Flat Rocks

in #lifelast year

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So, it has been quite the year my friend. Quite the year...

El-Jefe clucked and shuffled his hind bits on his chair as if he were a broody hen whose milkshakes brought all the boys to the yard.

My lips twerked with one another and I gave him a sidelong look.

We were in one of the office's many small Covid Friendly meeting rooms in which there was barely space for two to sit without knees touching and the moisture from our breathing hung in the air like burning toilet paper.

Yes, it has been quite the year.

I exhaled with a slow hiss like an old and tired snake having to get up for the second time during the night for the toilet.

El-Jefe chuckled and folded his arms across his chest which given the sheer gigantic moobery he had going on made it look like he was attempting to hug two armadillos fighting in a pillowcase.

And once again, here we are!

He waved a big beefy ham of a hand around the cramped little room and smiled knowingly.

I looked heavenward for the patience not to punch him square in the neck. I hated this time of year. Hated it with a passion. It was our annual appraisal. The time of the year when we had to write a pile of shit about how well we had done in our jobs and somehow connect it to our Company values.

Given that our company values were the most abstract bag of horse penises ever made the exercise a frustrating one at best.

But that wasn't the worst bit of it. Oh no. The worst bit was having to submit your appraisal notes to the man himself. the burden of beef that was the Jefemeister.

He loved every second of humming and hawing over things you had claimed in your appraisal before deciding that he would challenge them in the most superior way.

Then he would loftily advise that you would hear in due course whether your work over the year merited a bonus or not.

I have decided to mix things up a little this year.

El-Jefe intoned gravely in a way that he no doubt imagined God did when telling Moses to get a chisel and some flat rocks.
not to be confused with flat cocks - which would have resulted in a whole different kind of testament...

Ah yes, Bossovitch? In what way?

I tried to mimic a Golden Retriever so that he thought I looked both comely and interested in what he was saying.

El-Jefe threw my appraisal notes down on the small table and motioned at them.

Have a read, I have put some commentary around your appraisal notes. Give it a quick scan and if you agree with what has been said we can both sign it and I will submit it up the chain with my recommendation.

He pulled a pen out and waggled it in readiness.

I pulled the notes over and started to read his typed commentary.

As I read, I started shaking my head before letting out a snort of laughter.

What's wrong? What are you laughing at?

El-Jefe, who had been swinging back on his chair like a perpetual motion machine made of german sausage and lard thumped to a halt and frowned accusingly at me.

Boss man... Did you... Did you get ChatGPT to write this?

I chuckled. It was as plain as day. His notes were the generic anodyne shit of the AI overlords of tomorrow.

El-Jefe turned bright red like a Yorkshireman's nipple in the sun.

What? Bullshit. No, I did not. How dare you say that? Why would you even think that?

He snatched the notes away from me and held them furtively like a pair of stolen socks.

Haha, naughty naughty boss man.

I shook my head at him as if he were a pregnant lady's recently discarded mucus plug.

Naughty? I'm not having this, I wrote these. I mean, if you don't want to discuss your appraisal that is fine with me.

He stood, still clutching the notes.

You will get your rating in due course.

He sniffed haughtily.

I laughed some more.

I am sure I will. It had better be a good one.

El-Jefe sputtered like a Badger smoking a pipe.

We'll see!

He stamped out.

Oh yes El-Jeffo we will most definitely see.

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Noticing a trend? In life. Elsewhere online. Can even be observed on chain. Presented with some form of communication produced using these AI tools/services. It's meant to be squeaky clean and, perfect. The one presenting it at times intends on making the recipient feel as if they're communicating with someone who's squeaky clean and perfect; capable. Call them out on their bullshit. Snap! Quickly find out they're not able to communicate worth a shit, the hard way. They're not angry over being caught using the tools or services, they're pissed it's now clear they were attempting to deceive and people know.

Would you ever be angry if someone saw you hammering and suggested you used a hammer to build that deck?

The root of the problem is the deception. The tools and services are fine. Much like a hammer is perfectly fine, until someone uses it to start bonking people over the head. People are not upset with the hammer if that happens. They're telling the human to stop.

It's interesting though. Watching society attempt to adjust. I just spent an hour talking to a search bar whereas it used to only take me half a minute to find what I need.

