How to Not Discover the Meaning of Life: Musings on Male vs. Female Brain and Very Large Butts

in #life5 years ago

I scrunched myself inward, recoiling like one of those neon colored scrunchies from the 1990’s that had been stretched too far. It doesn’t matter how many times a man does it, I always have that reaction.

I stood in the hallway in that public place, just killing time. Thirty minutes to wait and a constant trickle of people washing in and out of that little passageway I stood in. Nothing could be better for a bit of people watching. Scan Up and Down Man entered the hall, deciding to return the favor.

It seems to me that about fifty percent of men do a scan up and down as a five-second examination of a woman immediately upon seeing one. Mind you, I don’t really think it matters what the woman looks like, she only needs to be between the ages of say 18 and 50 to qualify. I think that it is largely an unconscious action and I don’t really fault them for it.

Instinct must drive it. On some ancient level that mammalian brain of approximately 50 percent of male society thinks to itself: That looks like fertile ground. I could drop some seeds here. Ooh, and look, there’s another fertile one. I could drop some seeds there. Ooh, and look…

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Anyway, I recoiled like the stretched out scrunchie internally, while externally I broke eye contact and turned my head. This reaction is also unconscious most of the time. I wonder if most women react in the same way. It is as though my ancient instincts say in response: Yes, yes, I’ve heard that before, but the only farmer doing any seed sowing here is going to be the one with the most bear skins. Or, maybe it should be the one with the most impressive spear made out of a mammoth tusk. I haven’t decided yet.

Whatever the reason, it does seem that the drive behind it fades quickly. Within another couple seconds the animalistic nature of it all is gone. I turned my head back without making direct eye contact; he made a polite nod, I returned the polite nod, and we thought nothing of it, like modern humans.

With him out of sight, I turned my attention to the next person. I figured I’d do a little make-believe dress-up—you know, sort of jump into someone else’s life. The next character was a teenager arguing with her mom. That wasn’t interesting—I already did that fifteen years ago. Next up was a lady dressed to the nines with a materialistic air to her. I decided I didn’t really want to jump into those clothes.

I shifted in the hallway, a bit frustrated by my lack of good material. Then a lady walked in with the largest butt I’d ever seen. It was fascinating. I gawked at her while she was facing the other direction. It wasn’t in an amorous way, or a repulsed way, it was just genuine fascination. I wonder what that butt looks like naked? I thought, and it was this thought that led to an epiphany.

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Typical me, I overthought the crap out of this. That quick scan up and down of women isn’t an instinct lingering from the ancient mammalian brain that seeks to grow our race by reproducing. Well, at least not directly. It is just a very visually stimulated male brain saying: I wonder what that one looks like naked. And that one. That one too—ooh yeah that’s a good one, and that one…

In response my brain then says: Keep that x-ray vision to yourself! And my body promptly recoils.

It was an interesting turn of events. I wondered if I ought to dub myself Scan Up and Down Woman, since clearly Scan Up and Down Man and I have some shared interests. I wondered a few things related to that lady’s butt. I had the feeling if I stood there long enough contemplating the male vs. female brain and very large butts I might discover the meaning of life.

But the thirty minutes was up, and people watching was done. I emptied my mind.

I ran into Scan Up and Down Man on the way out. We shared a polite nod again.

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Good thing we were not blessed with the ability to read minds. I wonder though if it would be a better world if we do🤔.

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I can't decide if it would be a happier world or an angrier world if we read minds. Maybe just a more intense world. The people that think the least would probably be the most popular, just based on the constant thought noise surrounding us :)

Lol! Then I'll be popular for not having thoughts at all 😜😜

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Cheeky story and fun to read. Well done! =)

Thanks for reading :)

So...Last week I was in cafe I attend almost daily and for the second time in a week a woman (same woman) walked in, caught my eye and smiled. I smiled back like I did the first time. I'm polite, and she was rather attractive.

She went inside, ordered a coffee then promptly came back to the alfresco area and straight up to me. I'm like, "WTF!" I looked up from my computer, was writing a post for steem, and she said hi and various accompanying words to strike up a conversation.

This doesn't happen to me much and so I was frozen like a deer in the headlights. Anyway, I regained my composure and we started talking...With her appraising me the whole time...and preening I noticed, hair stroking, tucking behind ear etc.

Anyway, we parted ways after a chat, and her leaving her business card...And me thinking "what just happened".

So...being appraised like you were, up and down, happens in reverse, maybe just not as obviously. More finesse is applied sometimes. I get that it's repulsive for women mostly, and I have to say I felt quite, umm...Well, hunted I guess myself.

We're all human and subject to habits and ingrained behaviour. Sure, most men are a little unsubtle but that's another ingrained trait perhaps? I'd certainly not want to make someone feel uncomfortable with a glance like that and based on my recent event I can understand how one could feel that way. It's a tough one as humans are programmed to reproduce and so the two sexes,men and women, play out a game to make that possible. I guess that up and down is a part of the mating behaviour. I'm sure there's studies on it.

I don't have much to say about the big butt thing...Only that Kim Kardashian has much to answer for.

Hope you're well Ginny! Been a while. 👀😶

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I think for most women, myself included, the up and down look isn't bothersome if done in that sort of unconscious way that doesn't linger. It, and my reaction to it, is more just an interesting human behavior to me. There have been times where I've had that feeling of being hunted too though, but always from somewhat threatening behavior.

