My Hive Post

in #life2 days ago (edited)

Some folks have noticed I've gone silent again.  There are several good reasons and maybe a few excuses I could offer you people.  The main problem though is the fact I'm now three sentences in and already feel like I shouldn't be doing this.

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It's all my fault.

I take the blame but my brain is difficult to explain.

Lacking the ability to enter your minds in order to discover a few variances that could lead to a more factual experience when it comes time to make a few comparisons, well, that only makes coming up with an accurate explanation of what's happening to me upstairs at least twelve times harder than it truly needs to be if I take a wild guess and don't actually use math.

Are you following?

You see, within my mind I have these things called, thoughts.

It's basically me talking inside of my head instead of using my outside voice or this keyboard to demonstrate ideas to the public.

What I'm noticing quite often is how what's on the inside grows and travels at speeds my physical form simply cannot fathom.  In my mind I'm already at the end of this post, it's done, so I'm heading outside for a cigarette but forgot my lighter.  In reality I'm only this far.

My mind is ahead of its time.

The thoughts can be best described as interdimensional beings on their own planes of existence overlapping and happening all at once.  Each is its own flash of light or spark and when observed through some kind of internalized detection device I've yet to find a proper name for (mindoscope, brainoscope, thoughtovision), I see and/or hear entire data dumps that form some kind of a language only I can understand, some days.

Other days like today, the other day, and lately, it's just gibberish going pew-pew-pew pew-pew pew pew-pew-pew-pew pew pew-pew pew-pew pew-pew pew-pew-pew-pew bang pop sizzle sizzle pew, and so on.

You'd think it would be beautiful like getting a blowjob under fireworks on a warm summer evening but it's not.  It's more like that annoying neighbor who works on muscle cars yet sucks at being a mechanic but still wants to spend all weekend revving engines until they blow up.  Then his wife comes out and they start arguing again.  Then the fucking dog is barking and the kids are crying.  Cops show up and he's out there twitching on the lawn getting tazed for the third time this month.  She's crying and kicking cop cars yelling about, "Don't take my husband!"  Then grandma has to come pick up the kids who don't want to leave until she starts bribing them with the potential of chicken nuggets from McDonald's where they discover there was Covid in the sauce three days too late.

It was fun to watch the first time but now it's going stale.

With so much chaos going on inside my own personalized, internalized and compressed universe, finding one thing to sit here and yap about is an impossibility.

Who the hell would want to read garbled up unprocessed thought vomit with a dash of nonsense leading to a void of nothingness?  Can you even imagine what that would look like?

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That's an old picture.

Which leads me to my next point since that's what segues do.

Many of you know, over the years, I spent a lot of time producing digital art then placing that work conveniently under your noses with the hopes you'd use your eyes to see.

That all took thousands of hours worth of purified concentration.  I haven't had much time to focus at those levels lately and when I do find a moment, haunting thoughts like to weasel their way inside and start munching on the insulation that separates my terrible life from the life I'd rather be living.

So many distractions nowadays.

I've always been driven to work hard towards seemingly impossible goals I set for myself.  Sometimes it's all thought, no action.  Other times the results exceed my expectations and I'm left wondering if I actually managed to pull that off on my own, or did some kind of higher power step in to cut me some slack.

Have I been possessed by ancient aliens?

You know your confidence is shot when you can't even accept the fact maybe, just maybe, you actually did something right, for a change, all on your own.

But I still make damn sure to remain grateful as I travel through this humbling realm upon a crusting fireball drifting through the emptiness that is how I feel.

My mind is crammed with absolute unproductivity, these days.  I'm distracted by the world falling apart.  I feel fucking dirty trying to get attention from a world that barely pays attention to itself.  I'm not bigger than the problems, nor am I the solution.

I am nothing, and for now, that feels good.

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Anywho

I'm still around enjoying the worlds some of you folks create for me to experience.

I always found it to be incredibly difficult to focus on my own thing, then go pay attention to yours.  Now I have all the time in the world to sit back and enjoy the show. That's what I feel like doing.

I'll go back to the daily grind, posting my own brand of chaos, at some point, when I feel like the time is right.  I've always said this platform needs far more consumers so rather than talking about it, I'll simply become one of those and try to have fun.

Yeah.

Have a nice day!

Credits:
All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
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"And that, as they say, is that."

© 2020 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.

