The Riddle Of Man

in #life3 years ago

meesterboom_riddle_of_man.jpg

A Father and a Son are in a car crash. The Father dies. The son survives but the surgeon refuses to treat him saying 'I can't perform surgery on my own child.' - Who was the surgeon?

The Good Lady looked at me smugly.

Go on then. Mr Oh-I-am-so-good-at-riddles. What's the answer?

She was almost purring with satisfaction

I looked up with some relief from Hive where I had been skimming random badly written articles about Hive/Crypto/Splinterlands changing lives.

I beg your pardon? A man does what with a what? Is this a sex game?

I chortled at my incredible wit and gave myself a high five.

You heard me quite well, I am sure. So, what is the answer, Daddy-Bear? I am sure it will be no problem for someone of your vast intellect to crack this simple little riddle. Can I add though, there is an element of a test to this...

She smirked and then tittered.

My brow furrowed ferociously Blob Fish style. Tittering?? Smirking?? This was quite unbecoming of a lady. Perhaps she should tread more carefully? She wouldn't be the first human I had thrown in a bin.

I thought about her shitty riddle for a moment.

The answer my darling, is quite simple.

I sniffed triumphantly and continued.

The father dies but these things are all about wordplay. The father is not explicitly stated to be the Son's father. Therefore a Father and a Son are in a car crash, that doesn't mean that they are necessarily related. After all, I am a father and yet I could get in a car with another geezer who was a son. It would not mean I was his Father.

I made a wrapping up motion with my hands.

And so, the Surgeon is indeed his Father and the Father that died in the car was just A Father and not his Father. Tada!!!

I made a gangsta sign which involved random fingers sticking out here and there and a pout that would make a trout blush.

The Good Lady looked long and hard at me, then nodded.

See!!! BOOM!! In your face woman!!!! I am the man that all riddles fear to face!

I leapt up and victoriously started doing my best impression of a chicken thrown in a fire.

Then I noticed the Good Lady was shaking her head.

I am afraid you were quite incorrect, Daddy-Bear. The correct answer is of course, that the surgeon was the Son's Mother.

Her words crashed down on me like fat wet boobs.

Oh. Urrmm. Actually, yeah. That makes sense, kind of.

I sat back down and stroked my chin thoughtfully.

It was kind of a test, you see because men typically struggle with the answer because they assume the surgeon to always be male.

The Good Lady looked smug, like a Hive 'author' coining in the rewards for their sneakily ghost-written articles.

No, that's not the case, it was not that it was... Oh hang on. Here is the Little Lady, ask her. Bet she can't get it!

The Little Lady had trooped into the room.

What is it?

She asked suspiciously.

The Good Lady repeated her shitty riddle designed to punish men back at our beautiful innocent daughter.

I sat back and awaited her answer, in truth feeling a little smug myself now.

Eh... If the Father died and the surgeon can't operate cos its their son. The surgeon must be his Mummy then?

The Little Lady hooted jubilantly.

See.

The Good Lady put an arm round the Little Lady and shot me a glance.

Daddy doesn't get it because he assumes the surgeon has to be a man. Silly men, eh.

She laughed and the Little Lady joined in.

Hahahahha, yes Mummy. Silly men!

They flounced off leaving me to ponder at my new found promotion to the Patriarchy.

Fucking riddles, I've never liked them.

Sort:  

Incredible but true, I am on the hunt for more subjects to test this on.

Find them, test it and see if it is really true!!

Amazing how you can turn a normal itty bitty riddle on it's head in a story like this.
We both giggled at this and I tested myself on it. Then I read your masterful solution and it made perfect sense to me.
Then I tested the missus and guess what?
Her answer in a minute was exactly the same as your Little Lady ie the mother!

I think that since they removed one of our ribs to make a woman, that rib was conditioned to think the exact opposite to man's thoughts.

They all think alike and they all know that men are dominated by only three thoughts.
Sex, food and beer.

Sex, food and beer.

And not always in that order!

I was quite astonished by the answer and they were right it is totally the way that guys think. At least that's what I thought! :OD

!PIZZA !

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Hahaha, you have it all correct here.

