Today's been weird. A murder of crows was crowded around my window. Then I got a random call from New Mexico. The guy on the line said something that I couldn't quite make out due to the bad connection. But it sounded like he might have said, "I'm actually calling to inform you you're an asshole." I hung up and wondered what else the guy, who was likely just another telemarketer, could have said that sounded like that. Or maybe it was just a friendly reminder.
Five days ago, one of my roommates tested positive for covid and my household adopted quarantine protocols. We designated one of our two bathrooms a covid bathroom and started wearing masks in the common areas. We started cleaning household surfaces with alcohol wipes after every use and organized kitchen time to avoid each other while cooking. I've felt fine the whole time, but I'm still waiting for a test to confirm that I'm covid free.
On the day this began, I appeared on the Uncomfortable Conversations podcast, participating in a two hour chat about my disturbing high school experience in the 1990s. The podcast felt like the culmination of years of inner work I've done to process and make sense of that period in my life. It both stirred things up and settled them in a new way.
So I've been reflecting on that, stuck in my tiny room, not even seeing my roommates' faces. While I've been keeping up on work, my off time has mostly been spent doing nothing. I watched all of Hanna on Amazon. I've read all the news and listened to songs I like on repeat. Quarantine protocols are likely to remain in effect in my house for the next several days at least, and I'm already restless. More than restless, I'm missing unmediated human interaction.
Meanwhile, I've been watching dangerous new narratives emerge in popular media. The blues are talking about a new civil war. The reds have started labeling society's new normal 'Mass Formation Psychosis.' Beyond these partisan trends, the government's ongoing UFO disclosure keeps making the news. This at least leaves me feeling a little hopeful.
One thing that's been on my mind lately is the power of mystery. Historically, people had regular contact with deep mystery, mediated by religious rituals. Today, in secular society, ritual has largely fallen by the wayside, leaving people without prescribed means to interact with the unknown. This absence of ritual causes problems in the best of times. In the dystopia that our society has become, it contributes to anomie and perceptions of meaninglessness.
At the same time, our culture is grappling with death on a level not seen for generations. Modernity does its best to keep this hidden behind clinical sterility, but there's no hiding nearly a million covid deaths in the US alone. I'm not at all sure we're coping with this effectively as a society. My own family seems to be doing alright with it, but I have friends who aren't faring so well.
In a roundabout way, that's part of why I see hope in the UFO thing. It's a mystery that science so far appears unable to penetrate, but it's no longer taboo to talk about it. My suspicion is that the mystery of UFOs will keep pointing back to the deeper mystery of consciousness. Actually, I think all mysteries eventually point back to this one.
Applying this to my big mystery of the day, I wonder what being called an asshole by some random guy in New Mexico has to do with my consciousness. Was this something that I needed to hear for some reason? How does having this information change things, if at all? I guess maybe I'll try to be less of an asshole in the future. I mean, this is something I already strive for, but there may be room for additional improvement.
(Feature image from Pixabay.)
Read my novels:
- The Paradise Anomaly is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Psychic Avalanche is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- One Man Embassy is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Flying Saucer Shenanigans is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Rainbow Lullaby is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- The Ostermann Method is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
- Blue Dragon Mississippi is available in print via Blurb and for Kindle on Amazon.
Check out the comic I wrote:
- Finney Vol 1 Immutable Journey is available as a free e-comic.
Read my autobiographical monograph:
- Navigating Dystopia can be read for free or purchased as an NFT.
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