I've been working through some difficult emotionally draining scenarios over the last little while; nothing I can't handle (mostly) but I've felt drained and a little flat. It's like I'm constantly on-point, perpetually having to operate at my peak and needing to lift heavy shit which saps me emotional and physical energy.
I'm not a stranger to that feeling and, in the past, have managed to facilitate it well however I'm finding it more rapidly depletes and expends my energy emotionally these days. This, most probably, is due to the way things pile upon one another, each scenario grinding me down a little more. I've always been able to lift heavy shit, I get the job done, do a lot and look for more and generally make things happen. I've required help though, either in the tasks themselves, the lifting, or with the emotional aspect, which helps prop me up, push me forward and prevent me breaking under the pressure. Bending is ok. Breaking isn't.
At times of duress, physical or emotional, I have tended to find reserves of energy that carry me forward towards a resolution. I'm not saying it's been easy, just that its generally always happened; sitting in place isn't my style so I seek solutions to problems with the expectation that my efforts will be rewarded in kind. On occasions however, these scenarios have brought me down and I've spiralled downwards, found myself in dark places.
Over the years I've developed ways to address declining energy and the slide into the shadowy world of emotional fatigue, self-doubt, despondency and despair; all things that impede forward progress. Some of these mitigation-techniques are as simple as a brief detachment from the situation, a moment or event that completely removes me from it, and some are more involved. Other people also help. Either way though, I've come to understand that they are techniques necessary to my eventual success.
Last night I took a walk on the beach. I wasn't keen initially as the sky was overcast, it was not overly warm and a little too breezy. I went regardless figuring the fresh air and walk would do me good though. I was not wrong. As I walked the stresses seemed to lessen and my mood and overall attitude began to shift slightly.
As I walked, I thought about shadow and light and the correlation between the two. Light creates shadow, but also chases it away. When applying that to myself I see that finding a little light in dark moments is critically important to be best-placed to add some light. That light can take many different forms but can assist one to think the right thoughts helping to maintain or improve attitude which affects the actions we ultimately take. Understanding that light isn't a constant state of being, that positivity isn't always the dominant emotion, helps me deal better with the shadow...shadow that will eventually come. It's just part of life and failing to acknowledge it won't help mitigate or address it when the light fades and shadows fall.
I felt lighter, just by walking along with the sound and smell of the ocean as company. The internal shadows receded, the clouds within my mind began to clear and then...the sun started to beam its light...I mean in the sky. Yeah, the sky began to clear a little allowing the last rays of light to infuse the sky with colour. It was a nice moment and exacerbated my feeling of well-being and happiness I'd gained through walking.
I chose the Schweitzer quote above because over the years other people have also added their own light to my life and it's made a huge difference to me. The gratitude I have for them is the same I have for those moments I spend in nature gaining a small detachment; those moments I shine a little light within to chase away some of the shadows.
I guess it's like being in a dark room with an unlit candle. If someone comes along with their own lit candle and holds it to my unlit one the room becomes brighter, the shadows less invasive, due to the combined light of both. I get the same feeling from a hike in solitude, a beach walk and in many other ways and I'm grateful, as I also am when another person coaxes that tiny ember within me into flame.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The images are my own - Semaphore, South Australia January 2022
Beautiful post. Been a while :)
I've been going through similar seasons - but i've been doing a detox for the last 2 weeks (in week 3 now) and wow... it's really shifting my mind. Right before that detox I was falling into a very familiar, and unpleasant space. Of course the smile is still ever-present (because... jut because.) but inside starts to become very different.
I'm hoping this time around with the detox that I can actually take some of these things straight through the detox and bring it into "real" life, where it can stay and grow and continue to balance me.
So glad that you went out despite the weather. I've often fought with the weather too heeheh telling it that being outside WON'T help and i simply WONT go.
and then i go.
and then its so good. hehehe
Hope there is more of that for you!
Hugs :)
I've seen you're on a detoxification journiferation. Good for you and I hope it's working out.
