"I do not have their values defined rules and settings."
"I constantly don't know how to live."
"I think I'm just going with the flow."
At least once in your life you heard something like that, isn't it?
A reasonable question in such cases is how to find your guide in life?
The creation and development of their system of values is a complex thing and any one particular action will not do. Need regularly do several tasks that are arranged in a cycle.
Here it is.
1. The first rules should be simple
Any system starts with the simplest rules that create hard limits beyond which we cannot go.
In the beginning it should be very simple:
- Only 2-3 rules
- All rules should be easy to understand
- These rules must like you
- Rules are possible to implement right now
To most available to bring to you this system, I will give an example of 2 rules:
(a) "now the money is most important to me"
(b) I need to gain muscle mass".
IMPORTANT! The rules do not need anyone to explain and to argue. This is what exactly YOU want.
I call them "axioms" are rules that are not questioned. Just remember the geometry.
2. Install the duration of your rules
No need to set rules for the rest of his life. This is stupid and not effective. Set the first rules for 2 months.
Tell yourself: "my first rule will be in effect for only 2 months. I'll check how good they are. If I'm with these rules better, I will leave them, and if I get worse I will change them for other rules."
3. Follow these rules
Friends call you out for a drink on Friday evening? No.
You have a rule: "money is all that matters to me".
You do not spend money on alcohol, you WILL to stay at work and money became more.
Another example: you can't choose leisure on Saturday. You are choosing between going to the movies, go going to the gym. Of course, you choose the gym, because you have the rule: "I want to gain muscle mass these 2 months."
4. Measure progress
The rules much easier to follow if you can measure what you have going on now. You will understand if there's any progress.
You are don't in control of what don't measure.
Because our rules are the money and muscle mass, the metrics we choose the following:
- how much money I have on account
- my salary (profit of the business)
- my muscle mass
- my sports exercise
If your numbers grow, you will be this good.If you stand still, it can push you to think about how this can be changed and improved.
5. Give yourself feedback
** When the rules expire, ask yourself:** "Did I like these rules? Did I like my result?"
** If there is a lot of money and the salary has increased, then this is good. You gained +5 kg of muscle and began to look better? It's also good.
Want to continue living with these rules? **
"YES - NO". Like in a game.
It has become much clearer to you emotionally what is good and what is bad. Now you can repeat everything from the beginning.
In six months you will have a system.
** Set rules, follow them, and then give yourself feedback. Repeat this cycle again and again. After six months, you will be typed in a set of rules that you like and inspire, which give results and that you always follow.**
These will be your values. Your system, tested and tested on your personal experience.
PS. In computer games, everything is the same. There are rules (classes in RPGs, weapons in shooters, etc.), there is progress (the amount of experience, money, health, killed monsters).
It is for this that many people like games because there is always a system there. You can do the same in real life.