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Awwe, I'm going to miss reading that non-sense of yours...just as I was getting into it again! When you are gone, the platform misses you, it's that one bit emptier. (people actually do ask about you! ) but I get it, I go thru my no writing juices times too. Have a nice break!

I'll still be around this time, unless I decide to cut off the internet again, but I don't see that happening since it's winter, again, somehow. Expect sporadic posts. One day I'll wake up full of piss and vinegar, motivated by something nonsensical, then drop it on the floor for you folks to explore. For the most part I'll be around commenting, sprinkling the platform with tidbits of my bullshit.

I'd say welcome back, but I have seen you out and about commenting lately. But I think I will still say welcome back, purely for the diabolical pictures. Diabolical because they make me see things. I for one am glad that my brain thoughts don't spill out to fast, I have had to many of those 'oh shit, I am glad I did not say that out loud moments' it is really bad though sometimes when you do say them out loud.

So back to the picture. I really like it, it is like a dodo getting ready to try and fly for the first time with a donkeyram and pan flutist sitting by to watch the show all the while a demon bull is sitting in silence licking his chops at the thought of dinner flying right into his mouth.

Or it could just be a mote in someones eye.

It has been nearly three weeks since my last post. I only dropped four after being gone for a few months. I been here every day though, shooting the shit, talking a bit of business, too.

Want to know a secret about that picture? Of course you do. It's called: Santa Came Early In Your Ass

I can't remember the original post I wrote when I released it. So long ago now and I have so many. I'm thinking I was going for the funny approach though. I miss mocking myself...

Sometimes we are the best person to make fun of ourselves. There always was something fishy about a guy that would slither down chimneys to steal milk and cookies and leave coal in stockings of his targets.

Most of my posts and comments somehow make me look like an idiot. Such a strange habit to have. And that coal mining pedophile will most likely be the next victim of cancel culture.

Somehow it seems like the wrong things about culture are being cancelled, but for me it is nothing new as for quite awhile in Alaska if it was More American than Athabaskan Cultural norm it got cancelled, such as drink beer at the ball game and eating hot dogs. (not allowed)

When I was a kid, I had a couple teachers who were into bullying people into seeing things their way, which is what cancel culture is, basically. I remember being fascinated with Nintendo, writing a speech, being shot down in front of everyone after presenting my thoughts to the class, receiving a failing grade. Some of that had to do with how the media would tell people how these games are violent and destroy the minds of children. That whole spiel. I got the same treatment as the kid who did a presentation on guns, since he liked to hunt. We were both devastated and what's worse is how the rest of the kids feared doing anything even remotely close to standing up for us. That's cancel culture. Not being able to have a rational discussion. Simply shut people down and make damn sure others see it so they fear the same treatment, all while presenting yourself as a savior to humanity. False empaths. The darkness disguised as light. Psychopathy at its finest...

It's more like that annoying neighbor who works on muscle cars yet sucks at being a mechanic but still wants to spend all weekend revving engines until they blow up

Hahah this is me. I wish I had the cool skills and cars but it doesn’t work out.

Aren’t our minds wild things? It goes a lot faster than other things and we have to let it play catch up with the other faculties.

The desire and creative ability ebbs and flows like many things. I'm in a ebb myself currently but that's okay, we go through cycles as part of life. I've enjoyed your musings so I'm sure I'll be here when you next post one!

Yeah, the mind is really something. Starting to wonder if thought travels faster than light, and maybe that's why it's hard to gather them all, since they're gone before they got here, yet somehow still fully there.

Dude that was a mind fuck.

Like getting tazed while banging.

You do you man. I will just wait here are devour what you spout when it's right.

Wait you didn't read the sign at the front?

I been fucking minds for over four years here. It's starting to get raw.

Here, have some Vaseline.

You don't want to get scabs there.

You sound like an expert. Thanks for the medicine.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Experts gotta save skin

Watch out he about to get buck naked

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That there be the anti-dermatologist.

Oh please consume me! I think our brains were created in the same lab. I always treated mine as a gift. I think I wrote the plot to the matrix in my head when I was 6 years old...”merrily merrily merrily merrily....ohhhh shit, none of this is real! I get it!” So I don’t mind the way I always have 70 tabs open on my human operating system. ❤️

Maybe it's a gift but like most gifts, there's always a catch. Can't even sleep now without some sound like a podcast or documentary playing in the background. The internalized never ending story just becomes far too entertaining and doesn't shut off. I'm not even creating it. Simply shows up uninvited and expects a sandwich.

