A Christmas Sale

in #life3 years ago

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What are you up to?

The Good Lady peered over at me suspiciously, her face wrinkling up as if she had smelt a morning loaf freshly baked from my brown oven.

Nothing...

I tipped the laptop I was tap-tap-tapping away on, away from her so she couldn't see the screen.

Yes you are, you are up to something?

She took a couple of steps forward, her little arms poking out in front of her, like one of those shitey stop-motion dinosaurs from a seventies movie.

I am not, now kindly give me some space, please.

Even though she was still some four or five feet away, I twisted and turned to keep the laptop facing away from her as if I were one of those remote Tribal men that tie their penises together as part of their coming of age ritual.

You are acting really suspicious? Wait, no? You're not looking at porn, are you? For fuck sake, it's the middle of the day and the kids are about?!

The Good Lady beetled her brow fiercely at the thought of such audacity.

She pointed a finger and took a step closer, her nostrils flaring angrily as if she were about to clamp my head in her vagina and burst it like a ripe pimple.

Of course, I am not looking at porn! For God's sake. I am just fannying around on the net?!

I sniffed righteously.

I was not looking at porn. After all, it wasn't even midday and a gentleman never troubled his nethers with porn before the stroke of twelve.

Can't a man look at some funny cat videos for five minutes without his Good Lady getting all gnarly-warly with jealousy these days?

I shook my head at the Good Lady's folly and made to flip the laptop screen closed.

Not so fast Sparky.

Her voice flailed out like an electric whip and I spasmed slightly as it struck me.

The Good Lady swaggered toward me. Now, no longer jerky and stop-motion'y. Now she was all lithe limbs and power. Like an Iguana with a fin glued to its back.

If you were just looking at funny cat videos then I am sure you won't mind if I have a little...LOOK!

She leapt forward and seized the laptop hauling it out of my flaccid grasp.

Nooooooooooooooo....!!

I yelled, reaching a hand out as she turned the screen toward herself.

Everything seemed to be unfolding in slow motion, my beautiful man hands which could easily belong to a twenty-year-old, reaching, reaching, reaching out toward the silvery slab of computeriness in her hands.

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

The Good Lady smirking as she got the screen in view and then that smirk falling from her face like feathers from a sunburned goose.

What?! What is this? No? Surely you aren't?

The Good Lady looked at me and my face burned red with shame.

Yes, yes I was. I'm sorry.

The Good Lady closed the laptop with a sad sounding snick.

I can't believe it. You're buying Hive? Again?? Let me guess, it's on 'Sale?'

I stood and stretched out a hand for the laptop, shuffling my feet and avoiding her gaze.

Yeah, it's really cheap, so I thought...

The Good Lady let go of the laptop and sighed.

Do what you want, Daddy-Bear. Just remember what you once told me, every time you buy it, it drops in price.

She turned away.

Not this time baby, I promise. This time it will be different!

I whined at her retreating back.

It would be different this time. I just knew it.

After she had left the room, I opened the laptop. My sale had gone through minutes ago at 448 sats.

The price was now 420.

Bollocks.

Sort:  

I've missed seeing you pop up in my feed. Welcome back.

Note to self, only buy Hive after Boomy, when it's cheaper.

Lol!!! That is a very good idea. Perhaps it should be noted as a buy signal in crypto circles... Quick, Boomy's just bought some, look out for the crash!

I've missed writing! Thought I had best get back in the saddle in case I died of boredom :0)

You can be the crypto canary. Although I’m not entirely sure that makes sense, now I write it. 🤔

It makes perfect sense, in fact I think I have actually called myself that before!!! Lolz

I can’t believe I am reading this now! But hey, I live under a rock!

Love to see you back.

Oh just to rub it in Hive = 350 sats :)

You can always show the good lady the reason for the low price is the rally in Bitcoin! Against USD it’s flat. And it is even rallying against Iraqi Dinar and Venezuelan Bolivar!

Another day another Iraqi dinar man ;)

Hey rock man! ;O)

Hells bells. I am going to be talking about the Iraqi Dinar from now to kingdom come if it gets me some kudos!!

I still have it, I am just gonna power the damn stuff up once Bittrex opens up its wallets again. Unless of course, it leaps up into the stratosphere!

It's true.. you did buy HIVE (I had a sneaky peek). Don't tell the good lady about shit like this, it's man stuff!

Lol. I've not sent it over yet. I have the fear that as soon as I power it up it will moon!! Not necessarily a bad thing!

The man stuff will be kept to the men.. ooer!!

