I've been thinking lately about how you grow in this life. My last post here was about not feeling very figured out, and so I guess I've been on an introspective bent, lately. In a place right now, where I'm trying out the things that work, and the things that don't.
And one of the ideas that keeps cropping up is that you need to be really careful about the people you have around. In a generation where everyone's looking for people to "vibe with", who am I to go against the current? So I've been focusing on the people in my life who make me happy, and more importantly, the people who feed my soul, and help me grow. I'm focusing on listening to my gut, and observing the people it calls out for, whose presence I actively desire (and not just accept or tolerate) in my life.
To put it simply, I think of these characters as good people. People who want what's best for me, maybe. Or maybe just friends who let my spirit shine. I'm thinking that finding the people you want and don't want in your life isn't that complicated. Or at least, shouldn't be. Sometimes, it's just a matter of listening to your gut.
Give you an example, I have this friend, and every Thursday, we have a class together, and afterwards, we walk home together, since we live only a couple of streets away from one another. Now, it's not a walk I'd normally take, since it's quite lengthy, and time-consuming, not to mention it gets quite late. But I do, as often as we both can. It's about an hour, an hour and a half, something like that. And every single time, by the time I get home, I feel so light, and airy. Not stupid happy, but peaceful and grounded. I don't touch my phone during our walk, I don't play music, and I don't think about work, or anything that might be stressful. We just walk together, see where conversation takes us, take in the night. She's very wise, and... light, this friend of mine. And it's funny, 'cause it took me a really long time to realize that this wasn't just some random activity I engaged in, but one that was good, and helpful, and one I should seek more of.
See, I think that's where the difference is. It's between random activities we do just to say we did something, and finding the things that actually allow us to grow, and nurture our inner light. I'm quite antisocial by nature, so I don't spend time with a lot of people, by default, but I'm trying to make sure that the people I do have in my life are good people. A lot of these personal coaches will tell you to surround yourself with entrepreneurs and go-getters. I don't know about that, I'm sure it has its benefits. Obviously, you want a social circle that encourages you to grow.
But for now, I'm focusing on surrounding myself with good people. People whose presence and energy is light, and charges you with your own good energy, rather than drain it. 'Cause I don't think it's that hard, once you start looking at the people in your life a little more honestly. I think your soul already knows which ones work and which could be chucked. You're just opposing it because you're a nice person, or are afraid of being "alone".
"I'm lucky to be here,
With someone I like
That causes my spirit to shine"
I used to listen to this song when I was 17, and had just met my first serious boyfriend. And I recently started listening to it again, after meeting someone whose energy impacted me in a similar manner. And for a hot minute there, I thought "oh, so I guess I'm just liking this old song again". But then, I realized it wasn't that. It was my gut telling me that's what I'm doing, and what I need to keep doing - seek out the people who cause my spirit to shine. Maybe finding your tribe is real. Maybe you belong to it, already, and just don't know. Maybe there's people out there who know you from a previous life.
Ain't got no answers, but I think being open to the possibility, for now, will have to be good enough.
Isn't that so awesome when you cross paths with someone you really vibe with? Enjoy getting to know this person and spending time with them this summer. I totally believe that we're reincarnated with the same group of people, time and time again to learn lessons together and experience life...kind of like a cohort in school.
I was just thinking about that today, this "keep reincarnating in the same circle" thing. I was thinking that whenever we're talking about soulmates (and I don't think of that on a sexual/romantic level, necessarily), we ask "but how will you meet them?" or "what a lucky coincidence that you found each other"... but what if it's not a coincidence at all? What if you're meant to?
So how do you know you've met someone like that, d'you think? :)
I really don't believe in coincidences much at all anymore. The older I get the more I believe that people and circumstances come into our lives at the precise time they're meant to for the lessons we (and they're) meant to learn. In reality, we become each other's mirrors. We learn the most about ourselves through our interactions and relationships with others. We have free will to a large degree because it's up to us to recognize that "feeling" or "sense of ease/attraction/knowing" that we get when we cross paths with them. We can also choose if we want to cultivate a friendship with them or not. In my experience I've discovered the lessons aren't always easy or pleasant but if we are aware, establish and respect boundaries, and know our true worth then we ultimately become better people because of our interactions with these people that give us a spark.
Well said. I was thinking of this, and was kinda tempted to say "of course that's not possible". But then it kinda hit me... what the hell do I know about life that makes me so sure? Now, I kinda think you ignore these sparks at your peril.
You're right, though, it pays to remain aware, and respect yourself. Thank you for all that :) it's been on my mind, and this really gave me a straightforward answer. "Yes, but watch yourself. Always."
Thanks! Einstein said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” I tend to believe the latter. It's amazing what can happen when we open ourselves up to that way of thinking. Our brains can have away of explaining things away sometimes and I think we miss out on some incredible things because of it.
You're welcome!