Johnny Pennyworth Cordon Gusto Academy of Culinary Arts

This is an experimental Creative Write/Free write. I wrote this in the Hive.Pizza DiscordPizza Guild Discord while sharing my screen and asking for input/direction/whatever from the community. I think it will be an interesting way to construct a post and have no idea how this will turn out!

This week the wonderful @anikekirsten agreed to draw the events of the story as we were writing in the group and we were lucky enough to get some of her amazing artwork for this story! Thanks to @anikekirsten for her hard work here! She will receive a 50% beneficiary on the post.

Rules!
They are few:

Anyone else in the voice channel's input overrides mine- I will type and incorporate ideas and input as I do- ANYONE in voice can make me edit or whatever!

Pizza Tips for participants throughout the event

Other than that this is a standard free writing format! So lets GOOOOOOO!

It had taken years of experimentation to perfect the art. Friar Baker had first realized his unique talent in culinary school as he attempted to bake the examination cake in order to graduate. He had only minutes before the exam was over and disaster struck. His senior frosting assistant fumbled the piping bag and knocked his scrupulously prepared, perfectly baked and intricately crafted cinnabon from its stand. It tumbled to the floor in what seemed like slow motion and with a wet and sticky SLAP adhered itself to the tiles. For a moment Friar Baker was stunned. The frosting assistant broke down in tears knowing that he had ruined Friar's chance of graduating from the prestigious Johnny Pennyworth Cordon Gusto Academy of Culinary Arts. His career as a 3 star pastry chef potentially ruined Friar began to panic.

He began casting around for ways that he might be able to save his creation before the final bell on the examination sounded. As his life passed before his eyes he recalled tossing random ingredients into the fryolator during his teenage years working at a burger bar. Some of the resulting creations were astoundingly tasty and he had occasionally wondered if frying might find a place in the world of pastry artistry. He remembered one particular afternoon when he had accidentally dropped a fully assembled burger directly into the fryolator. The thing had tasted DIVINE, even though it looked like what it was- a lumpy deep fried burger monstrosity. Perhaps there was a way to save his Cinnabon and get some extra credit at the same time!

"Franko! Go to the first year classroom and pull the old deep fryer Corenelius Michaelandjello used to use to demonstrate how not to bake during orientation! We still have time to save the Cinnabon!"

"But Friar, you can't serve this! It's been on the floor!"

"10 second rule Franko! I'm more worried about how we can save the icing! Now GO! And don't stop to chat with Franny!"

Having sent the senior frosting assistant shuffling away as fast as his walker would carry him, Friar set about attempting to peel the Cinnabon off the tiles with his trusty baking roller nunchuku's. A skill taught to him well by Corenelius Michaelandjello in the tedious time they spent in the classroom waiting for dough to prove. He had learned much from Corenelius, not least of which was the art of "herbally spiced pastries."

Corenelius had a little known secret ingredient- and though everyone knew his pastries tasted a little different to the normal versions, few had managed to figure out what the secret herbs actually were. All anyone knew was that his pastries alone fostered feelings of warmth and a desire to eat hundreds of the damn things.

The nunchuku's, which had never failed him before in a pasty fight, were failing him now. The cinnabon seemed to be glued to the tiles and the constant spinning of the nunchuku's was doing nothing to remove it. Friar tucked them away in his belt. He reached into his pocket for his trusty extendable Bo Spatula and extended it ineptly. He spun it once or twice experimentally, knocking a baking tray to the floor with a clatter. Friar was nowhere near as talented with the Bo Spatula as the legendary second year master Donnajello, and it showed. Still with the new implement in hand he began to scrape the congealing Cinnabon from the floor with greater success.

With a sticky, somewhat sickening SLURRRRP the Cinnabon was free. Well I guess if the 10 second rule is ok, the 10 minute rule works too Friar thought as he blew dust, errant microbes, and accumulated yick off of the somewhat beaten and misshapen Cinnabon. He set it reverentially back on the cake stand and tapped his foot impatiently while he waited for Franko to return with the fryolator that he hoped would save his career.

Franko had made it half way to Corenelius Michaelandjello's office. He had thankfully seen no sign of Franny as yet. Just as he rounded the corner past the souffles lounge, Franny came barreling into the corridor pushing a wheelchair containing a dilapidated and bandaged 3 layer black forest gateaux of red, yellow, and green. Thankfully she didn't have time to stop and chat as she pushed the injured cake off towards the infirmary kitchens.

"Guye Airfriery is attacking! He is drying out all the pastries!" She shouted over her shoulder as she proceeded down the hallway. Just as she spoke the cake on the wheelchair erupted and out jumped a dwarf stripper with twin battle pizza cutters to help fend off Airfriery's assault. He yelled a wordless battlecry and ran back into the souffles lounge to join the fight.

"I can't help Franny! Friar is in the middle of his exam and needs Corenelius's fryolator!" Franko continued to shuffle down the hall as fast as his aging legs would carry him. "Not like I'd be any use in a fight anyway! I haven't practiced my whisk fist in years! Besides! Friar is the best suited to taking on Guye Airfriery! I have to help *him!"

"You're as yellow as a vanilla sponge cake Franko!" Franny shouted over her shoulder again, still wheeling the remains of the chocolate gateaux towards the infirmary kitchens. "I have to save these cakes if I can, but I'll sooner fight than help someone fry anything!" With that last quip she was gone, and the harsh sizzling of Guy Airfriery's weapon grew louder in the hallway.

Still Franko shuffled toward Corenelius' office where the old fryolator lay in wait. Suddenly the sizzling stopped entirely and silence filled the air. Franko was tempted to turn back to the souffles lounge and see exactly what had transpired there, but quelled his curiosity and pushed on, one shuffling step at a time.

