The Deployed

in #life3 years ago

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So Boom-Dawg. It looks like we are pushing the Go-Live time out to Friday evening. That ok with you?

El-Jefe the Boss Man glistened at me from my screen as if he had just been freshly pulled out from an orifice.

Friday? I think that is a magnificent day. Fabulous idea. Absolutely great time for a deployment.

I grinned back fiercely at him, a cheery glint in my eye.

El-Jefe made a dissatisfied rumbling noise as if he were Nicki Minaj and someone had hidden his doughnut.

You seem strangely happy about it. Don't you normally kick off about Friday deployments? You always say that Fridays are sacred or some such rubbish?

He scowled deeply, his pile of chins wobbling as if in danger of toppling over.

Ach no. Let's not be precious. Friday is fine. It's just another day isn't it?

I hummed a little jaunty tune like I were pied piping some rats.

Hmm. The last time there was a Friday deployment you said something about someone 'getting killed' if they arranged such a thing again?

El-Jefe narrowed his eyes and scooched closer to his camera which made his face look gigantic on my screen.

Which makes me wonder why you are so happy for a Friday deployment this time. Surely...

He stopped, his eyes bugged out and his mouth gaped wide in horror.

No?! No, wait?? Are you on leave on Friday?! Are you OFF?

He rocked back in his chair, a look of severe derangement washing over his features as if he had gone full on Wasp-Nest-Eating-Crazy


Note: never go that crazy. Never

Yeah!! I'm off! You remember? I am taking annual leave for a long weekend. It's gonna be magic. Lost in the hills up North with not even the slightest hint of a phone signal.

I mimed putting a phone to my ear and shaking it as if broken.

El Jefe rubbed his eyes.

Have we... have we got cover? Who is covering? Someone must be covering, right?

He looked deeply pained like he had found a briefcase full of Indonesian dollars.

Cover? Oh, the only cover for me is... Well, its you!

I sat back smugly and stroked my chin contemplatively.

Are you free on Friday night? It won't be too late I presume?

Now it was my turn to lean in close to my laptop camera, as if trying to see what colour carpet lay on the other side of the lens.

ME?! ME?? Me, free on Friday night? But it's Friday? Fridays are ...

El Jefe bit his tongue and winced.

Yes yes, I know. Sacred.

I stifled a giggle of the purest glee.

El-Jefe shook his head despondently like a man who sold their Hive stack at 15 cents whilst shouting that the platform was doomed.

Yeah, I will do it. Enjoy your holiday.

Grumpily, he closed the call and I leaned back and stretched happily. Time to get the kumquats out.

Cheers boss!

Sort:  

Sounds like a go screw it up yourself kind of moment 😎

It was pretty much that!! Lol

!PIZZA

Haha. Thanks.

Brutal. I applaud your manipulative passing of the buck.

If there is a buck to be passed then by golly I will pass it with aplomb!

Enjoy your vacation, hope you didn't sell all at 0.15

Nah, in fact I think I didn't sell any back then. It didn't seem worth it!!

Who wants to work Fridays? Obviously, not El Jeffe! You dodged a bullet there, Boomie! Now, you can get that beer that you needed. Who knew you had a secret life!

That hornet's nest was terribly gross, and that guy is a little crazy!

I was fairly surprised when I thought, like a guy eating a wasps nest and typed it in youtube and boom! There he was, the fucking nutter!!!

I love my secret Friday life, hehe! Escaped!!! :OD

!PIZZA

They are sacred, I tell you! Every Friday should be! So, can we please make Saturday special and do #BeerSaturday? You know you are the best!!

You are such a great Escape Artist! And your pizza is awesome! Thank you~!!

My !PIZZA brings all the girls to the yard... Apparently, lol!!

There should be a Friday tag!! I do love a Saturday but it is with some regret that is realise I love a Saturday of chill!! Video editing l, even at its barest is too time consuming!!!

Beer Monday! Make all the bosses happy!

Time to get the kumquats out.

It's always time to get the kumquats out.

I agree entirely. In fact I cant think of a time that it is a bad time but it is a good time to celebrate that time indeed!

!KUMQUATS

!PIZZA

Yes. Most people think that smiling is the universal language, but really the universal language is whipping out your kumquats.

!KUMQUATPIZZA

Why didnt I put !PIZZA on my kumquats. Or was it the other way around. Goddamit, One day I will get used to its internet malarkey!

I heard that El Jefe was teaching a class about internet malarkey, you should sign up. It's scheduled for this Friday evening. Won't be too late.

Why that's a great tip off, thank you! I shall endeavour to make sure I am NO WAY FUCKING NEAR THE JOINT!!

apologies for the capitals. it's a condition I have

it's a condition I have

Overexposure to kumquats can cause that.

Friday is not just another day, it is the starting of the freedom :D

My thoughts exactly! How dare anyone interfere with FREEDOM! :OD

😳 I'm kinda confused and frightened now… I will never owe money to the dude in the video. Never!

