings I kept close to my heart.
Their songs made me want to learn how to play the guitar and belt out drunken verses as we nursed the latest rejection one of us suffered from our crushes.
Pare ko was a favorite as we drank, jammed, shouting with gusto the curse words in the lyrics. It's a seeming tale between two friends who just got friendzoned and just had their hearts broken.
O pare ko..meron akong problema..
Wag mong sabihing na naman..
In love ako sa isang kolehiyala..
Hindi ko maintindihan..
Wag na nating idaan..sa "ma-boteng" usapan..
Lalo lang madaragdagan..
ang sakit ng ulo at bilbil sa tiyan..
It is such a fun song to get wasted on.
Photo by Nikhil Shetty on Unsplash
Come to think of it whenever we get together as men it is often under the pretense of catching up and having a bottle or two of your chosen poison. It may be beer when we were younger and broke. To tequila, vodka or gin when we wanted to be shit-faced drunk to nowadays enjoying a glass of good whiskey or rum as we have now grown older.
It is so seldom that we would meet up and have coffee or tea. Especially weird if we get together and have some milktea lol. It is almost always with some alcohol to get us to be comfortable to talk about how our lives are. It is as if alcohol is needed for us to be able to open up our emotions and let go of some of the filters that we set on our sober selves.
This made me think of that one time that Adam talked about the difference in how men and women communicate and establish a connection. Men would tend to be factual and not ask very personal questions like what do you do, what car you drive or what's your background while women tend to ask more personal questions in trying to establish an emotional connection.
Alcohol, being the liquid courage, makes men relax and let go of that constant control to appear manly, of always showing the strong confident side, of pushing down feelings because it will make us look weak and vulnerable. It's no wonder so many men are so messed up with the constant tight grip on emotions and no means to release it for fear of being seen as limp and puny. Our egos cannot stand that.
Drinking alcohol is not seen as a weakness though. It is an acceptable event to swap stories and laugh out loud and have a great time. After several bottles in people will start to talk about their regrets, their hang-ups, their what-ifs. It is that time to be contemplative and have quiet introspection without bravado. Shit finally becomes real.
The Maboteng usapan now really becomes a good conversation as people will lower the defenses that they painstakingly cultivated in their sober moments. The truth now sets you free.
This made me think of the meet-up we had in Hive PH three weeks ago as the alcohol kept flowing as shot after shot was called. The buzzed conversations between strangers, the stolen glances taken, the confessions said out loud. The songs were sung as we enjoyed ourselves in the company of people that we have long talked online but have never seen face to face.
It was a fun night to drink with people.
Mabote (bottle) has truly become Mabuti (good)
With my friends, we have different ways to bond. Coffee/Milktea if chill lang, inuman kapag may iccelebrate or if merong may problema hahaha Like what you've said, after several shots, nagiging vulnerable ang mga tao. Yung mga di nila kayang ishare while sober, dun nila nalalabas pag nakainom na. Indeed, at times, it's maboteng (mabuting) usapan.
!PIZZA
liquid courage indeed hahahah
I'm so down to being invited for coffee, tea or milktea! Although most guys that I know will be rather be caught dead rather than be seen drinking bobba with another guy.
Dati after shift (lalo pag sweldo) "Tara, 2 bots!" meaning 2 bottles of beer na magiging dalawang case na ang ending. Walang uuwi hanggat walang tumatawag ng uwak. Hahah. Pero sa male friends ko, mas mabote talaga ang usapan kasi mas light ang feeling nila, mas open sila, mas vulnerable kumbaga. Wag lang talaga sosobra kasi iba iba rin ang tama ng alak sa bawat isa eh. Haha. Kaya 2 bots lang talaga kung 2 bots kung gusto ng maboteng usapan lang. Hehe
ahahaha budol yan 2 bots! yun palipas lang tayo ng traffic eh magiging inumaga na ang uwi dahil 2 case na. ang masaya pa hindi alam paano naka drive pauwi hahaha
Hahaha, this made me laugh! imagine if I asked you for a night out to get milk tea. 🤣🤣🤣 evidently alcohol can boost our confidence and our spirits at least from my experience, either giving me beer goggles and making me come up to a 12/10 lady finding out she's a 4/10 up close, opening up factual stories to ridiculously wtf real stories, and over-exaggerated-obviously-that-is-not-true-story 🤣 and the best approach to tell a #bro, "yo you're doing dumb shit with your life, get your shit together, this is an intervention". all in all, I guess this is how men cope with things.
cheers mav!
ahahahahha I have never been asked by another guy to get together and drink milk tea. Women who are friends yes, friends with benefits always alcohol hahhahaha
yeah I think that's how most men would try to normalize reaching out to some one else by inviting them for a drink and be manly lol.
😏 pag may alak may balak, sad if niyaya ka possible friends with benefit ng lunch, or afternoon tas coffee or milktea lang officially #friendzoned
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@cthings(1/10) tipped @maverickinvictus
It's good when always like this but it is sad when the supposed to be mabote will end up Hindi mabuti kasi may nag wild na, may nagsuntukan na.
Honestly I have fear facing people na nakainom na or even passing to a road with people who is drinking alcoholic drink, Ang daming pumapasok sa isip ko, dmaing fears. Sorry Po di lang talaga Ako sanay but there were times before na nasa circle Ako sa mga taong umiinom
yeah its kinda hard to handle those people that look for fights when they get drunk. Me when I am drunk I just sleep in one corner lol
I don't like those loud mouth drunks as well.
hanggang chill lang dapat sa inuman.
Sana ganyan lahat Ng mindset. Naku natakot Ako nung nag wild Ang kapitbahay dahil nakainom na.
Love the play with words from bottle to good 😊 Drinking is a social function that can bring out good stories and create funny memories, if you're with your kind of people hahaha. I like your reflection about how this is the "socially acceptable" time for men to open up their feelings, otherwise they bottle it all up for the majority of their time.
Why not go to milktea shops kung gusto niyo magmilktea? 🤣 Walang basagan ng trip hahah I remem my college friends who are a mix of men, women, and non-binary folks, and kahit saan kami mapadpad, all's well! With the booze or not, you feel safe to share your feelings
ahahah yeah that's the thing with the Filipino language and Filipinos in general they love making a play on words and its just awesome.
I would definitely jump for a chance to just have milktea rather than abusing my liver everytime hahahha
I could agree with the effects and "courage" of what drinking alcohol can do. With my friends, it's so different. My guy friends likes drinking alcohol, we could bond a lot and talk so deep. With my girl friends, even no coffee or milktea, we can talk about the deepest secrets hahaha
It was such a fun night, the meetup. You drank a lot but spoke too little but at least we had time to talk even for those little times. I liked how you described the things that happened during the meetup. May ka stolen glance ka ba? hahahaha
Mag talk deep naman tayo next time on Friday night 😂
ahahahha I just like to listen a lot to people talking. I like being around people but not standing out or talking. I'm so accustomed to being in the background hahahha.
Most guys need that alcohol to be able to loosen up and be more open, even vulnerable, as it seems.
hahahah no but I did see some who were looking at each other hahahha
That's a trait not most people have. You're great at it! I like listeners, and I want to be a good listener.. I mean I'm practicing. 😅
Ito talaga un eh!! HAHAHAHA CCTV ka rin pala hahahaha
most HR are marites hahahhaa we like the juicy and hearing the tea hahaha