BoomDawg, is that you?
El Jefe stared out peevishly from my phone screen.
I frowned deeply at El Jefe as if he were complaining that my jobbies were too smooshy to make candles with.
Of course it's fucking me, who else would it be?
I decided on the polite approach as it was very early in the morning and I couldn't be doing with a big boss fight first thing.
In fact it wasn't just very early, it was ridiculously early. Half-past six to be precise, I had literally just rolled out of bed when the Teams video call popped up on my phone.
I had been tempted to ignore it but whilst El Jefe was a braying donkey of a man he was still technically my boss and it might be urgent.
Maybe he was calling to announce that I was getting a big rise?
El Jefe leaned in close to his screen, he must have been using his phone because I got a rather unsavoury close up view of his nostrils.
My penis, ever the traitor, twitched inquisitively at the hairy vagina'ness of them.
BoomDawg, there is shit going down in Poland.
El Jefe squawked urgently.
Boss man, its half fucking six. What fucking shit could possibly be going down at half six?
I shook my head wearily as if once again having to throw lamb's testicles into my neighbours garden to attract foxes.
It might be half fucking six here but have you any idea the time over there?! It's.. It's... Well, it must be the middle of the day or something?!
El Jefe made an odd panicky gargling noise as if the Spartans had just breached the gates and were coarsely waving their weapons at him.
Boss-Man. They are only an hour ahead. That mean's it's half seven. So, I don't think there can possibly be 'shit going down in Poland.'
El Jefe grunted as he raised himself to his feet and started pacing about.
Disapprovingly, I noted that his phone hand flapped about weakly as if it were held in the hand he didn't masturbate with. Didn't he know it was good practice to swap hands when feeding the birds?
They are stating they can't access the test tool. They are going to bill us for this. If they can't access the tools required for the job then it's our neck that's on the line?!
A strange noise came over the phone as if El Jefe had started sobbing.
Relax, mate. There is a downtime slot today, remember? Some upgrade nonsense. The system will be available from eight. There was an email.
El Jefe gasped and looked at me beseechingly.
There was an email?
He sputtered hopefully like a Greek man in a golden sea.
Yup.
I said making a strained face.
Oh well, that's fine. I will throw that back to them. Hey, BoomDawg, are you ok?
El Jefe peered forward at his screen.
I grimaced slightly then relaxed. There was a large plopping sound as if an otter had just dived into a river.
Yeah, I'm fine now, ta.
I grunted,
Incidentally, why is the wall behind you so shiny?
El Jefe looked puzzled as if he was only just noticing my surroundings.
The walls? Oh, that's the tiles. I'm in the toilet. On the pan to be precise. You caught me at my morning shit.
I made an apologetic face followed by one of surprise as another otter leapt gleefully into the deep.
El Jefe closed his eyes and took a deep breath then hung up.
I smiled. This was a good start to the day.
And he should expect nothing less for calling at an insane hour!
It was absolutely ridiculous. I thought it was Armageddon!!
Why did you have your phone in the toilet with you never mind answering it 🤣
I that a real question!! Goodness, doesn't everyone take their phone to the toilet? That's where I do most of my Hive'ing! Heheh :OD
I don't XD
Unless I'm using a public toilet but even then it stays in my bag or pocket XP
But how do you pass the time? This is astonishing!!
By doing the nonsense that I write about in the progblogs and trying to make recalcitrant children do educational stuff I can record XD
And occasionally housework and stuff >_>
On the toilet!! Wow, your are amaze-balls!!! ;0)
BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA XD
That's what you get for interrupting the morning shit!
There should be laws against it. That moment is sacrosanct!!!!
It is a sacred moment of zen-like contemplation that occasionally results in an inspired post for me.
Or sometimes digital shit comes out of my fingertips whilst literal shit is evacuated in the standard fashion simultaneously.
Yeah, that is pretty much how it works for me. Some of my best shit has come out in there, LOLZ!
That video call was made from the most intimate part of your house jaaaaaaaa, only you can think of doing something like that, your boss will think well before communicating with you again, I think he will look at the time first jaaaaa, sorry for laughing so much, but no I can help it, thank goodness that in the video call there is no smell jaaaaa
Haha, you think he would learn from this but he bloody well won't!!
I keep seeing things like this to about him but he never learns. The smell would have been the icing on the cake, lol!
Half six is far to early for anyone to open the eyes, how dare he phone and disturb your man time..LOL
I know, I need all the time I can get in the morning to look all handsome manimal!
I don't think you need that long, a man as handsome as you Haha
Why thank you ma'am, I agree, 1 MILLION PERCENT! :OD
And so very modest :)
Hello dear friend @meesterboom Good evening
Because bosses never read communications, they are always disconnected from the information.
The good thing is that at these hours it will not bother you again, you already know that it is time for your visit to release the otters to the river.
Have a wonderful night
Hola jlufer!
I can only hope that the lesson learnt is a strong one that sticks this time!!!
All hail the river otters!!
I'd say that would teach him a lesson but I know better with bosses. It'd be like them reading an urgent email, you know?
I solved that difficulty. When I am performing my morning ablations the phone is at least 50 feet away. I shit in the serenity and solace that it demands!
Ah, that's a good idea but I find myself at a loose end and am in between books at the moment so my phone has been my trusty stool companion in the mornings! That will change now though!!
No man that is not early - unless it is a Saturday. That time I am working already. Well I guess El Jeffe will not call you early again.
You are working at half six!! That's insanity, no one can live at that speed!!
Hahaha us South Africans are apparently hard workers and teachers are even bigger suckers
It seems so, ion the hard working part at least!!
What time do you work?
I start at about half seven/eight. That's early enough i think!
O yes that is still early -
The shitter is a great place to make calls, it's all about duel processing you know!
The duel processing and of course, the excellent acoustics!!! ;0)
Oh yes...!
Do you make these terms up and then add them to urbandictionary? :D
Lol. Urban dictionary is my first language! :0D
In Scotland there was shit going down too. 🤣
Posted using Dapplr
I was thinking exactly the same thing!!! :0D
Posted using Dapplr
:0D