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I actually tried to convince the missus

That was your first mistake. I thought you would have known better by now.

I slipped from the path! I should have known!!

Let the beatings commence!

It's funny from that, makes Will Smith look like a giant!

Maybe you could plant him next to the back fence in place of the cane? Lol.

Hahaha!! I can imagine him now, slappy halls flapping in the wind shouting about how he was gonna fucking get me for feeding him chicken shit all the time 🤣🤣

Haha! He could slap your neighbour from time to time also.