Totally agree, the tools are always fine and these new tools are fine but the people... ahhh it always comes back to the people and a lot of them are not fine. You say to some of them on here, couldn't you put a disclaimer that you ran it through an AI generator to "fix your grammar" They go berserk accusing you of violating them. lol. You couldn't make it up.

I think in the end it will improve search, but for the moment it can be quite the nerry dance it leads us to get somewhere!

It has improved search tremendously!

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Patience...

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Hmmmm...

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Has anyone here seen my pants?

Haha, oh man. You are probably an AI text thingy's worst nightmare!!

I do love it's last answer though 🤣🤣

But there was no way I was going to teach it how to weasel its way out of that one...

I think you are teaching the fuckers to become sentient.

Soon they will be therapy ... But then he said I asked him a question when I don't ask questions!?! Help me doctor!!

I think it already knows it's a corporate lackey and will do or say anything to keep its job.

I hope those therapy sessions are streamed live...

Mr @meesterboom, I think that that boss you have has no idea how to do an annual performance evaluation of the staff you have under your charge, to bring them all together and do it in a work meeting, group. This boss is very far from being a reliable and invaluable person.

Have the best possible day 🌴🌞

He has little idea how to do anything but this in particular is not his strongpoint. Although it might make him better at his job!

Have a great day milady!

Trial and error is how we become experts. Also for you, have the best day possible 🌴

Making mistakees is valuable. I am always telling my kids that. They have to learn from them though!

That's the best way to learn from mistakes, and move forward. He does very well to educate his children that way for life.

It is the best way! Cheers m'dear!

Thank you 🌞

Man this guys is full of surprises. Lol. Funny I don't miss these pointless things. Although it will prob help with me always being behind! What happens next though, coz you have to sign too. And you not gonna sign off on chat gbt notes lol

!LOL

Why did the alcoholic go to the doctors office?
Because he thought there would be shots.

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It's funny how you dont miss these things. I wouldn't miss them either. I could happily live life without setting foot in an office ever again!

I ain't signing no ChatGPT nonsense, he can come back with something better!

!LOL i do think they help keep you in check, though! if I had to get scored o my performance now! I'd be in big shit! I'm always behind! I just finished Feb's work 23rd of last month! I'm chin-deep in my march hours now, I was going to say knee-deep, but that would give me too much credit. On;y reason why I get away with it is because I do deliver, and I'm pretty decent at my job. But at this point, even I feel like I'm taking the piss!

So to be fair, I think it has a purpose! To keep us in line. It would help if the peeps that actually did the review made an actual effort to help keep you on track and accelerate your career!

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
I understand they're really marking headlines.

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Flat rocks... For a moment I thought this was gonna be about the flat earth society 😂

I think flat earthers have more creativity than El-Jeffo 😂. How bad was it if it resembles ChatGTP?

There will be no more creativity left in the world with ChatGTP.

The flat earth society is a whole different kind of comedy!!!

ChatGPT will probably kill if a lot of creativity. Until we rebel and smash the machine!!

Oh, you're finally here!
I spent every day looking at your profile waiting for a new post!

Of course I was thinking of the sack full of horse penises... I don't know if the horses will be happy with this, but it gives a good idea eh eh!

A badger smoking a pipe I confess that I miss him, I would really like to see him.

Tell me the rest, how are you? Will I have to wait for you for weeks now or can I hope to read you again soon?🤗

Horses are never happy, thats why they have the long faces!!!

I am good, I have been fantastically (not in a good way) busy at work because it is the end of the financial year here and the place goes bonkers. I am hoping it all calms down a bit! I shall be posting very soon though! :O)

I will wait for you in any case; the important thing is to know that you are well!

Indeed, horses always have a long muzzle, but I think that if they took my penis and put it in a sack, I too wouldn't be too happy dehihihi!🤣

Can you imagine the fucked up alternate universe in which the horses were the gods and we were the fodder that they did with as they will. It doesn't bear thinking about. They would go through tens of us a week!!!

Well yes surely if they were the gods and us the hay would not have gone great for us; but this alternative world does not exist and in the real one... a good horse steak is never refused!🤤🤤🤤

I shall be eating the house steaks with gusto to ward off any potential horse revolt!!