I usually adhere strictly to a fasting diet. Here's how it works:
Don't eat in between meals which, usually take place three to five times a day. I also fast when I'm asleep.
You see, fasting in this way makes one not miss out on all the benefits of eating.
It's working out well.
If I had your build ...I would also use this technique.
However, I am slightly softer and squishier.
SLIGHTLY 🤣
I work hard to maintain the perfect balance between hard as granite and amazingly huggable. Being the world's best hugger is difficult sometimes, but I take it seriously; it's a fine balance and takes constant attention, effort and...Ah fuck it, that's a lie. It comes naturally. 😁
#worldsbesthugger
#graniteman
#granitehuggerman
#hugsbetterthankoalas
Best?!?!!
BEST!?!?!?!?
BEEEEEEEST??????????
I have listed this as my claim to Fame for 45 years. I'm going to need proof of this before I can acquiesce.
🤗👈☝️
I'm in the big leagues mate, not the minor league where standards are kept to a minimum. So yeah, best ever, in the world. It's pretty apparent and those who have experienced the glory will attest to...well...the glory.
Keep trying kid, you'll get there someday, when I'm dead and can no longer hold the title.
I still refuse to believe it.
Must experience it before acknowledging it. Lol
Oh wow..I thought my video posted like an hours ago...3speak.said.it did but.....nope lol
There were crazy shenanigans afoot today on their site when they uploaded old videos hahaha so I wonder if my post from tonight is now lost in the ether...sheesh.
Ok NOW I go to sleep! Lolol
Night C.H.
Sometimes it seems life as a whole should be simpler. Too much hurry, scurry all the time. Too much coming from every direction. Too loud. Along the way as I've aged, it seems I have needed more and more of that "self away" time to keep things feeling balanced.
It is good you recognize when you need a reset and then you go do it. Too many people know they need it but don't take it and then they burn out.
I'm glad your walk helped. It sounded peaceful and rejuvinating.
Society seems a huge rush these days and don't seem to have time for the most important things. Wasting ones time on Facebook drama, for instance, has a massive impact. People need to find a way to block it out for their own good, but the fear of missing out on something is a powerful thing I guess. I tend to know when I need a break, a gap or detachment and I needed it last night.
Thanks for commenting, I always find value in your remarks.
It does seem like our society in general now sees more (false) value in doing MORE,MORE,MORE instead of choosing to do less things and doing them well and enjoying them. Kind of sad. The time will pass too fast and I believe too many will one day be looking back wondering why they spent their valuable life's moments like that.
I know taking control over your life is a bit of an illusion, but it is worth the effort to try I think.
Yep, that's right, and when one is looking back at all that wasted time and opportunity...it's too late to go back.
Beach, sand, waves, walk - always does the trick in making you feel better. Nature in general. Sometimes I struggle with making myself go out too, even though I know the wonders it can do for me. It's good you manage to get yourself out even when feeling low. This too shall pass, always does hey. A very common phrase we use with my family : "How's it going?"
"Meh, yeh it's going, I suppose. Otherwise we'll just have to push it"
One must see, acknowledge and then confront one's difficulties to have the opportunity to evaluate, strategize and take action to move them forward...Even if pushing them forward means a walk on the beach, to find a little detachment and regroup prior to getting back to business. I think you know exactly what I mean. 😀
Yup, absolutely know what you mean ! ;) One step at a time
Recognizing it is half the battle. Most people are in denial about those things, whereas you embrace and address whats going on.
Have you always been like that and were you always able to pull yourself up from there? I use to believe I was weak until I realized how stupid that really was.
I hope you are feeling better. Sounds like the beach, salt, sand and a touch of peace was just what the viking ordered.
Hey! Galen! Waving from another time zone.
Recognising and accepting that it's there is mission-critical Swigs, I agree. Denying or ignoring a situation is never going to make it go away I guess. IT's like @beautifulwreck said in this post one must embrace chaos rather than shun it. The post explains it better.