Lol. I know!! Isn't he the craziest dude? I didn't think I would get any hours for searching for man eating a wasps nest 🤣🤣

Yes, absolutely! Just imagine cracking a "yo mama" joke with him and he takes it the wrong way …
My second question is: what did you have to type in the search field to end up with hornet eating dudes?!? Just so I know how to spend the rest of the evening :)
I want to disturb a few friends 😈

Lol. I literally typed in 'man eating a wasps nest' - I didn't expect expect any hits. I mean who on earth could be crazy enough?? Obviously that man!

Hm, now I will contemplate on the scariest things imaginable and type that in the search. A whole new playground!
Something with ants perhaps …

Hahaha!

El-Jefe shook his head despondently like a man who sold their Hive stack at 15 cents whilst shouting that the platform was doomed.

This was one of my favorite parts. Easy to relate to ;<)

Hehe, there were many of us who lost a bit of heart around then. It was a grim time!! !PIZZA

his pile of chins wobbling as if in danger of toppling over.

Are you calling Boss Man a fatty? I can't believe you have kept these away from the work dudes for so long.., does nobody know.. not even that wobbler dude.. who drinks Huel?

He is indeed. He didnt used to be but he has suffered dreadfully from the lockdown blues. More so than the rest of us I think!

Well, you would never think that the shift from Steem to Hive could have had such advantages. I used to shill the place something rotten back at the start and loads of people in my place knew about it. When we switched to Hive I was already antsy that I was in danger of getting sussed so I deliberately never really let on. Only one guy has an idea but he doesn't realise I am still going!! Secrets, the best thing about life! :OD

!PIZZA

Hahaha what a catch. So why then is Friday sacred to you Boomy?

I will be straight up honest. Its the start of the weekend and I like to relax with a beer! Its the only reason. I hate hate hate working Fridays!!

!PIZZA

Straight up and honest is good enough for me thanks.
I also used to look forward to Fridays when I was employed, but that stopped about 20+ years ago.
Now if I want to take a Friday off, I don't have to ask anyone, but it rarely happens.

I cant wait till I dont have to ask anyone. I think if I wasn't working all week then it wouldn't be such a thing but at the moment it is the thing that I look forward to the most so they can beat it when they want me to work on it!

How long still to go before you don't have to ask anyone?

I will see your answer tomorrow as now bed time here.
Good Night Chief.

Night mate!!

Still many years, at least 11 if I somehow pull off an early shot at retirement. Unless the crypto goods smile upon us all!!

Greetings Boomy, So strange as I have a good friend here on Hive that still have 5 years to go and he also hopes that Hive will moon.
11 years is a loooong stretch and I hope that hive will also cut your time short.

I presume your official retirement is at 65 years old?

Unfortunately, I am currently on the wrong side of this equation for Saturday evening.

The email thread goes like this ...

VP of IT to VP or ERP : "Just a friendly reminder, as per the emails that have been sent out weekly for the last 3 months, we are changing hardware at our data warehouse this Saturday. You will need to power off the ERP so that it's not forcefully shut down."

VP or ERP to VP of IT : "This is news to me (AKA I never read those emails and never passed them on) ... Let me finally pass it down to my staff to action"

<Internally>

  • Schmuck A : I'm on vacation
  • Schmuck B : I'm on vacation
  • Schmuck C : I'm on vacation
  • Schmuck D : I'm on vacation
  • Schmuck E : I'm on vacation
  • GikiTiki : I'll start the espresso maker. 😣

Oh no, man, so often I have been in the same place!!

I think you might have to employ a schmuck F!!

Hi @meesterboom ,Fridays are sacred but for the boss, ha ha ha, you will work, look at it on the positive side, he chooses you, so you are earning points.
Happy Friday and work hard on your Friday night :) well I work every day, so I better not bother you much, a hug

I worry that I am beyond the earning points with the boss stage and that I have become his monkey!!

Better a monkey with a banana than an ape with a grape or something like that, not a clue what I'm getting at, but banana here means 'dosh' :)

I think I get you, like a man with a hat. Or something 😃

Now and again it is good to make them understand and appreciate what they have in a superb employee as yourself. Well played indeed lol.

Haha, I think they are it now when I am not there. I get the nicest appreciation on my return!

Have a great time up North with the family!

Sure will dudeski!!!

LoL the slowly dawning realisation, poor El Jefe XD

He is the one that approves my holidays, you think he would have got it sooner. Lolz!!

Obviously not cross-referencing his calendars or something x_x lol

I think if he actually looked at them at all it might help!!

PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!
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There is no better satisfaction than sticking it to the Man, especially when it's the boss Man! The only Man you shouldn't stick it to is the bear Man :)

Yeah, I don't think I could bear sticking it to that man!!!! :0D

!PIZZA

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