Explain to the good lady ... you weren't buying hive, you were investing in her new jewellery.

Welcome back.

Hola!!!

Yes, that might work. It is kinda true unless everything goes to shit and then it will be jewellery made out of paper mache and string! :OD

!ENGAGE 30 !

Thank you for your engagement on this post, you have recieved ENGAGE tokens.

Oh good to see you posting Boom.

Cheers mate! Not gonna do the daily thing but will throw the odd one down :OD

I hear ya...it can be grueling!

Welcome back!

Cheers mate! It was nice having a short break but also nice returning!

Hahaha I laughed hard on this!

Hehe, magic! Glad to hear it! :OD

Instant price dump, but I am sure it will be better come Feb. 14th. It will be a day to live in either love and luxury, or to stand back and watch the price massacre. Or you could on Feb 14th just listen to Alice's Restaurant.

On that day I shall buy sone more knowing that the power of love will bring the price to new dizzying heights!! I mean by then it will probably be unable to go any lower, at least at the rate it is sinking :0)

@meesterboom, I already missed your occurrences ha ha ha, the good lady has a very defined profile of you thinking that you were watching porn ha ha ha, and the part that you say my beautiful hands ha ha ha ha ha, you definitely made my day.
Take good care of yourself while they give us the vaccine against covid 19 :)

Hey dudemeister!

Cheers, I am glad to be back! Yes indeed, she knows me too well. She has a very poor opinion of me. One day I will prove that all of my misguided crytpo nonsense has worked out. Either that or I can abandon her and the children and live on an exotic island that I have purchased with all my profits! LOLZ!

I believe in your words ha ha ha, GOD bless you for being my friend and making me smile :)

A smile is worth its weight in gold these days! Cheers man!

Bah humbug you are a jinx lol. I used to think it was just me as everything I touched dropped in value after buying lol. Merry Christmas to all of you at the Boom household.

Hehe, it's not just you. Maybe it's all of us!!! I have been spectacularly lucky with it of late. Every time I buy it almost halves in price!! How the funk!?! :0D

It is strange that in our heads it seems now is the time and low and behold it isn't. This is why I think earning Hive has it's benefits as if you earn it and buy some then the cost is not that important.

Yeah, I missed earning the damn stuff. How can I buy my pointless hive-engine tokens without earnings!! ;0)

Some I don't think will be worthless as there are some decent communities slowly emerging. Stem I have noticed is slowly coming up in the world along with a few others. Holding some "maybe" will be lucrative in the future. Maybe I know is a big word but then again what do we know as I am holding sports which funny enough I am more positive about these days as there is some kind of plan hatching.

Hehe, yeah some are doing ok. I was teasing in that respect. I have a few thousand stems and hoping to add more gradually. Missed the boat on LEO but what can you do. I saw some positive comments about sports here and there lately. Who knows, it might come good and you will be king of everything!!

Lol or king of nothing. I got the teasing bit as well but don't think we have missed the boat on Leo and why I am slowly staking. Not exactly the stake I would like right now however and why we must pay attention to the tribes a bit more. I need to push the sports transformation as it is in my best interest obviously and why I will get it going how it should. Not going to flog a dead horse as there is life in that beast yet and it only needs common sense and brains.

Well, you go in hopefully with the right timing. It's not always the best price.
Happy Holidays.

Hey Ace!! Hope you are well! I am going we hit bottom. Otherwise the good lady will be right again!! :0)

It could worst. It could be better.
Count our blessings. 😎

Indeed. This next year will hopefully be a much better one. Or at least one with a bit more normality!

I'm hopeful but doubtful because one big question on how long the vaccine is effective for remains unanswered.

If it can last at least six months to a year then we can hopefully get enough people done so that it is eradicated. High hopes but it's either that or give in!

hello dear friend @meesterboom good morning
I don't know why women think that men only watch pornography, we also do men's things buy Hive. Excellent choice.
I take this opportunity to wish you a happy new year, may it come to you loaded with beautiful emotions, happiness, health, peace and prosperity

Hola @jlufer!!! I hope you had a lovely Christmas and that your new year will be a prosperous one!!

Yes, they are obsessed with the pr0n, they don't realise that we have other follies!! :0D

Thanks for driving the price down. I may have to buy some more. I'd hope it will be much higher this time next year. It really ought to do better than ST--M at least.

If that's the worst your missus catches you doing then you are no so bad.