You can both make and consume things. Maybe not at the same time, or maybe you can? I know I can only do one or the other but I don't like to assume things about other people XD

It's possible. I did it for four years on and off. Creating anything lately has been nearly impossible. I start but don't finish. Like the start of this post states, I'm three lines in, already losing interest or focus. Been a battle. Lost a bit of motivation, maybe some confidence. Can't even seem to wing it. Time to just sit back and do nothing for a bit.

Been super busy or just in a random mental lull? Either of those things happens sometimes and sitting back and doing nothing for a bit usually seems to be the right thing to do in those cases.

Not really busy. Trying to enjoy some downtime though as best I can while I wait for that little lightbulb to come back. I'm not interested at all in forcing out random shit posts for potential profit. I think if there were more folks around I'd feel more pressure to put on a good show. Sometimes it feels like I wasted a lot of good material on a very small market. At the same time, much of that previous work was spontaneous and I was only doing it for fun, so in that sense it's not a waste and some people still got to enjoy it, which is important to me and look around, plenty of people still showing up to my little parties. I need something pushing me. So I'm just waiting for that shove. I still enjoy being here, even if I'm not doing anything with my content at the moment. I might do a weekly episode, and put several hours into that post. That's something that's been crossing my mind. Really up the ante around here.

You have some pretty good little parties :)

As always… but, sometimes not, it was a pleasure to stumble across another post from a fellow genius of twisted, procrastinate mind... STAY different… fuck those self-appointed "Influencers" who seem to strain at attempts to mold us into subservient Hive fools, worshipping at their feet😎

Gee... That rant certainly felt good... I should do it more often (I think?)

Man... This world ain't shit without the freakshow.

What would one do in that worse case scenario...?!?!?

Plaster on a fake smile and pretend to enjoy forced perfection.

not sure how much have you been around. you seen the NFTShowroom? maybe it would be interesting for you.

I've seen it but haven't really looked hard into it. There's a far more profound business model on the horizon I'm more interested in. Is there an actual market of consumers on NFTShowroom or is it mostly local and current members?

i just tried it as not that much in the digital art (as most people don't look at photography as digital art :D ), and don't have enough of crypto to spend on it. so i am not sure how many people got there from outside.
There was also an idea of photography and stock photography (that sounded interesting for me) but it is a slow process and needs some good ideas to be implemented.

Generic marketplace settings don't appeal to me much. Eventually the market is flooded with product and it becomes something like Amazon. Thousands of books that sold zero copies and they've been sitting on the shelves for years.

I'm consumeringing just now. It's quite pleasurable although it does emphasise the lower number of genuine entertaining posts that I like that are about just now.

It's 4 am here. "That are about just now." Are you fucking with me or am I fucked? What do you mean?

I can enjoy kicking back for awhile though. I look back, I feel like I did a good job, accomplished something. So where do I go from here...

No fucking! Not a lot of posts about right now for the consuming. I'm still enjoying being part ofit all though.

I feel I accomplished something too. I look forward to posting again but for now I'm gonna chill

Where have all the entertainers gone?

Oh, here we are. Yeah it's tough to find consistently unique consumables. Some folks are still doing a fine job though. If you ever find something fucking hilarious be sure to call out my name and I'll come running.

Honestly, I'm kind of hoping for a big crowd again so I can put on a show. I don't mind the small venue thing but damn, it's been four years and so many folks who absolutely loved my shit are nowhere to be seen. Stopped caring about the money long ago. I want the people back. Some I really miss having around.

Same here with the money. It's the joy of it.

I want big, I like lots of people milling about, up in everyone's business. They were good days. Hopefully we will see them again

Damn good days, man. Even when prices were low back in the day people were excited. Those who weren't here might say it was different but, that's how I remember it.

You remember it correctly. The excitement was palpable in all areas.

Christ, I hope we don't become like those jaded old hobos that talk about how everything used to be so much better 🤣🤣

Oh fuck you're right. Better tone it down a bit.

Nothing is something

I wrote about everything being nothing and something all at the same time, once.

There's no time to write about nothing unless something isn't not driving you

Isn't not self driving cars the way of the future?

In future cars drive you...

Move at your own pace, procrastination is the key to creativity!

That's the plan, man. If something becomes clear, I'll put it here.

Not bad for your upvotes! I did mine!

Thank you. Enjoy your share!

Good story