Donald Trump stole my idea. While he's been doing a really terrific job with it-- really great job-- this whole 'show everyone that the government is useless' spectacle was originally my idea.
In order to free the world from government a few years ago, I was going to run for President of the United States just so that I could show everyone how stupid they were for voting for me.
Upon my election, my presidency was going to use red and blue crayons to boldly illustrate the idiocy of my own voters and the absurdity of their entire political structure.
While effortlessly mocking the entire system of government, and using my same stubby crayons, I would have also demonstrated how easy it was for a character like me to divide people from their own friends and families.
Crayons of Freedom
Scribbling away on the sacred walls of their beloved faraway institutions like a petulant brat, I would have divided them from one another in their very own homes, using my broad bold sweeps and my mindless whirls of fancy, so that they would inevitably have begun to wonder why they ever voted for anyone, or why they had even expected me to do anything at all.
Once elected, I would have quickly proven how irresponsible they all had been by giving me their creative energy, and how foolish it was for voters to try to blame me for the crappy world that they'd made. With my sheer incompetence, my very painfully Presidential existence would have made it clear that they should never have delegated so much of their own power to me in the first place.
Dismantling the Government
At some point during my term as host of this ridiculous show, I would expect my haters to start saying "HEY, he's going to dismantle our whole government!" while my wise supporters and even some of my voters would start saying "HEY, he's going to dismantle our whole government!"
Most politicians enjoy their positions as the elected authorities and rulers over a civilization of voters. They would have all hated me when they saw what I was up to! 'YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!' The priests of statehood would've squawked, imploding magnificently as they caught on to my true agenda. I would be clumsily exposing their whole gig for what it was, and showing the world just how pointless our political jobs really were all along.
They would then do anything to shut me up.
Being an anarchist who sees the logic in 'no rulers, no slaves', I can definitely see the humor in the idea of me being elected President. I would have done it too, as long as we treated it like it was a TV reality show, with the premise being: I appear in front of the entire world and convince them that they are actually free, and that feeding all of their life force to me or any actor on a TV reality show is a waste of good prana, no matter where you're from or where on Earth you live.
In my inaugural address, I would brutally shame the voters who had put me there, telling them to their faces how disappointed I was that they had wasted so much of their time and energy fussing over my election and subsequent tasks as President. "You suckers will never see or hear from me again... you're on your own." I would taunt. And then I'd leave, and I'd leave that Presidential podium standing there in the spotlight surrounded by its flags and shiny fasces as a symbol of sheer and utter uselessness to humanity.
Yeah, I'd have done the collapse of centralized government a little differently than this current host is doing it, but I don't feed on all that constant attention like he does. He has fun with the job, and that's how it should be done I suppose.
As President, if you're going to make an international joke of the Presidency and all centralized governance, then it should at least be funny. If the job is to dismantle a hideous kakistocracy, and you can do it wearing a ridiculous clown suit, I'd say go for it.
As usual, a great message intertwined in an interesting and witty satirical story. Nice one
I'm always trying to think of new ways to say "don't vote, you'll just attract criminals!"
Yeah voting is a farce. You end up getting a choice between two bobble heads, neither of which you want running the country. But then there is also the case of convincing large groups of people not to vote in order to ensure that one specific party gets elected. If you can convince the younger generation that its a revolutionary idea to not vote, then you can basically maintain the status quo and stop any change from occurring in the country.
There are many ways to manipulate people. Even anarchy can be used as a tool of manipulation.
I used to think that if nobody showed up for the elections, then it would be obvious to everyone that the system is a farce. Reality slapped me when I realized that most people already don't vote, yet the media promotes the whole charade as if the big election is the most important thing going on for everyone. So already, the elections are unpopular in real life, but the media illusion still suggests that everyone is completely dependent on its outcome. So even if NOBODY showed up at the voting booths, we might not know it, and we'd just be fed more made-up numbers and charts like always, and most would never be the wiser. The manipulators of the group mind would probably use stock photos of crowds of voters if they needed visuals to sustain the sorcery. Hey... they probably already do that!
The mass manipulation is persistent indeed.
Even as a political atheist I have to admit I was completely tickled when Trump won, for pretty much all of the reasons you outlined. Plus his tweets, haha, can't help finding the ludicrous humor in it. And the debates to come between ludicrous pomposity and creepy senility will be priceless!
Those debates-- if they are even allowed to happen-- might be just enough to convince enough of the old system's enthusiasts to finally face the reality of their politics being total illusion. It would be a trip to see the truth actually win one of these so-called debates for once!
I am totally in the red camp when it comes to "what color paint should go on outbuildings and barns," but I am politically colorblind. It is difficult to see the appeal of partisan politics now that I have explored the philosophy behind anarchism, and I can reject the cartoon stereotypes of left and right alike even as I reject the stereotype of anarchism as chaos and destruction. But few bother. If the Trump vs. Biden 2020 election dopesn't demonstrate the absurdity of electoral politics to the masses, I don't know what will. Hillary vs. Trump couldn't, after all.
If the election is even allowed to happen, it should be a real exercise in absurdity, better than anything I could think of to demonstrate the silliness. Now, if only Vermin Supreme could be included in the show, we might really have something worth tuning in for! Might even get free ponies for everyone after it's all done.