I wish I had learnt my lesson but alas, the more it goes down the more I feel like it is the bargain of the century. I am hopeful that at some point a bottom will be in and the sellers are outpaced by the buyers.

The worst she ahs caught me with this time :OD

Very funny... Like seriously. Did this happen really or you formed it up. This is really good and I wish I can write like this.

I'm quite new to crypto so I have little to no understanding of sats, satoshi I guess.

Lol. It did indeed happen. My wife thinks i am am idiot when I buy crypto in general and more so when I buy hive. She doesn't realise one day we will be full on lambo!! ;0D

Yeah you need to sell her the vision you see in Hive. I would buy more if I have more cash to myself.

Moreover, you write well and earn good rewards. I will say you should blog often which is what I would probably do for building sake.

It's funny you should say that, I used to blog daily, for almost 4 years. Then I took a short break. Don't worry, I know the ways to glory!

I am waiting to see if the amount I bought pumps or if I should just power it up. I suspect it will be getting powered up :OD

I would like if you show me the way to glory. I am new here, though my account was created 2 years ago. I left steem not too long while I joined because I understood nothing and came back on Hive this year June. So I am practically 6 months old here.

I see you give out leases. If you power up and you want to give out lease you could consider my lease request on dlease, 5000 HP in 22 pieces and an APR of 13.5%.

You might be wondering why I need such amount of lease. That's because my country people have little support on Hive plus I run a community which I need to give support to publications in there. You can check my community here

Damn! you have such a massive followers with following none. I don't know if you would not mind following a growth aspiring and dedicated Hiver like me.

Something happened to my followers. I used to follow about 500 of them until today when I followed the mute list of Hive.Blog and when I clicked my following feed they were all gone. I have started adding them back in but it will be a slow slog. I would be pleased to follow you!

I am cancelling my lease outward. It is to LEOFinance but I want my HP back now.

I did recognise the name from the past. I think you may have commented on a post of mine before :O)

Heh.. I have commented on your post maybe for a few times. Yeah everyone wants the leo with their 16% APR in LEO which is quite huge. I also wanted to do the same but I have a lot to do for others I need every bit of my voting power.

The same problem you had, few of my friends had the same too. Luckily for me, I got heads up on it so I won't make the same mistake.

Hahaha 🤣🤣🤣 oh my goodness boomy, how I have missed your wife... I mean your stories hehe

Just recently back myself after a reeeeeeaaaaallllly long time! Hoping to figure out this hive thing.

Great to see you, Merry belated Christmas to you and yours!

C, and the bullies x

266BB5C6-6B7A-4B44-976F-6ACAC905654D.jpeg

Hello!!! I knew I had seen those big gorgeous dogs about!! :0)

Good to see you on here. I do love it when I see a familiar face as it were!

Happy new year when it comes!!!

Ahhh! So you're the reason for the sale at the moment! I've been trying to put my finger on it (not a euphemism)!

With HivePUD coming up soon and that big fuck-off level 5 bee badge up for grabs, I'm going to have to go for it. Also been looking at some of the other Hive Engine tokens, reckon there's a few good ones to get stuck in to - LEO for a start but others might be making some movements too!

Anyway, Merry belated Xmas!

Merry belated Xmas dude!!

It's me, it's all me. I am the price man, see me buy, watch it fall. From now on I will publish my buys for the community to take advantage of!! :0D

I have my eye on a few too, mainly thinking that if you pick up a few thousand for peanuts them if they come good you are laughing

!ENGAGE 30

Haha that's quite a public service you'll be providing!

Yeah good call on getting a few thousand of those tokens in. I'm looking at just earning through posting on those communities and adding bit by bit with the leases. Have found delegating to certain accounts gives you tokens as well which is always cool.

Tokens like BRO, LBI AND SPI also give you some extra dividends passively, I'm all up for getting stake to work for me seeing as I am a naff curator 😁

I will have to look into BRO actually. I have seen the odd post about but never looked alt further into it. I always liked the idea of what I had seen and should really get some tokens.

I'm a naff curator as well. I just vote any old random shit regardless of rewards. Lol

I had forgotten about posting in their communities. Doh, it's funny how the simplest thing slips by you at times!!! Cheers for the memory jog!

Yeah there's some on the open market/Hive-engine. If not then BROAG might also be worth looking into but info is on the brofund page. Hard to keep up with all this stuff sometimes, I struggle myself! So much going on when all we really just want to do is share our content lol!

I take away the stress of curating and just delegate everything out, becomes someone else's problem to do something with then haha! As long as I get something back which most projects offer then no biggie!