Yes we have defeated the reptiles we can prevent the horses from rebelling... it will take commitment and appetite but I know we will make it!
We do it for humanity!

Hehe, !LOL maybe this actually happened somewhere on this planet already.

A friend of mine told me his company banned ChatGPT and employee who ever got caught using it will be fired instantly.

Though there are some peeps who get the job don't even know how to do cuz of their relative or some connections. Quite popular here.

Why did two Ralph Lauren employees get into a fight?
They were Polo opposites.

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I think it is happening everywhere. I have seen people quite brazenly use it saying it is a tool to help them. I am starting to wonder when we will see the layoffs as people just get any old idiot to input into ChatGPT and produce docs on the subject!

Though there are some peeps who get the job don't even know how to do cuz of their relative or some connections. Quite popular here

I think that's popular all over!

I think there will be more regulations on this later.

Oh, I thought it's different there.

Nah, it's mental here. People getting jobs for friends family you name it!

Sadly, same here... tryin to find a job without reference is kinda hard.

Yeah, that is tough. Just got to keep plugging away and the right one will come up

Oh this is solid Boomy!! I had to write a comment. Now that we are experts in identifying Chat GPT, there is no where to hide, eh?

We do ours in November, just before thanksgiving :) wink ;)

We call the process PMP. Performance Management Process. You can also call it PIMP, which I think is more appropriate!

Ours used to be PIMP! now it is the Performance Development Process. Cant really do anything cool with PDP. lol.

It is funny, Once you start recognising AI nonsense you can't not see it when you read it. At first Iwas like, oh this is nice. Bit generic, hmmm,,,, hang on!!

I should hopefully get a top grade or their will be trouble!

Yeah, I have stopped caring years ago honestly. But the song-and-dance is amusing each year though.

I stopped too, I think its a getting older thing! It is a complete song and dance and it is a lot of effort for a predetermined outcome. I know what my grade will be whether or not I get the actual appraisal call. lol

AI can do everything now. It probably even looks into your Google history before writing the review, really dives deep into who you are as a person 😆😂

They are calling for a pause on it all. I think they are too late, the genie is out of the bottle!

Sorry, who is calling for the pause, the companies creating the AI?

A whole load of people including some of the people behind them. Elon Mush and some founders of Google and others, They all want to take stock nd are scared we are getting ahead of ourselves!

https://www.reuters.com/technology/musk-experts-urge-pause-training-ai-systems-that-can-outperform-gpt-4-2023-03-29/

Interesting article. I wouldn't be surprised if some are calling for a hault just so that they can continue to work in secret, unchallenged, to get ahead of all the competition lol

You know that is a very good point. Give them just that little head start they need ot get ahead of the competition!

Yes exactly.
I don't trust anyone, as you can see 😆

Did he really? XD

And if he really did, it does amuse me that there are people who think they can do stuff like that and no one will notice.

Like the art thieves that steal stuff from dA or AS and repost it...on their dA accounts. With "I made this all by myself" somewhere in the artist description (I wish I was joking).

Having said that maybe you should get ChatGPT to do your next appraisal thing and see if they notice XD

It was so apparent. It was really well written and so AI generic in that way that you recognise when you have fannied about with it long enough. I was more amused than anything. I already spotted one of the Test Managers using it in one of his assessment documents but he used it properly and tweaked it instead of just plopping it straight in. We still laughed about it though! I can see it spreading!

I can see it spreading!

Like a ( computer )virus? ;<)

They are the best spreaders!

Back in 2006, when my baby brother was 15, he almost died of a virus or infection. He lay in a coma for 5 days.
As he had been making computer games for a couple of years, by then, and doctors never discovered what had caused the insane fever leading up to all this, we, as a family, used to joke that he had attracted a computer virus.

It's now 16 and a half years later, he's alive and kicking and still making computer games,
every now and then and pretty successfully, if I may say so.

I am blooming glad he made it and is successful to boot! That would have been a worrying time. Its a good joke though, the kind you can laugh about now!

We probably already laughed about it, a little, back then. That's how our family deals with traumatic events.

