What You Really Really Want

in #life2 years ago

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Work damn you! Why won't you work?!?!

I clicked my mouse furiously with my forefinger as if I were banging on the tiny door of a mouse's house to alert them of a fire.

Still, my tokens would not claim.

What is all the noise about?

The Good Lady breezed into the lounge as if on invisible roller skates and looked querulously in my direction.

It's this fucking site. I am trying to claim an airdrop. But it just fucking refuses to work. Gaaar. Hot fucking bananas, why? Why is this shit never simple??!

I pulled my fist back, there seemed little other option. It was time to punch the living daylights out of my laptop. Maybe then, it would learn a little humility and let me claim what was rightfully mine.

Stop that.

The Good Lady swatted a hand dismissively in the direction of my furious fist.

What exactly are you trying to do?

She looked at the screen of the laptop.

Oh, oh my?

I felt her tremble as she looked at the screen for the Larynx airdrop, it was one of 287 tokens that were part of the SPK airdrop.

The screen had a basic layout. If you lived in the 90s it would have looked like cutting edge stuff.

To make your claim you had to click a button that had a picture of an angry frog with two large teeth. After clicking the button a timer would appear innocuously in the bottom right, counting down from 62.

62 obviously coming from the famed Incan numerology system and meaning hell.

After the timer counted down, nothing would happen and the screen would go back to looking as if you had never clicked anything.

What's an airdrop?

The Good Lady interrupted my claim jabbing fingeriness.

Oh, it's free internet money. If you are in crypto they keep you on side by giving you shitcoins every now and then which you have to sell fast before everyone realises they are worthless.

I shrugged my shoulders in a whatchagonnado gesture at the madness of blockchain life.

So what is the big deal? Why are you getting so mad?

The Good Lady leaned over and poked a finger at my laptop to claim the mysterious and unclaimable Larynx tokens.

It's not working, that's why. Which means that everyone will sell them before I get there and I will miss out on some benjamins?!

I watched the timer tick its odd journey down from 62.

It was no use, I wasn't going to get my drop. At this rate, I wouldn't be able to claim them this month. The thought of all those benjamins flying out of my grasp irked me.

Then it came to me.

I might have to do that thing.

I said quietly.

Huh? What thing?

The Good Lady looked at me suspiciously.

You know that thing. The thing you do when you really really want something?

What thing? What are you talking about?

You know, the...

I lowered my voice to a sotto whisper and looked about furtively to make sure that no one was going to hear me give away the secrets to the very world itself.

...the thing with the potato and the sock...

I murmured, trying not to move my lips as if a wild dog had its arse perched on my face and I did not want it to think I was attempting to make some gammon quiche by moving my mouth.

The Good Lady furrowed her wispy little brow at me like a squirrel gnawing at an especially hard nut.

What thing with the potato? Have you lost your marbles?

She picked at some fluff on her top like an apex predator snuffing out the lives of the worthless.

The thing, you know? Where you, ahem, ejaculate in a sock and then put a potato in the sock and bury the spunky sock-clad potato in 'midnight soil' and then the next day the very thing you really wanted comes true?

Even as I said it I knew it sounded unbelievable but yet, how else could I explain the bounteous success of my life? As Sherlock Holmes said:

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth

Granted, he may not have been specifically referring to the act of burying a spunky potato wrapped in a sock in a garden under the glare of the midnight moon but it seemed very apt.

Oh god, you are disgusting. As if that is something you have ever done?

With a flounce that could only have been matched by Reese Witherspoon in the early noughties, the Good Lady huffed off to a room with more interesting things happening in it.

I too stood and murmured to myself guiltily.

Better see if we have any potatoes.

Sort:  

Air drop mouse-click finger hammering to no avail. Failure of the crypto gods. I see you have computer punching fantasies also, lol.

angry frog with two large teeth.

Sounds like time for a bullfrog

The thing, you know? Where you, ahem, ejaculate in a sock and then put a potato in the sock and bury the spunky sock-clad potato in 'midnight soil' and then the next day the very thing you really wanted comes true?

Is that a Scottish rite?

I could not miss the nipple slip display in your cover image. I'm impressed. Since nipples have been front and center the last few days.....too long of a story..... suffice to say, it's nipplicious time. I'm very happy to present you with the first #proofofnipple award, since you have shown nipple in your post. Congratulations!!!

