Iron Horses

in #life6 months ago


I closed my eyes and I was back there. The rock, Timanfaya. The volcano that the locals had spoken of in hushed tones.

The volcano that Big John, he of the face like a beef Tiger had told me I must visit.

The shrieking fury of the winds had been deafening that day at the peak of that fiery eyehole into hell but deafening as they were, they were no match for the screams.

The screams that haunt me still.

I clutched at my jug of beer. It might be piss but it was just the port in a storm that I needed at that moment.

Big John looked over at me sympathetically. He still stank of last night's vagina and his red face was redder than usual as if he had been inflating a penis-shaped rubber horse to ride around town that night.

Briefly, I wished for such a horse myself. Perhaps I could use it to float off this blasted rock to freedom.

No. I wasn't floating off here. If that I was certain.

Ya enjoy it then! Soomat else ain't it?

Big John gabbled at me.

I lowered my head briefly before raising it and grimacing in return.

Still can't understand a fucking word you say. But... aye, it was impressive.

Despite the words, inside I quailed once more thinking of that awful, broken mountain and the screaming that echoed at every turn.

I motioned one of the locals to serve me more camel piss. He smiled and uttered something in the local dialect.

Grande, Poco?

He looked expectantly at me, waggling a small glass and a big glass.

I was not the clueless novice I had been when I had washed up on these broken shores and growled my choice in his own tongue back at him.

Mi sabor es de la noche.

I clicked a finger threateningly at the big glass.

Soon enough it was plonked in front of me, frothily overflowing with the local mad-water.

I thought back to the volcano.

I had not been the only pilgrim to its peak in the search of answers. There had been a party of us. We had travelled on a large wagon passing many others on smaller carts on the way.

All was well and my heart felt light at finally finding a way off this shit-heap in the Atlantic Ocean.

We passed through a shattered landscape of broken rock as far as the eye could see. The guide advised that these were the now frozen lava plains.

It was then that the screaming started.

One of our party of pilgrims, a small redheaded boy about two was thrashing in his seat, shrieking as if possessed by the furies.

A bounteous boobed maid tried to placate him but to no avail. I turned my head and tried to ignore it, it wasn't as if the boy could scream forever, was it?

But the screams never stopped, even after we reached the summit.

What the hell is wrong with him?

I demanded of the maid.

I think the Little Boom is teething.

She replied casually as if his screams were not a cheese grater on the soul.

Amidst the screams, I searched the summit for answers, for a clue of how I could escape this barren bastard of a hole.

There was nothing.


And then... there was something.

Far off in the distance I saw iron horses claw their way up into the sky. On silvery wings they flew until they were gone from the eye.

I knew then I had my answer. I would find this place of the flying horses and ride one.

Ride it to glory out of this place. My mind was set, I would aim for Friday.

Finally, escape.

I clashed my jug of piss against Big John's and cried...



Another classic... I admire your prose!

You'll be riding a flying horse soon...And looks like you have the right footwear for it too!


Heh heh, I have been wearing both sandals and flip flops. I will miss them when it comes back to wearing the storm wear!

That's when you know you're back home and in the grind...Work shoes. Sucks.

Still, you have a couple more days...So plenty of time for that baking sun and the alcoholic swill they serve you.

Hope you're having a good time.

It is good mate, stressful with two kids but still good. I am looking forward to coming back but I know that when I'm back I will be like meh!

Well, enjoy it while you can...Maybe next time come to Aus for your vacation...It's all burned to shit, but come down, you'll have a blast...Lol. The Sterling goes a long way down here too.

If I could afford it I would, burned to shit or not!!

The problem is everything is so damned far apart here...Tourists need extended stays to make it worth while. Maybe one day huh? Steemfest Gold Coast 2021.

That's right and we complain in Scotland when we have to drive from one end to the other which is only a couple of hundred odd miles!

Oh, just wait til you are on the other side if sunshine.

You'll be begging for their refreshments!

Come home soon!


I think I will miss it when I'm back to the cold and windy rain!

Did you eat the volcano-burnt chicken on offer for arriving pilgrims? If no.. you chose wisely!

Lol. In that case, I'm kinda glad the little guy just screamed forever as that made me skip it!!

I need to write this one up, it's next.

I look forward to reading!

Oh I will be longing for those iron horses to whisk me away next weekend at the big ice festival. Not my idea of fun. First the 3 hour drive, walking endlessly in the frigid cold, then shelling out too much cash for a bloody room...oh I can see the iron horses now!

Haha, that sounds a bit grim! I travel back today, let those iron horses pull me high into the sky!!

as if he had been inflating a penis-shaped rubber horse to ride around town that night.

hehehehe "as you do". lol

What an awesome story! Very "Braveheartish" haha :) Been too long since I have read one of your tales Sir. :) But, alas... I needed a digital detox, plus my family eats way too much food so I spent 99% of my December in a kitchen cooking lol! Good to be back though.

Hope you and yours had a great holiday season too!

I understand, I have been having an almost complete digital detox whilst holidaying in the sun. It's been magic. I am however looking forward to getting back in the saddle!

I hope you make it back in time to visit the Bear-Man's den.

Looking forward for Saturday's tale of beer.

I will miss the bar mans den but perhaps I was clever enough to have ranked something up in advance!!

Will, I think I did but for the life of me I can't remember. Will have to see what surpasses me in the fridge!

Then Friday, you shall fly! Before then though, time to consume plenty more local piss-water.

Make the most of it Boomy, it'll be months before you see that yellow thing in the sky again :O

My brother was telling me it was 2 degrees and stormy. I felt a tad afraid!!

Friday back and drinking lots to them before some glorious real beer!! I feel a Saturday beer post coming!

A proper ale is certainly one thing to look forward to - I can see some high scores coming in on Saturday as even a weak-ass pale will tower over the shambles available on the rock!

I never thought of that, I bet you are right, they will taste like gold!!!

for you

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Ugh teething - that is enough reason to drink - took a tour with you on google - what a stunning place

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loll..hope at last. That artwork is very disturbing sir meesterboom!