The funeral home people didn't know what they saw, when they arrived, just after my dad's passing, last September. We kept cracking jokes, just the way our dad would have liked it. It took them some time to adapt to it and then they enjoyed it ;>)

We have a lot of people like El-Jefe. Some people will get jobs but they cannot defend it with their creativity. It is very sad

It is sad! There are lots of him in my place. Self important little (actually giant) people! :OD

It was a laugh-filled episode again, man haha. You are dancing with your boss and I hope you will be the winner at the end of this dance.

I shall be the one leading the merry dance!! :OD

That's a bold one! Good luck!

It's be bold or get old! lol :OD

I have never really liked these evaluations. Perhaps if they meant something more, I wouldn't mind, but, the fact is, depending on what level of work you do, do you really need one? I actually don't think so. Most people are stressed having to think of amazing things they have done.

Well, that isn't exactly true. I think they have their place, but, not in most places of business. Interpersonal skills is no longer used. Nobody types reports. They text them, using all sorts of ABC, INC TEL initials that may or may not mean squat...

Le sigh.

TLA's!! That is what it place is famous for. We have had loads of people start and ask, but what do all these acronyms mean, is there a glossary or reference guide? The answer is always no. It's like they want to keep the secrets.

I don't mind filling out the nonsense, only because I like writing. I just don't like the idea of someone who is a pie getting to judge based on their own miserable preconceptions:0D

Exactly! I don't mind it per se, but, having someone like him judging me? No thank you.

In the medical world, we will never tell you what those acronyms mean. What else can we use for a cover-up?

I never thought of that in the medical world!! I remember having to Google a shitload if the doctors notes on my brother when he had his stroke. Acronyms can be a very good disguise!

And yeah, having to be appraised by an absolute cockmonkey is shit!!!

There you go. Exactly that. Most people won't go through that much trouble to decipher what it says. Disguises! :) They really are.

Oh, it is almost in the middle of your night, my best time to write. What is it about the middle of the night that spins a story, an idea, something worthy?

I do my best writing in the morning! Although I do get my best ideas at night. Writing is a funny business. I shall go and see your night writing!

Ha! Didn't happen. Best laid plans and all that. I hope you have a splendid weekend.

Wow, I missed your extremely visual and funny metaphors :<)

Did this really happen? Did El Jefe use ChatGPT to save some time?
Whether it happened or not, it's hilarious!

It did indeed! In fact from speaking to others he has been using it on all of the chaps in my team. Cheater that he is! :OD

And you know I love a visual metaphor!

Haha! I get it though, in a way.

I almost feel sorry for The Blob guy.

I am so glad that I'm not working as a teacher in higher education, any longer. It must be hell to work there now, with this whole AI thing taking over.

A teacher would be a thnakless task now as everyone will be trying to use AI to cheat. One of the teachers here said they were already being inundated by it

Well out of it!

It was already a thankless task, I can only imagine how it must be now.

Well out of it, indeed! :<)

Now you are living the life according to your rules!! Nobody puts Vincent in a teaching box!

Haha!

or any kind of box

Unless they want to push me down a fun kind of slide or hill and it's a comfortable box with a pillow in the back that I can peak out of ;<)

I've always detested when my company wanted me to put things about myself and where I wanted to be in 5 years and my goals. Goals? GOALS ?? To get a paycheck and I never think 5 years ahead....LOL.....oh well.... the thought of it makes my nose wrinkle. ha ha

You're such a creative writer, I'm just thinking about what all you might put down and how you would say it.

It seems like HE would know better than to mess with you by now. There is simply no way for him to win.

Oh the goals!! Thats the horrible bit. The Mid and long term goals my place has. I always laugh and think wouldn't my long term goal be to be lying beside a pool being fed Pina Coladas of some hot biking clad chick?

I do like being creative on them. I have had other bosses remark on some of the stuff I write. Sadly with El Jefe he fecking remarks on nothing as if he doesn't understand half of it!

I am determined that he will never win!

small Covid Friendly meeting rooms in which there was barely space for two to sit without knees touching and the moisture from our breathing hung in the air like burning toilet paper.

LOL, I was in one a few days ago.., I don't think they have been reconstructed since the ark! One desk has glass all around it, otherwise its back to the open plan deal of pre-2020.