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The icon reminded me of a hungry frog. I suspect I have been watching far too many frog time videos!

We Scots do not divulge our rites. Definitely not. Unless it is on a public blockchain and everyone can see of course :OD

If that's the first proof of nipple award then I am humbled! I shall cut it out and wear it as a badge of honour!

It is a strangely captivating GIF, lol!

There's never enough too much when it comes to those videos, thanks for passing on the addiction. I have it in mind to get some others addicted to those videos. Sharing is caring.

We Scots do not divulge our rites. Definitely not. Unless it is on a public blockchain and everyone can see of course :OD

Pass ✅. I had to check, been seeing some funny as f*** that was crazy. The world's not gone totally weird yet but it's getting there. I so gotta up my weird game.

That is the first one, LOL, very first public appearance.

I shall cut it out and wear it as a badge of honour!

I'm dying here, LMAO.

It is a strangely captivating GIF, lol!

I cite Loud & Proud influences. These guys. Stuck with nipples in my head since Saturday and committing to a secret (for now) nipple project. Ended up straying into gif territory in the process, plus some joking on Hive, add that all together and now there's a string of nipples in my mind waiting to pop up.

A string of nipples... Lol, that makes me invisage some kind of knitted nipple attire like a jersey or smart coat made of the dashed things!

Then there would be no need for badges as the whole thing would be a badge!

I look forward to more info dropping on this bizarrely alluring project ::OD

😂 Giving me ideas that will cause far too much disturbance on the street here. I blend, but not a bullfrog in a blender style.

Also, I should clarify, a string of nipples rolling on the sea. I took a break to play around with the gif in preparation to get that sea rolling. I did do a sacrifice ritual to invoke the power of the nipple, but probably shouldn't say that on chain, someone might put in the dark arts category.

There is a more of misinterpretation of art and creativity on the chain as satanic sadly. Best not!

Which is plain daft. Sometimes the crusaders for freedom don't realise that they impinge upon our freedoms with their crusades!

LOL, that'd be right on point, sigh.

Which is plain daft. Sometimes the crusaders for freedom don't realise that they impinge upon our freedoms with their crusades!

Daft, haven't heard that word in a while, good choice. Freedom does not reside outside oneself, not that I've ever found. I wonder if these people ever clean out their own closets before projecting whatever thought forms out there.

🤣The potato and spunky sock sounds like something we Irish would do. The missus had to test a sample last year. Some auld one had a spud sproating out of her fa jay jay. She cut it in half and shoved it up ther to stop her womb from falling out. Turns out it was prime spud conditions up there and it started growing a nice long sproat hence the embarrassing hospital visit.
The SPK airdrop was a walk in the park compared to the polycub airdrop claim that can what only be described as the Bermuda fucking triangle!

Hahahahah, oh man, that is prime spud growing conditions up there!! She should have used a cork!! Like one of those big giant ones yo get for kilner jars!

Ah the Polycub drop. That was and continues to be an absolute twisted nightmare! Have you heard about the divide by zero bug? Horrifying!

Kilner Jars 🤣🤣.
I threw it all into Xpolycub and what ever happens happens. When I saw all , I'm talking about around 40 polycub. 🤣

Xpolycub! It sounds good on the outside but as the value goes up the polycub goes down. I wonder how it will all pan out.

That's where the famed kilner jar design came from, the boy's gran needed something to stop her innards hanging down like a portugese man-o-war!

Dam those magic X beans. You are a Leo Discord lurker so you know all the inside chats from within the shadows of the Discord backalley. This place is like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy!🤣
I remember back in my college days stacking Kilners in the baking section and wondering to myself, who the fuck buys these jars. Now I know. Grannys needing these to stop her innards hanging down like the chimes on a grandfather clock.

Like the cookies on a grandfather's clock... Lol!!

I wondered the same. I saw them in shops and thought, who would bit a giant glorified jam jar!?

Now many years on, I look at them in my cockatoos and wonder, who's bajinash are they destined to go up?

I hope it's not mine!

