what do you really want? update

Click to reveal image

I've been asking people this question lately:
"What do you want?"

Sometimes I let them read a post I wrote about this topic, or just ask them directly. It's a simple question, but it opens up a lot. Here's what I’ve been learning.

I asked my mom, and she said she wanted a mansion where all her kids could live together, with cars, computers—everything we ever wanted. I understood where she was coming from. We're slowly moving out and growing up, and she's very emotionally dependent on having us around.

After she listened to my post through text-to-speech, she changed her answer.
She said what would really make her happy is having time with all her kids, and seeing us happy and successful.

My dad is different. He never answers questions directly. At first, I felt like he was avoiding it—but I realized he’s been answering this question his whole life, just in his own way. Recently he’s gotten more direct, though still through long talks and examples.

One thing he said that really stuck with me was:

“I want to see my kids surpass me. If I made a million dollars, I want you to make ten. Not just in money, but in the value of what you build.”

He wants us to create something bigger—our own empires.

My oldest brother said he wants to have kids someday and reflect onto them that his childhood wasn’t his fault. It was just the circumstances at the time. That hit hard.

My younger brother said he wants to excel at something he loves. He goes through phases—boxing, rally racing, programming, guitar—and he wants to actually succeed at something he’s passionate about. He also said he hopes our mom lives a good rest of her life and that, when she passes, it’s painless.

That was deep. I never realized he thought about that kind of thing.

My little sister is only 10. At first, she said she wanted a microphone to play Roblox. Then she said she wanted modeling clay. Finally, she said she wished the adults in her life could have their own wishes—our mom, her dad (who’s different from mine), our uncles. And she wished she could meet her grandparents, since she never did.

I thought that was really interesting. I think she wants the adults to have the power of wishes, maybe because she’s still at an age where adults manage everything. That was really cute.

I asked a close family friend, and he said he wanted to win the lottery. When I asked why, he said he’d buy a house on the beach, get new clothes, travel, maybe open a sandwich shop—because the mind needs something to do.

“If you’ve got nothing to do, your mind goes crazy.”

I liked that. It felt like it came from experience—like he’s been in that place where your thoughts just bounce off the walls.

Here’s the thing:
I hate interacting with people.
It stresses me out. But I’m starting to open up after many years, especially with family, and I’m learning so much about them.

There are so many kinds of people out there. And yeah, there’s always that fear of being laughed at or rejected. But I think that’s going to be my next goal—to interact with new people and understand them. Not to label them with one word, but to create my own kind of categories. Like personal “types” based on patterns I notice—maybe a mix of percentages between them.

I also want to start treating life more like a video game.
Not in the literal sense, but in the way you collect experience. And yeah, maybe even money—not paper money, like my dad says, but things of real value. Experience, connections, perspective.

I’m still going to keep asking this question—“What do you want?”
Because I still feel like I’m chasing something. An essence. An idea.
And I know I’m going to find it—one way or another.

I just don’t think there’s a shortcut to getting there.