Back in the examination hall Friar Baker realized he was entirely alone, the examiners had all left while he was attempting to remove his Cinnabon from the floor. What could be taking Franko so long? I know he is old but it's only a few hundred steps to Corenelius Michaelandjello's office? I'd better go hurry him up before I'm out of time! He glanced up at the old clock that showed only 15 minutes left before his exam was over. The rules of Johnny Pennyworth Cordon Gusto Academy of Culinary Arts were strict. There were no retakes, there were no excuses. Historically exams had continued even as the Academy was being shelled in the Short Bread Incursion of 1812. Reportedly students had died of Betes during examinations during the great plague in the middle ages. Still the exams had continued, regardless of risk to instructors or students alike. He dared not fail.

Still the silence and emptiness worried him. He made up his mind to go find the fryolator himself and see where everyone had disappeared to. He left the Cinnabon coated in batter ready to be fried when he returned.

He quickly left the examination hall and caught up to Franko just a few steps down the hall.

"What on earth is taking so long Franko! We only have 15 minutes left to save that Cinnabon and I NEED THAT FRYOLATOR!" He screamed at the senior frosting assistant.

"Sir we are under attack! Guye Airfriery is drying out all the pastries! Franny just took a smashed black forest gateaux along to the infirmaries! What should we do?"

"Guye Airfriery?! Him again??? Why does this have to happen in the middle of my exam! You go get the fryolator and when you get back to the hall, make sure to fry that Cinnabon for EXACTLY 177 seconds! Not a second more! Ya hear me?" With that Friar took off towards the souffles lounge, leaving poor Franko to continue his aged shuffle towards Corenelius' office.

Friar could feel the heat pulsing outwards from the smashed doors of the souffles lounge. It was nearly enough to bubble his icing. Still he headed inside, knowing that someone would have to face Airfriery or it would spell doom for the Academy. He scooped up a couple of Caramel ninja stars from the floor at the entrance. He spotted a couple of unlit mallow Molotov's behind a chair and scooped them up as well. They obviously had not been enough to protect everyone from Airfriery's attacks, but he felt better equipped to face him with the extra weapons in hand. He could see an enormous henchman wielding a massive waffle iron in front of one of the large windows that looked out on the courtyard. Friar ducked behind a chaise lounge and quickly lit both Mallow Molotov's before standing and launching them both towards the Waffler. The giant stumbled back as the Molotov's spewed sticky burning Mallow all over him. He fell through the window with a crash and for a moment the air was filled with the dancing light of 1000 spun sugar shards crashing to the floor.

With the Waffler dealt with Friar found himself face to face with Guye Airfriery himself. The force of his airfrying pushed him back a little. He felt the frosting in his hair begin to bubble from the heat. The whole room sizzled. Guye seemed nonplussed by the presence of a simple pastry chef. He must have been expecting the Masters of the Academy. Michaelandjello, Donnajello, Leonutello, and Raffaello were no longer the warriors they were in their youth, nor was Master Sprinkler, their teacher! Still they were formidable in their knowledge and had taught their students well. The price paid by Guye to defeat so many of their students had been high. He had clearly lost many of his henchman.

If he is the only one left maybe I can handle him. Friar thought. If only I had brought all my weapons! He cursed himself for leaving the Bo Spatula and his rolling pin Nunchuku's back in the examination hall. He was far less skilled with the Bread Katana and Candycane Sai's. Still they were all he had other than the ninja stars. He quickly launched the stars at Guye, only to see them melt as they flew through the air towards him. His air friery power was too great, and the molten caramel flashed into steam before making contact with his goatee. Friar Baker charged, whipping out the Candycane Sais as he crossed the intervening space. Just as he got within striking distance he was distracted for a moment by one of the lower members of the schools faculty.

He was known as "Shredder" and yes, that was all he did. His job was to add shredded coconut to all of the pastries. He pranced around the room in the sizzling air, tossing coconut flakes like he didn't care. The distraction was just enough to throw both Guye and Friar off for a moment.

Guye turned his attention to "Shredder" long enough to blast him to a crisp. Burning Coconut flakes filled the air, but the momentary lapse of attention gave Friar the opportunity he needed. Candycane Sais slashed through the air, leaving a trail of sugary droplets bursting into steam behind them. With the snick sound of scissors snipping through hair, Guye Airfriery's goatee fell to the floor before bursting into flame in the intense heat.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOONNNNE!" He screeched, looking at the burning bundle of wispy hair on the floor. Suddenly the intensity of Guye's power grew and Friar was blasted back through the tortured doors by the force of his air friery power. Standing outside, shaking in the hallway, and clutching the blessed Cinnabon from the examination hall was Franko.

"FRRAAANKKKOOOO...." Friar groaned, "Help me up!" He slowly got to his feet, clutching at a burn on his side. "There isn't much time, thank you for bringing the Cinnabon, but I will need your walker as well." Without waiting for an answer he began disassembling the old mans walker into component pieces and within moments had fashioned an intimidating looking weapon with the deep fried Cinnabon mounted at one end. Friar grabbed the icing bag from his belt as well and attached it to the other end of the weapon. "It's ready Franko. My greatest creation! The DeepFrybrilator Bun Gun 9000 Deluxe! It should put an end to Guye Airfriery for good!"

With that Friar stepped back into the terrible, blistering heat of the souffles lounge, with one hand on the trigger. He shouted his final challenge to Guye.

"The hypoglecemia wave compels you!"

A sugary rush of light indigo lit the air as a vivid beam blasted forth from the DeepFrybrilator Bun Gun 9000 Deluxe as he shouted his challenge.

Guye responded

"Nay! Today we go carbless!"

A blast of yet more intense heat flooded the room as Guye's air friery power intensified into a beam of sizzling energy.

The beams crossed.