Ha, what an interesting example of aggressive female behavior - the preening in front of you and so on. So many people write in cafes, and often fiction. I could see that experience inspiring some interesting changes in plot if that had been fiction you had been writing. Did you go home and tell your wife about it so that she could be reminded what a stud she has? :)

I'm sure there are studies on this stuff. I need to go looking for them. I'm sure they would be an interesting read.

This butt was right up there with Kim Kardashian. It was fascinating.

Yeah, been busy. The school year started, and my calendar is slammed. I'm still around though.

Haha, nah didn't say anything to Faith. Nothing really to gain by doing so. Besides, stud isn't a very apt descriptor for yours truly. I'm many things, mostly good, but not that.

I may write a little fiction on my cafe-encounter sometime. Took me by surprise to be honest but I could embellish a little, add a hint of more to come, a tryst maybe...Who knows, it might happen.

What won't happen is me getting into those big ole hippopotamus asses that seem to be all the rage. People actually getting implants to augment them I'm told. Seriously, WTF. I'm not much of a fan of all that plastic surgery stuff. Wear some make up, enhance what you have and leave it at that. I don't even like fake tan on a woman, let alone trout lips and floatation-device boobs. Many like it though I guess.

So, busy hey? Get stuff done then do some curating. More rewards for that soon. I'm still going to be a content creator though. It's what I know.

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Oh man, the plastic surgery. The butt-plants aren't common in these parts yet, but a large chunk of women you see on the beach have had breast implants. (Big butt lady was up there with Kim Kardashian, but I'm pretty sure it was natural.) There is so much information out there that those things can cause serious health problems, and the simple fact that you have your breasts sliced open to do that, all in the name of vanity? It blows my mind. It is also a fact that all the women I have ever spoken to that had them were simple minded and very superficial. I now see them as a symbol of the shallow. Agreed, walk around in your own skin and pump it up with makeup occasionally, but not with permanent plastic.

I came here to write, and happened to meet a handful of people I am fond of - including you - which keep me here. I will be dropping some votes and writing here a few times a week, as usual.

I'm glad we ran into each other. Nice that you'll hang around. 😉

That typo really connects the previous comment with this one. I like it ;)

Oops...Typed without my reading glasses on...Corrected. 😊

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Beware the x-ray eyes! Your own as well as others! :0D

I might need to start wearing dark sunglasses to dull the view until I learn how to properly control these x-rays :)


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Haha, what a fertile imagination ginnyannette. I could easily go into a scan up and down contemplation now, must try it.

Give it a go - the meaning of life is just sitting out there, waiting ;)

Interesting story, the feminine and masculine mind are practically the same, only small evolutionary difference that this society opaque or disappears, I know because I read a lot of neuroscience, you would be surprised by the new discovery in that area.

I believe it, I think I experienced it first hand yesterday :) This was not meant to be a scientific article, but thanks for stopping by.

Ever try mirrored sunglasses???? lol..., personally I think they are creepy on men I would never...but cool when women wear them....

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Hmmm...tempting. Lol. Actually I rarely wear sunglasses, because I hate it when other people do - it spoils all the fun. How am I supposed to try and read your mind when I can't even see your eyes fully. Very frustrating :)

Butts... always making humans stop to contemplate life. They are always the center of the attention no matter the gender.

My children are at the stage where they thinks butts are hilarious. If I don't make them reign it in all day long there would just be a constant stream of talk with the word butt in it. So yes, agreed, fascination with butts is society-wide, and it starts young :)

I haven't been scanned in a long time, so I can't really relate anymore, except that I do remember it un-fondly. I can relate to the gawking at big butts, though. There are a lot of them around here, and all natural! I no longer spend too much time trying to decipher the differences between men's minds and women's. I just get annoyed...

The diverse shapes and sizes of humans are almost as interesting as the personalities. I catch myself spending a lot of time lumping people into personality categories, regardless of gender. It is excellent brain exercise :)

Hello @ginnyannette, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

lol! what were you doing there ginnyannette? No one can write a hilarious post about doing nothing but thinking like you can! lol. Do women do the same thing, scan up and down?

Hey what about the storm, you guys are in North Central FL aren't you, fairly close to the coast? What are you doing to prepare?

Women definitely do the scan, but overall I think we are a bit sneakier about it.

Mostly just waiting. We are on the coast. I'm preparing food and the fridge and freezer for no power. Cleaned the whole house because when I don't have water I won't be able to do much. Tomorrow is pick up everything out of the yard day. And...this thing just might go out to sea so that I am left with a very clean house and yard. I doubt it though. Even if it scrapes by us at only a category 2, I will probably go inland. I don't like how they never know...hurricane Michael last year was supposed to impact as a category 4 and impacted as a 5. Nobody wants to ride out a 5. I might sign up for a 2, but I'm not signing up for a 3 or above willingly.

Go inland where? How do you prepare the fridge and freezer for no power? You guys have to stock up on lots of water right? Unless you're just planning on leaving.

It is currently going to skip us (we think)! So I may just have a clean house and not have to cook for a few days!

Oh, thank God! I get the clean house but why wouldn't you have to cook for a few days?

I got a few meals ready in the freezer (we have a generator). I have plenty of non perishable food too. Nothing is certain yet though. These peojections are notoriously inaccurate. So I guess I will still cook tonight and hang onto my hurricane food :)

Oh ok. smart move!

I love that sand photo with all the foot prints !

We simply can't help what we wonder..... can we? I guess it's a good thing we can't read each other's minds huh?

:)

I am so glad I cannot read minds :) Lots of footprints always catch my eye. Who was the person with that type of tread on their shoe? Etc.