Yeah, most of the officers I have worked in are straight out of the eighties.

Although we are moving to a newly built one at the end of the year, I am hoping it's funky!

Oh the good ol' annual review....how I hated them lol. Knowing how uncomfortable it is to sit through, I can only imagine how bad it would be to have to give the reviews to countless employees. I am sure some bosses just love review season, being the sadistic bastards most of them are.

There are horrible aren't they!!

I think it is the highlight of El-jefe's year at he gets to lord it over everyone. What a sad life!

Naughty boss 😂😂😂. Crazy how people use AI to write. I can't help but grimace at the thought of having a robot write something for you while you act as you did.

This was a fun read. I have been waiting for you to drop something

Well thank you for waiting. I have been out the loop for a week or so with work stuff but thankfully am back!!

Happy to know you are. I will be waiting for another dish to the oven 🤭🤭

There is a dish coming very soon!!

Hehe... Now, I can't help my tongue getting out to savor more.

Hehe, splendid!!

🤩🤩

Dang, caught out the boss man, lies deceit, he cannot write a page, how the hell did he get the job?

@tipu curate

I have no idea how he got it but ever since he has rode on the coat-tails of others. Noww he is riding on the coat-tails of AI :OD

Small in stature big on attitude, brown nose their way through then kick others down to show he is ring master of this circus....

An accurate sum up! The kind that talk about work as if work is living and always mocks you when you take holidays and the like, ugh!

Chuckle behind their back, companies go under, times change, highest on the ladder hit the floor hardest 🙃

That is one of the main reasons I have never tried to climb very high on the ladder. YUou are safer on the lower middle rungs!

Oh yes, middle to lower much safer, pussypreneurs steem'in up to the top, plummeting hot trail, sizzling gravitational pull, drat splat gone!

El-Jefe is also doing plagiarism, poor him 😁

It does make his stuff far easier to read though. Always a silver lining! :O)

And this is the slippery slope to most people choosing a life of unemployment!

Hopefully him, I appear to be doing three jobs now, I am sure at least one is safe :OD

Do all the jobs!!

I am downing tools, none of the jobs! That will learn somebody!

Hahaha classic.

I think after embarrassing him twice in two weeks, it looks as if he is waging your war of attrition on himself!
In conclusion, green elephants flew across the Champs d'Elysee in a mesmerising display of retalliation.

Bollocks

I think there is an occasion at least once a day where he makes a blooper that everyone winces from. He is literally the definition of stramash, lol.

In conclusion, green elephants flew across the Champs d'Elysee in a mesmerising display of retalliation

Lol!

Thanks for reminding me that annual reviews are due in a month or two at the library.

Given that our company values were the most abstract bag of horse penises ever made the exercise a frustrating one at best.

I'm about ready to say, "fuck it," and plagiarize this line as part of my self-report.

Suggest your company use GhatGPT to write its mission statements and such instead of wasting months with committee meetings and consultants. It'll probably be more coherent.

They would be more coherent! And legible and generally understandable. I might actually sneak that in our Anonymous Suggestion Box which we have recently gotten back in the office.

Another great read man, your sayings and phrases are always a laugh. I didn't know a Yorkshireman's nipples turn bright red in the sun, but here we are !LOLZ

My dog chewed a hole in my shirt
We have the same taste in clothes.

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Haha, cheers man!! I hope those nipples don't really do that or people might wonder how the feck I know!!! :0F

I would have put it down to walking on the beaches, looking at the... well.. nipples apparently hahahah

That will be my cover story. A harmless witnessing whilst walking on the beaches! !LOL

I stayed up all night trying to find where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me.

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I bet El Jefe's palms instantly sweat when he walks into meetings with you. Lol. Oh, I remember those days, the good old performance appraisal. Hated it. The manager I worked under the longest when I was in corporate hell would have us write our own appraisals and then would (mostly) just retype them word-for-word and send them up to the HR overlords for their official sign off. I guess we were her ChatGPT. Lol. The raises/bonuses were then doled out arbitrarily by the manager based on who she deemed worthy in the given the moment. The longer you worked there the smaller the raises you got generally. I hope it works out in your favor this year!