Sadly it seems so!!!

Haha! :)

❤️❤️❤️

Lol that old nut, I thought anyone not guessing 'mother' would have gone out with landlines and computers as big as houses haha, tho I'm not much to talk, I've barely gotten out of corsets.

Corsets! Magic. Now I cant even remember what I was going to type in reply :OD

So heteronormative. This is a modern society, dontchaknow, so not only are stereotypical gender roles gauche at best, you're rejecting the entire LGBTQ spectrum. How dare she assume anyone's gender?

How dare she indeed!!!

I think it's LGBTQA+ now. Frankly I have not
idea what the A is, the good lady sniffed disapprovingly when I asked if it meant Anal :0D

a pout that would make a trout blush.

But at least you’ve got a super smashing, hopefully conciliatory trout pout!

Hope you’re not still pondering your new patriarchal position….😆

No longer an I pondering. I have embraced it! I have been in the garden this morning selecting a good switch to came the good lady's bottom with if she steps out of line!! :0D

Reading this now :)

like a Hive 'author' coining in the rewards for their sneakily ghost-written articles.

slipped it in nicely, eh?

Hahaha!!! It was a nice sneaky one :0D

I guessed correctly in a few seconds 😁 and I have a penis!

You what!?! FFS, right you, out!! And hands your penis in at the door!!! :0D

!PIZZA

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Can you pass me my man card on the way out please?

!PIZZA

I forget about this command!

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Your man card is revoked!!!!

I have been using it so much I half fear they will bar me! :0)

Doh!

I think there is a limit depending on the number of !PIZZA you have vested, so dish out those slices!

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Cool, then I'm dishing!! 😃😃

!PIZZA

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Well first of all your child is really clever and secondly.... does this mean I am actually a man then because I had the same answer as you

image.png
Only 6,5% of surgeons are women in the UK - quite shocking since women tend to be waaaaaaaaay more clever than men hahaha

They do tend to be cleverer in my experience! Quite shockingly low, that figure eh?

She is a clever one, I hope it stays with her!!

!PIZZA

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It will - she has bright parents

Hehe, cheers! At least one of them is!

Three or four years ago, I posed that riddle to my wife.

I usually consider her a card-carrying feminist.

She pondered it for a good 10 minutes. Then she said those magic words.

"That riddle doesn't make sense ... there is no right answer."

It was a glorious day. The sun was shining - this was long before the pandemic. But I had to tread carefully.

I calmly asked her if she would hand me her hypothetical feminist card. She looked at me - a little stunned.

I waited a little longer . Even with that clue, the synapses were not firing.

That's when I explained that there are many medical professionals who just happen to be female.

It was a lovely day indeed.

Lol, splendid!!

I must admit when she said the answer My jaw dropped a little bit as I totally missed that one.

You my friend have earned that hypothetical card in spades!!

!PIZZA

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I am the man that all riddles fear to face!

Hahaha funny story man. :)

But alright, given that you are a man that all riddles fear to face. Let me throw an easy one at you so that you can vindicate yourself before your audience and you can triumphantly exercise that auto high-five with unequivocal proud.

¿How and when can a man infallibly know when a woman is wearing panty hoses?

There you have it witty Mr. boom. You have 7 days to give the correct answer. And this time you actually will have a real chance to make a trout blush with all sorts of gangsta signs if you guess it. };)

Haha, I would love to say that that is an easy one. Oh yes, I would love to say that.

It's it something to do with straining jam. Yes, that must be it. Phew, high five me!!!

:0D

Haha! Both of my girls guessed morher, independent of each other and my son did too. It helps his wife is in med school. Otherwise she would hand him his man parts.

I use the brain teasers once a week in my market post. Check the site: brainteasers.com

I cannot believe the little lady got it!!

I can't believe I didn't get it!!!

I need to work on my inclusivity skills. Full marks all round for your family, it must have assumed sure easy for your son although you are right. It would have been bad off he didn't!