Ah, the shitcoin airdrops! They truly are marvelous things! I have absolutely no idea how to get them myself, but I have watched hubs many a time in a very similar situation...

...perhaps I should tell him about the potato and the sock for next time? XD

Tell him. It will be a game changer. Everything will be on the up after that! :OD

Why do I have a feeling that in your garden shed, under the floor, is a secret room with a little bed, an old Nintendo and some lovely snacks and a little odd potato child, half spud half Scott with a stocking on his head like a little cap with a shock of ginger hair sticking out of it...I hope you feed him well, your potato sock son, when one considers his passage into being...I wonder if he will still grant wishes, this potato boy? Is he like a golden goose with endless eggs or is it 3 wishes and I'll become a real boy (or a potato depending on the state of the world which might be the better)

Life must never be dull round yours :) @meesterboom

Perhaps the very creation of the little potato boy was the magic of the wish and there is no more left to give?

Haha, I think you are by far the better seasoned story teller than me!

Oh I am so using the potato sock method next time I need something. Hey didnt you always want a nice vintage Les Paul or was it a Strat? Might be worth a jerk try. Socks and taters are cheap at Walmart still.

Hahaha, I wanted a Gibson! For some reason I have never been drawn to Fender's. So many guitars to lust after and so little chance of getting them!

Looks like more socks are needed!

I've not tried the spunky potato sock thing. Maybe that's why I'm not a millionaire. I will take whatever Magic Internet Money I can get though. The SPK think did seem flakey as my MIM came and went whenever I checked. All this stuff is based on faith, but some will just cash in on that for a quick buck. I'm sure some of these projects deliberately use obscure language that nobody really understands, but many will pretend to so they seem clued in.

BTW Does it matter if the socks are old and holey?

That is what happened to me, the claim happened then it didn't then it looked as if nothing was happening, rinse and repeat several times before it finally showed up and stayed there. I do love the MIM, which is what I may call it from here on in!

BTW Does it matter if the socks are old and holey?

The Holy'er the better ;OD

Hi @meesterboom ,Haaaaaaaa we already know the secret of your success ha ha ha ha, I have a question, what do you do with the stocking after it grants your wish? I guess it's something magical and it wouldn't be appropriate to vote for it haaaaaaaaaaa, I imagine the good lady's face when you whispered your magical secret to her haaaaaaa, you're disgusting haaaaaaaa, she loves you too much to put up with all your stuff, you're lucky.
A hug :)

And even worse it is no longer a secret! I have given away the keys to the kingdom and I can only hope that not everyone starts becoming hideouslty successful by using the trick! lol :O)

Lmfao..oh man I'm crying over here.. I actually had no problem with the claim

No problem!!! Oh man, it must have been a ropey moment when I was doing it. The bastard wouldn't do anything!! I did get it in the end right enough. But it was balls! :0F

I did the whole thing on my phone in less time than it takes to fill a sock

On your phone too? Fucking hell, I can hardly get anything to work on my phone. I blame hivesigner, it sucks ass!

I used Hivesigner.. and I do 100% of HIVEing on my phone..

8 used to do all mine from my old phone. Then working from home hit and I got a new phone and everything is fecked and I can't be bothered fixing it?

As a professional agronomist give me some advice: young or old tuber? Picasso or Red Sonia?

Ah, wise is the way of Agronomy! I think there is never any doubt, in all walks of life the Red Sonia must be chosen! :OD

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Look at that lovely potato face!

Somewhere, an Irishman boarded a ship for Scotland muttering ... "Ye dunnae be wastin' a wee pattato while I can still draw breath."

An Irish mafioso determined to end this nonsense once and for all!! :0)

Who (besides you) comes up with something like that sock and potato ritual xD

eta which also sounds like a euphemism for something

Did you manage to get the thing working after all that?

I am glad that there are not many to come up with such things, what an awful world that would be to live in!

I got it working, it must have been a glitch as it totally didn't work and then when it did it was easy. Still don't like the site and the exchange though. Did you get yours?

I don't even go looking for them and I probably should x_x but thinking about it makes me mentally run screaming ^_^;

Never look, pretend it doesnt happen and carry on with your life hoping to ignore that yawning black evil that lurks in the underside of everything!! :OD

Well I do the first one and the rest I just figure I can do without while watching everyone else crying about their struggles XD

but I do sincerely hope it makes you all rich for your efforts

There is a joy to be had in watching those struggles, that is true!

