Self-Deception and the pain of Knowing Thyself...

The human being is very good at the art of deception. We deceive others as to our intentions, our beliefs, and our actions.
(I'm a little bit shit at it, personally. I can do it but prefer not to do it. I'm comfortable with who I am.).

The 'talent' of deception is a double edged sword, however.

...As people see positive results from deceiving others, self deception starts to play a bigger and bigger role.
And this can be very dangerous for the individual.

Can can rid ourselves of harmful self deceptions?

We need to start with knowing what reality is.

The reality is that humans - all humans - are imperfect.

Each one of us is flawed in a multitude of ways.
We make countless mistakes.
Are unsuccessful in many of our endeavors.
We have numerous bad habits.

But despite all these flaws that we know we posses - we have a basic need to think well of ourselves.
We want (need?) to believe that we are good. That the path in life that we've chosen is a good one.

The easiest way to reconcile our need for a positive self-image with the existence of our shortcomings is through hiding our defects - both from ourselves - and to others.

We're often far better at deceiving ourselves, than we are at hiding our flaws from others. (Especially those close to us).

INTERNAL MASKING

This is the modern term that's used to describe self deception.
But self-deception also takes another form - called external masking - whereby we deny aspects or events of the outer world which pose a threat to our self-image.
(statist or leftist ideologues, for example, will ignore the evils actions of the state - because it compromises their own benevolent self image).
...Or someone who believes that they're a well-liked, interesting person, may be oblivious to social cues pointing to the fact that others dislike them and they are 'as dull as dishwater'.

The use of the internal and external masking, creates what is be called 'our noble lie'.
This is the internal dialogue that we tell ourselves so as to maintain a positive self-image, in the face of our many flaws.

Having a positive self-image is very beneficial, but problems arise when it is overly reliant on the use of internal and
external masking.
A healthy self image can easily become narcissistic in quality, when our self deceptions become too 'out of sync' with reality.
It becomes - increasingly - more and more fragile, causing a physiological discomfort.

Our self deceptions can hold for many years . Years of lying to ourselves and denying who we are, rather than dealing with our weaknesses.
Self deceptions begin to falter when reality conflicts with the perceived self image.
Breaking down 'the false self' is a difficult process, but also extremely beneficial in the long term.

This is because it's a terrifying prospect that one's self image - one's character - was built on a lie.
People will flee in the opposite direction of facing reality, rather than suffer the pain of accepting that they've been fooled - by themselves!
(in Freudian terms, the ID flee's, while the ego tries to negotiate it's way out of the quagmire of it's own creation).

Daily routines, and busying ourselves with work, social interactions, the accumulation of material things - and to the security of social conformity.
(see my post on conformity https://peakd.com/hive-122315/@lucylin/conformity-non-conformity-and-being-authentic)

People who are insecure .i.e., don't know who they are - will instinctively protect themselves himself against the truth, if it makes them psychologically uncomfortable.

Conformity, and the playing out of social roles, can help shore up our self-deception.

Conformity insists on less thought being done by the individual.

Depending on the individuals desire to know who they really are, conformity becomes a real curse.

In the short time span that is our lives, it's far better to
become aware of our own self deceptions at the earliest time possible.
How many people busy themselves - pride themselves even - on working long hours, working hard - and thus denying themselves any real time to think internally?
When avoidance strategies are seen as socially positive, noble attributes, (in the conformists world) it becomes increasingly easier to ignore trying to now thyself.
It's not in the self interest of the conformist, to even ever attempt to broach such subjects!
The need for Social conformity will try to divert our attention towards vain pursuits like material wealth, or attaining social hierarchy.

As years - if not decades - go by, and relying on our self-deceptions becomes a default setting, it's still possible break down our false, self deceptions.

They are rooted in beliefs.
Beliefs, which at some point in the past, we entertained as a 'truth'. Reality.

These false beliefs are as result of trauma (in extreme cases) or pain.
The pain that accompanied the past experience produced the
deception.
It is the psyche trying to deal with the pain, to rationalize a reality (to create a new reality in the mind), that minimizes the pain.

It can be said that we all know the manner in which we deceive ourselves, but to know 'that manner' requires some degree of introspection and self criticism.
(the narcissist cannot 'go there', for example - as it would destroy their fragile self image)

Nietzsche suggested one way that we can make our faults more palatable, is by viewing the development of your own character
similar to creating of a work of art...
The initial stages (in constructing a work of art), contains many flaws.
An artist who deceives himself in regards to these flaws never creates anything of worth.

Why?

...because a true artist must learn to observe the flaws, acknowledge them, and then make the necessary corrections.
Some flaws may be beyond the artists ability to correct.
(In the conformist personality, it's akin to the artist voluntarily agreeing to wearing a blindfold).

The artist who can see the flaws, can strive to find a
purpose for them, rather than trying to ignore them.
No human is perfect.
This acceptance of the flaws, then goes on to contribute to the art work, as a whole piece.

We can either attempt to overcome these flaws - or when this is not possible - accept them. (less controlling, and psychologically healthier).

We can then see these 'flaws' as just another part of our expression of our uniqueness.

USING SELF DECEPTION TO FIND SELF AWARENESS

You can use self deception as a tool to initiate a transformation - into 'a self' that we are striving - wish - to become.
Changes in our emotions and belief structures can be constructed through the use of unauthentic actions.

....if one is striving to 'remake themselves' then initially they'll need to act fraudulently to themselves - brainwash themselves for a preferred outcome, if you will.
One of the most powerful and profound changes in my own psyche - was ditching the word 'should' in my vocabulary.
(I've written many times on the use of this word, and the negative psychological baggage that it carries).

Such a tiny, tiny, 'action' - that did - quite literally - alter my entire world view - in a only a matter of months...

You need to 'act' as the person that you wish to become (self deception).
The artist begins with imitating something of the external world, and then mimicking it back - in their own unique expression.
Understanding the difference - at all times - between honest self deception, and dishonest ego driven motivations, is the tricky part..._
(The ego will always attempt to rationalize any behaviors).

Self deception entails far more suffering in the long term, than the other painful alternative - of knowing thyself.

Wasting your life on pointless pursuits - is wasting the only asset that you have - TIME.
Conformity is a waste of your time
Repetition is a waste of your time.

...coming to the realization that we are, in fact, not going to live forever, mitigates the wasting of that time.
Knowing thyself is the first step in understand this very real, reality.
Living life is, indeed, a game...
...but wasting the time that you do have - through self deception - is, perhaps, the cruelest thing that you can ever inflict on yourself.
WASTING TIME is not a game.
It's utterly ridiculous and the ultimate in masochistic acts... if you think about it...

Dostoevsky:
".... above all don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie, comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others..."
(sounds a little bit like leftism, to me..)