I've always had the ability to lift myself. I think part of it is a characteristic and part acquired. I have been through many things and never broke and in dealing with each one I learned more which, of course, helped me deal with the next. I am a strong person, but also weak, or maybe vulnerable is a better word. Few will ever see that part of me of course. I'm feeling better although have a feeling that 2022 is going to be a rather difficult one...Yeah, another difficult one.
Waving back to you from the future! Lol.
I'm glad you are feeling better. Evening walks are the best. It is difficult to stay focused internally when something so much bigger than you is breathing on you with salty winds and showing off how incredibly firm yet flexible the sand beneath your feet is.
Exactly, that feeling of being small, a teeny weeny incy wincy little part of something so much bigger. It puts things into perspective. Also, all that bloody sand getting everywhere gives me problems larger than. Any the universe could conjure for me. 😉
Thanks for your comment Gin, always a pleasure.
Ha, come to think of it, you do strike me as the sort to be fiercely patting sand off of your shoes once you get to your vehicle. I mean that as a compliment - you are detail oriented and like things tidy. Maybe you were born on a Thursday, the kindergarten poem line goes: Thursday's child is tidy and neat. I am a Wednesday. Wednesday's child is ever so sweet. Very true ;) It fails to mention anything about tidy though. I never remember to knock the sand off my shoes.
A Tuesday actually, but you're dead right; I turn sand-patting into an art. I detest it in my vehicles or anywhere upon my person for that matter.
Wednesday and sweet you reckon? All good, but forgetting to pat the sand off? Let the beatings begin!
Well, Tuesday's child is full of grace. So I assume the beatings are graceful. I can see you ballerina leaping about with a fairy wand as a swatting stick. I'm not too scared;)
I'd make a good ballerina if ballerina's couldnt dance, were ugly AF and looked terrible in their costumes. If that's what they are, then I'm a ballerina. Twinkle toes, they call me.
Graceful though, I'm sure. I just googled it, and apparently you call a male ballerina, a ballerino. That should make you feel better about it all.
Wow... This is deeper and powerful than it looks. I got so much from this sir. Wow...
Bending is okay, breaking is not. I love this so much. It's okay to bend but breaking is optional depending on how we approach it. It most of the time, as I am guilty too, we react to situations rather than respond to it and that sets the tone for how things pan out. A speed bump was designed to stop us temporarily and not permanently, so it's okay to have some not so good moments because it makes us appreciate the good moments better. Maybe we meet some few bad people in life too so that when we meet the good ones we can learn to appreciate them.
This helped me a lot because I always want to always be at my best but it's okay if I won't always be, not for lack of effort but because life happens, I just have to make sure I don't break.
I've always been a huge fan of nature and nature heals and I am glad that nature came through for you, yet again, sir.
You say, always want to be at your best, but I think there's a better option.
I used to chase my best and seek perfection but it actually doesn't exist. A long time ago I learned that seeking continual improvement is far more productive and valuable than seeking perfection. It allows one the ability to see positive results through improvement rather than feel disappointed at not attaining perfection. A small change of mindset with massive potential gain.
Thanks for your comment.
Thank you so much for this, sir. Absolutely... Perfection doesn't exist as no man is perfect. Focus on improvement is key... It doesn't have to be perfect but should be an improvement from the last. I won't forget this in a hurry. 💘❣️❤️
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I'm so sorry that things have been so heavy lately. I know it's difficult to acknowledge it sometimes when you're in the thick of it, so being able to recognize when you need a break and some detachment is not only a valuable skill, it can sometimes be a life saver.
It's good to read you are able to get out to beautiful places and refresh your spirit. Even though you feel 2022 will be another difficult year, I sincerely hope that there are at least parts that add some balance and bring you some joy.
Go well Galen
I'm going to live it as best I can, shape it where possible and deal with the issues when/if they arise. There's not much else for it. I appreciate your message though, as always.