After reading about your family/work situation it got me thinking...

Something interesting that I've learned over the years is the power of deeply letting go. Bad relationships, bad jobs, bad past decisions. I'm not saying that it is easy, but really, at the deepest level; letting go is the true path to enlightenment. Not just figuratively, but it is the actual path to awakening at the heart of many contemplative practices.

We grasp at things on such a subtle level that even consciously we're not necessarily even aware of them. Our moment to moment impossible desires are actually quite painful and leave us endlessly unsatisfied. Some find this statement frustrating because sure, it's easy to say, 'just let go of it!' but in reality, intellectual knowledge is not the same thing as insight/wisdom.

I've always thought that a great illustration is as follows. A small child sits in front of a fire and his mother says:

Don't Touch the fire! It will burn you.

That is what we all call passing on of knowledge, right? But the insight isn't there yet in the child's mind. There is no wisdom; only information. No fundamental understanding.

Now, let's say the kid sticks his hand in the fire anyway. He obviously gets a good burn and an immediate strong sensation of pain. He also gains something else incredibly useful.

This is right where wisdom is born.

I think on an intellectual level we think we know what's good for us, but more often than not; if we look deep down on an experiential level - there is a knowing that we're ignoring. I think you pointed at this in your post. You were unhappy on so many levels for a long time, but probably rationalized it away with conventional thoughts such as "Good paying job is happiness". "Wife and family are happiness even though there is a lot wrong here".

I guess a lot of what we call 'conventional wisdom' is less wisdom and more social engineering/cultural conditioning.