I shall check out these teasers because my brain is obviously turning to mush 😜

Don't worry, every week that I use one I have to study it like I'm being quizzed on it, just in case. Some of them I have no idea how they got those answers and rather than admit that publicly I just excluded from my list. Just don't tell. Yes I'm pretty sure that my the Young some would have been taught the right answer. LOL

Are you my mommy?

(The above sentence was written at about line 2 because you can't fool me you father)

Then I got to Titter. Now I need help. Assistance I mean, not help, I always need that.

Titter is an early version of twitter but without the birds or internet... :OD

Bloody Mommy, how come everyone and their dog seems to just get it! Gaaar!

!PIZZA

Nothing like explaining a joke I guess. I couldn't just let it go like an operating room mixup. Just thought you'd like to know I wouldn't have required explanation had I ever been to Teeter.

!DUMBCUNT (lemme know if that doesn't work)

Ahahahahahha, !DUMBCUNT

Fantastic. Imagine you could call it like that on random comments. That would be amazing!

Hate to require more than one explanation on the same day but what do you mean random?

!DUMBCUNT

Hahaha!! Not random, very specific ones! Thats just my English vernacular, We call everything random. I met this random guy at the shop, see!!

I am going to give you a !DUMBCUNT !PIZZA slice! Yeehaww!

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Riddles are an unnecessary waste of brain cells. In my younger days (when I had more brain cells) I could riddle with the best of them . Alas, now I can only stare blankly at the riddler and hope they give up lol. Sorry, I'm late for an appointment also sometimes works

Staring blankly works a treat for me. My daughter keeps badgering me with them and I am like, get away!!!

!PIZZA !!

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Her words crashed down on me like fat wet boobs.

Lol am starting to like the good Mrs

Haha!! She has a way with words!! :0)

!PIZZA !

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I admit it took me a while. Good thing Hive changed my life so I became progressed and cracked it.

Hehe, that's hive for ya!! ;0D

Love it! I am an 'author' myself

Hive makes authors of us all, which in most cases is a truly splendid thing!

In the words of the newb. I follow you now!!

Thank you sir! :)

:0)

You need to have a correctly wired up brain for riddles. Mine is full of crossed wires like the cable room in any corporate network department.

like a Hive 'author' coining in the rewards for their sneakily ghost-written articles.

Oooh.. a sneaky dig. There's a new post, but who wrote it?

Haha, I like a sneaky dig. Must have a look at the new one!

The same people that like riddles are probably the ones that like crosswords. Weird mad bastards! :0D

!PIZZA !

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Well of course women can be surgeons...but can they really be as good as male surgeons??? Now there is a real riddle for ya LOL 😀

Boom!!! Oh you will have the torch wielding b=mob at your door dude!! LOL!

I like to live dangerously lol.

You have lost the battle, but not the war... for now

Exactly. I am remarshalling my forces!!!

I'm a woman and my first thought was that the "son" was adopted and just met his real "father", shame on me then 😪

Oh that's a good one!!!

Welcome to the patriarchy!!! ;0)

!PIZZA

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Hello @meesterboom, your two girls gave you checkmate ha ha ha ha ha, all because of your sexism ha ha ha ha ha ha, you must give your arm to twist when they are right, do not put your imagination to fly.

I will have to work on that sexism! I guess you are never to old to learn!

To be fair to you, since the answer seemed to obviously be the mom, I thought it was too easy and maybe there was a trick? So I might have came to your conclusion for that reason 😆

Haha!! I would love to say that I thought the same and that it read too easy and went down a different route but hell no. I just overthunk it from the get go!!! I think I was wearing my doofus hat :0D

Now that I'm gett back into the groove here, I realized Im missing something...my meester needs to start his beer reviews back up, woot!

Hola chick! I tried one a few weeks ago but man, it was so much work. In fact, all the way through it I was thinking - fucking hell, its much nicer to just sit and drink the stuff!! :OD

Oh, I hear that! Maybe just make it a once a month slot :)

Thats an idea! The shop is open again so I don't have any blockers now, apart from my own laziness :OD

Is the bear man there? Tell me the bear man is still there 🙏!

Ugh, the emoji, I've been back walking my emoji addiction but it's hard! 😆🤣

Maybe, the father could be a twin 😁