Beers are back baby!!!

What? They never went away you say? Well, excuse me for serving fart-nuggets as caramel amuse-bouche at the last Ambassadors party!

This week I have been laid up with a catastrophic knee injury and although I have been lying about on various chairs mewling piteously and gobbling painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs as if they were real drugs, it is time to man up and get on to the real medicine...

The real medicine, you cry?

Yes, of course... Beer!!!

What else has the simultaneous power to make both Kings and beggars of mortal men?

So tonight I have an odd combination, simply because I am rather odd and don't really give a flying fuck for convention.

You know the ones, eeewww, it has to be white wine with fish or, eeewwww, you shouldn't take photos of your wife when she is sleeping and submit them to the gallery on sleepingwives.com

So, where was I? Oh yes, the beer!

Two this week and they are separated by a gulf of colour. Namely pale versus dark!

It's like I am doing my own retelling of the Star Wars saga!

So first up, we have the silky but sour, wheaty but bitter, memories of the summer that is...

Hmm, I do like a bitter fruity IPA and a New England IPA usually promises to be a big hoppy belt in the mouth. Add some tango bitterness to that and we should be in for a fine and zesty treat.

Doesn't look hugely orange'y which is a good sign. Sometimes a man wants his beer to look like a beer and not a fruit. Even if it tastes of fruit and wears a ladies fruits on its fruity front bits.

Let's get it necked!

Ooo! This hits the spot alright, perfect sit in the sun beer. Big bitter bastard like my brother but with a lovely tart orange zest zinging it up at the back. The right amount of hops to combat the orange and it sits together perfectly.

It's like someone blended up the best bits from Rita Ora and poured them into a glass for some sassy mouth action!

Mmmm mmm, that's an 8/10 booms!

So, we danced into the light but what is this? Oh goodness me, it's the dark side pulling us back. Back into the eternal night of the damned.

I do like a pastry stout. As long as they don't stint on the flavours! They can sometimes be overpowering though.

But, I once went out with a goth who stank so badly of patchouli oil that all the dogs in her street committed suicide so it takes a lot to overpower this man.

9% ABV though, that's one strong potato!

Here goes.

Blimey, it's black as fuck and nary a bit of blue to be seen. I mean, look at it. It is blacker than my arse mud after eating too much squid ink pasta.

But in an appetising way.

So let me put on my friend's wet suit and dive in!

Boof. That is champion. Drinking it is literally like smearing a horse in blueberry jam then setting it on fire before trying to ride its blackened, charred remains.

It's that good! Layers of dark chocolate with a good strong blueberry sweetness behind it. The alcohol is potent too, almost enough to rouse the axeman that dwells in all men's souls.

10/10 booms!!!

What a feast of a night.

Saturday, I salute you!!

Cheers!