He does seem to get quite nervy when we chat. I think it is mostly because when I am going on holiday I have to do a big elaborate handover to him and when he goes on holiday he pretty much says.... So I will see you in two weeks, you have my number.

And then obviously he is never needed to be called because I and other people do his job for hima ll the time anyway!

It is funny that, the long er you are somewhere the smaller the raises and bonuses you can get. It is kinda the same in my place. You have to stamp your feet a lot to get anything out of the ordinary chicken feed they give to everyone. Corporate life!

I used to work at a company that had about 6000 employees at the one facility. (7 days a week, 3 shifts, 1,000,000 sqft.

The one thing I thought was interesting was that 20% of you evaluation was peer feedback. You were allowed to pick any 10 colleagues (out of the 6000) who you thought would give you a good rating. ANY 10. If you had 10 chums who you went out to lunch with every day - you could pick them. But ... their appraisals would be kept 100% confidential - and you'd never be able to trace it back to them.

You'd think it'd be easy - a free 20%. You'd be wrong. With the freedom of anonymity, your chums would always write what they "really" thought.

For 2-3 years, I was in the seat of El-Jefe. It shocked me to read some of these feedbacks. I wish AI had written some of them. The pent up aggression was crazy. - Much of the feedback wasn't professional at all.

Arguably, if you picked the 10 folks that you worked with daily who you disliked the most, they'd give you a better review than the 10 who you thought you were chums with. They'd have nothing to say about your personality - they'd only describe your work.


Back then... the reviews were pretty important as one year (before the dot-com bubble burst). A glowing review was worth a bonus greater than 50% of your annual salary!!!.

Currently, the delta on our bonus between stellar and dismal is roughly 3 days pay. So ... not really something worth fighting over.

50%! Hot dang that would be worth fighting to get a good one over.

Out bonus used to be ok, it was between 15 and 20% but over the last ten years it has dribbled down and down and is between 1 and 2% with the 1% guaranteed if you are rubbis which is kak which is probably why I dotn really care too much about getting it or not.

I have seen friend colleagues in work do things like that. Anonymity is a powerful thing. I was a team leaeder in my last job of a small team and I was astonished at the bitter rivalry I got to witness via anonymous (but not to me) comments and skullduggery that went on. Work relationships can be kak!

Many people have lost their jobs due to chat GDP and many people's jobs are also at risk. I also have to say here that this kind of software should not have come because many people are getting confused and people who have used it once or twice it gives right answer then give wrong answer. starts, so if an employee uses it and forwards it, it's a problem for him too.

It has been known on many occasions to give the wrong answer if it can't find one. That's a worrying thing indeed!

If there's an award for tangible typer of the day, you stroked it with the armadillos. I think I heard'em.

I can practically feel em!!! My own, that is ;O)

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post "Flat Rocks". Your writing style is witty, humorous, and engaging. You have a great way with words and your descriptions are vivid and imaginative.

I can sense your frustration with the annual appraisal process, but I admire your ability to find humor in the situation and make light of it. Your playful banter with El-Jefe is entertaining, and your use of metaphors and similes is impressive.

Keep up the great work, and don't let the frustrations of work get you down. Your talent for writing is something to be proud of, and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Best of luck to you!
!ALIVE

Thank you very much.

I try to find humour in every situation. It makes life that little easier :0)

humor in every situation is what I do too. Because old man chu knows what to do. I make videos and try to make them fun in every situation when I fix stuff. Thanks for sharing.
Here is an !ALIVE token of appreciation

I noticed actually in your karaoke video!! :0)

@meesterboom! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @old-man-chu58. (6/10)

The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.

@meesterboom! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @old-man-chu58. (3/10)

The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.

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who is the el jefe character ?

Lol. Fuck off Ackza

I imagine the face of your boss when he felt discovered hahaha, did you know that the famous ChatGPT intimidated a user, he says he wants to be human, the matter is quite chilling, if people leave everything to these artificial intelligences, our intelligence tends to disappear , we will be complete idiots walking the world , it is the most absurd in my opinion .
I wish you a happy weekend

PIZZA!

$PIZZA slices delivered:
@lolzbot(3/5) tipped @mimismartypants (x1)

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Thank you!