Yeah I tend to use the first 5 tags as relevant to the post as that is what gets indexed then use community tags after depending on relevance to that community - otherwise you have the general ones like palnet neoxian archon etc

I used to use the tags in that way them I just stopped, I can't even remember why. I think it was when the tribes were all dying. Or at least looked to be dying.

Obviously before the second coming of the tribes!

Thank you for your engagement on this post, you have recieved ENGAGE tokens.

Yay your back and still as mad as ever. Great to see you back and writing, Def missed these posts and your comments. :)

Karen baby!!! Nice to see you!!! I am back and fucked up all my following by clicking one of those daft links at the top of my blog. Don't do it!!

It's nice to be back :0)

Oh Buga, Glad it wasn't because you were ill. Hope you didn't lose anything, don't go clicking links, I know how much you like clicking naughty links haha :)

It was those daft new ones at the top of the profile page. The blacklist and muted list ones. I clicked them and it said click ok to follow hive.blog's mute list and I did and I lost all my following people. Have had to go back from memory and try to add them all again!!

If only it was a naughty link! Lol

That's a bit odd having those links there. I kept checking your page for any movement, thought the dreaded covid had caught you.

Lol. It hasn't caught me yet although going for a test this morning!!

Pain in the arse it is

OUCH, hubby had one before his operation, they look nasty. You may need a drink after to help you feel better. Hope you get the all clear :)

😁

420, but around the corner, we'll all be eating a different kind of loaf and scoffing at those that didn't purchase during the trip through the mire!

Hells bells, its 434 now. I can almost taste the caviar!!

:OD

Sheesh mate! haven't you a password set to re-enter the operating system once you've flipped the laptop screen closed?

Wadda hazard if you don't!! LoL

Glad to see your funny stuff on my feed one more time my friend. And yeah, I hope you are enjoying big time of a Happy Holidays! :)

Passwords!?! Didn't someone once say they are for the weak!?

We have no truck with passwords in this house. She won't let me!!! :0F

!ENGAGE 30

Passwords!?! Didn't someone once say they are for the weak!?

Yeah! only singletons say that.

We have no truck with passwords in this house. She won't let me!!! :0F

You see? you are already a class apart my dear friend. :D

I don't think I am top of that class... Hahahaha!!!

"Scabies with pleasure doesn't itch"

Congratulations @meesterboom! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Your post generated a lot of interactions and was the most commented of the day

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Do not miss the last post from @hivebuzz:

First Hive Power Up Day of 2021 - Get a Hive Power delegation
Offer a gift to your friends for Christmas

Oooo, lovely!! Cheers! :0)

Best way to end the year. Congratz 🎉

Thanks for continuing to make Hive awesome.

Hehe, cheers mate!

Why do women assume that men watch porn a lot?
As if that is even a thing.

It might go up again though, Hive I mean, at some point it has too.

Great reading from you again Mr. Mastertree. :-)

Yo dude!!

Yes, you never know, it might go back up, after all, it's running out of room to go any further down the way :0D

The only way is up mate! 😁👍

You're back too? Brah! I see peoples are coming back, Happy New year <3

Aye, can't stay away!! :0)

Happy new year to you too when it comes!

Stop buying hive Boomy, or you'll force the price down to bloody nothing!

Just kidding, nice buy price...Now...It can go right up!

Also, I'm glad I badgered you enough to get this post in mate. Nice work. (Good to see you got the photo sorted, and there was no vagina-pimple busting.)

Hehe, I guess I just needed that little nudge. Cheers for that!!

I've stopped now but I am in a quandary. Should I power it up or wait and see if it goes moon and sell!! First world problems, eh! :0)

!ENGAGE 30 !!

You owe me a nudge-back should I ever lapse into the non-posting habit.

I'm powering up on hive power up day. What the hell right?

When is that? I always get confused.

I shall be there with the nudging!!! :0D

1st of the month I think. There's a clock on hivebuzz, under the challenges tab.

Cool. I shall wait till then and be ready with the PUD bananas!!

Nice...You'll get a PUD badge on hivebuzz too I think.

Wow - welcome back - I thought you had disappeared - was very surprised to see your name pop up. Hope all is well on your side

Hey hey lass!! I am like a bad smell. You never know when it is going to turn up! :O)

I am grand though, hope you and the family are too

Hectic year with many twists and turns but still kicking thanks

Hahaha at least you were caught on buying Hive and nothing else. Saved your reputation

I bought lots of others! Which although they tanked then are looking mighty fine now. Happy days!