I doubt I will ever be rich but I like to entertain the thought that somehow it could happen!

Lmao this is hilarious all the way through. I actually lol'd through the entire paragraph about free internet money. 🤣

Why is this shit never simple??!

Lol the story of crypto. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so.
I basically always assume that everyone on Hive is a expert at crypto and bought bitcoin back in 2010-11 and that I'm the only crypto illiterate here. I love hearing about other people's struggles. It's a real confidence booster lol

It seems that way when you read a myriad of posts about yield optimisation and setting up multi keystores and blah blah blah and then you have the likes of us that get paralysed with fear because x didn't happen when you clicked y - lol!

Haha I have a mini heart attack almost any time I move crypto from one place to another and I find it stressful when airdrops happen. I'm like: oh shit! I have to do things now.
Lol

Yeah, I know that feeling. I was saying in a comment the other day that my hardware wallet failed and I had to restore it from the emergency backup and I was trembling and white with terror!!! But then, I'm like that when I do a small transfer to an exchange and make a mistake with the memo, lol

I know the feeling 😂
The first example sounds like my nightmares

I didn't have much trouble claiming that airdrop but from now on I think I'll have some potatoes handy, just in case!

!PIZZA

Always have them to the side as you never know! :OD

I'll say the old woman really had a lot of time listening to all you had to say, but it seems like at some point she realized she had no solution to your complaint that's why she left for a better place where she will have more fun 😅😅.

Nice write-up, I enjoyed reading through.

I think in many many cases she finds somewhere else a better place to be than listening to be with my crypto woes!! :0D

😅😅, that's really funny, which means you always like bothering her with your crypto stories😅😅. That's really fun, keep I up, she will appreciate it someday.

I do. I chase her about sometimes trying to explain coins and exchanges and even worse, DeFi coins. When I got to them she just thought I was a weirdo!! Tbh, I don't quite blame her. Hopefully it all works out! :0)

Airdrop has been a difficult concept for me, it took me so long to learn it. But I am well versed now 🙃

Quick, get a 'how to' post up there for newbies and save them the pain!! We have our all to do again next month!! :0)

To make your claim you had to click a button that had a picture of an angry frog with two large teeth. After clicking the button a timer would appear innocuously in the bottom right, counting down from 62.

62 obviously coming from the famed Incan numerology system and meaning hell.

You funny guy! I wish it actually worked like that. The server was clearly overloaded. I managed to claim an hour or so after, though. I even hang out with one of the 3speak devs - and ohters - in discord voice chat later and had a good talk. It's clear to me that this has potential to be way more than a shitcoin, so don't sell too low too soon ;<)

Apparently, this is a claim drop not an air drop, you only get it when you actually claim ( in time ).

With a flounce that could only have been matched by Reese Witherspoon in the early noughties,

Sounds sexy.

P.S. I never heard of the potato and the sock magic. I should not have thrown away the baby sock that I found in my basement, yesterday afternoon...

I claimed! And sold a lot of it. I know there is more to come so if there is any potential for it after some time has passed Iwill defo keep some. The first one though is always a special one to sell for any airdrop :O)

Trust me, once you start potato socking, you ain't stopping. Or something. I should have worked in the ad industry... :OD

I should have worked in the ad industry... :OD

That would probably have been a better match than you working in the potato industry.

Although...

There could have been a magical joining of the two!

I would have liked to work in ads but I don't think I would fancy standing in front of a room of folk trying to explain why something was funny/catchy/trendy!

Oh, it's free internet money. If you are in crypto they keep you on side by giving you shitcoins every now and then which you have to sell fast before everyone realises they are worthless.

I've been struggling to define Airdrop to the many one person that has asked me recently. This should be in the dictionary :)

Its the only reason I can think that they keep doing em! Apart from getting money on the sly for themselves. Not any of our good Hive projects I might add :O)

It was the easiest airdrop I have ever claimed. The Good Lady must have done it quickly 😁

For some folk it has just worked. I think they must have lucky fingers!

it was one of 287 tokens that were part of the SPK airdrop.

It is enough to make you quake in yer boots. I still don't know what that countdown malarkey is.

I have no idea why it counts down from 62? 62, why that number. Its madness!

Did you relieve yourself of those ahem.. throat tokens yet?

I did, I think the last of them are going as we SPK! I cant say I am keen to keep em. Get em out the door!

Next month, it will happen all over again!

I suspect the pickings will be somewhat less on the value next time!

Awesome! Always love your thumbnails!

Thank you man! I liked going a little risque with that exposed nip on this one :OD

Inspiration from a vlog I saw yesterday perhaps? :O :D

Hahaha, inspiration comes from many many places! ;OD

You are welcome! hahaha

Aha, so that's how it's done!. I don't need it for the SPK...I managed that all on my own. As for the polycub, well I could use a little help with that one. A sock and potato huh? Check...now I just have to troll up and down my street and ask people to make a deposit in my sock. How difficult can it be? I have bail money set aside in case it all goes wrong.

Polycub is a bugger. I put all my transactions through at aggresive in Metamask as before I started doing that they were all failing!

Dont worry, when people realise you are onto the secret of the sock they will be carrying you through the streets on their shoulders! Their dry shoulders no less!

woohooo...

*note to self - stock up on socks

I'm still working on the polycub dealio. Pretty soon I'll get fed up and hit up the discord lmao.

The discord is where the magic happens. I have it on good authority. I got help there when I appeared to have overclaimed. No idea how that could have happened. I surely wasn't being over eager? :O)

phht! of course not! Is overclaiming even a thing? I say if they gave it to you, you should be able to keep it, kinda like Amazon LOL.

Exactly like Amazon. I swear that my motives were pure... Ahem, mostly

Tamara you sound like my kinda person - needing bail money for if it all goes wrong... yup almost been there and done that lol.

LOL best to be prepared!

Indeed! I just saw your post about your analysis paralysis and not knowing what to plant...I know it was a few months ago, did you manage to draw up the plan or did you just wing it?

Hahahaha so THAT is where all the socks that go missing actually are. Hmmm interesting. I did not know this. Is this specifically a Scottish thing? I mean you know, potatoes and all, it seems like a very Scottish thing to do.

Let me know if it works won't you? The game's afoot :)

The game's afoot... LOL!

If it was a thing then it would be a very Scottish thing. It would certainly explain the missing socks so perhaps I have tapped into something that actually occurs the world over! But no one ever admits they know ... :OD

Lol

Good story.

Had me in hysterics, the whole train carriage is now staring at like I'm a mad man.

Sometimes when the whole train carriage is starting at you like a madman you truly feel alive! ;0D

And sometimes when you are stared at you pray they don't call mental health services so you don't get picked up on the next stop with a straight jacket.

That would be a bit of a downer for the end of the train journey that is true.

That is an understatement.

Oh, it's free internet money. If you are in crypto they keep you on side by giving you shitcoins every now and then which you have to sell fast before everyone realises they are worthless.

And this is actually true. At least to many Hive Engine tokens. I saw many tokens at a relatively good price at first, but then later their price fell down. Nowadays I cannot even sell some of my tokens simply because there are no buy orders, just/only sell orders. For example Swiss Hive (SH). I currently have 1301.43803759 SH.

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It is absolutely true! Sometimes it is good to hodl if you believe in a project but for a lot of them it is smart to dump em when they have any actual value.

It is a two headed coin tho sometimes a coin can go up. but you can rest assured that most go down down down!

Yes. I learned this well with the SPS. I remember when it was around $0.90 USD. I had more than 200 SPS in that time, so I could have been sold it for around $200 USD, but I did not. Nowadays the SPS is around $0.10 USD, and nowadays I have around 530 SPS, so based on the current value, I could sell it for around $53 USD. Of course at first I would need to unstake it first. I am still staking all of my SPS. I hope that the value of the SPS will increase after the end of the SPS airdrop.

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I think in that case it will go up after the airdrop. When the 'free money' drop ends there is no longer that onslaught of selling. Besides, Splinterlands is different, it has a real life product. I think it will go far. Well, I am saying that because I have a stake too!

Oh, cool story👌

PIZZA!

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😂😂😹🤣 fecking hilarious

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