Original Photo was taken by me.
If you had asked me a year ago if I would ever go over 3 months without posting on Hive, I would have called you crazy. Little did I know...
I am finally back home. Mom is doing well on her slow road to one hundred percent recovery. On the other hand, I came home, and my body shut down. I became numb to feeling anything or caring about anything. I spent the first week sleeping ten to twelve hours a day with a few naps.
While awake, I did four months of updates to my computer and every program I had on it. Once done updating, the computer issues I had been having before I left showed their face again. I added that to my list of things to look into.
While down in Florida, I tried to do some art. I wasn't successful due to stress, exhaustion, and no comfortable place to have quiet. It was bothering me to not keep up my drawing practice. It really upset me to finally get home and be numb emotionally.
I decided to bully my numbness away.
Two years ago, this coming August, I signed up for SkillShare. Skillshare is an online learning website. You can take classes on just about anything. On the nights I couldn't sleep, I would turn on a Skillshare course and fall asleep while watching it.
Before I left to take care of Mom, I had purchased some acrylic paints. I had wanted to test out painting with them. For the last three nights, I went on SkillShare. I watched an excellent class called How to Create Contemporary Acrylic Paintings.
The canvas is primed and my contemporary designs mapped out.
I picked the subject of contemporary art because it looked more straightforward than anything else I could find. I needed to motivate myself but not overwhelm my already overwhelmed body and mind.
It took a lot of poking to get me to finally start the painting. Once started, time flew by. I made mistakes, let the paint dry, covered over what I did not like, and kept painting until I had something I wanted.
It's a start
I did not paint a masterpiece, but I did paint. While I would not call the painting contemporary, I will always treasure this painting. I felt alive while painting. A feeling I had not felt in a very, very, long time.
Final Art
I can also cross out, Make a POST! from my list of things to do!!
Help someone smile today. It can not hurt you.
Snook
All photos are mine unless otherwise stated.
It's a lovely painting regardless. I would say I understand the numb feeling, I occasionally have them, usually because I want to shut the world off, you see, at some point I come to the realization that crawling into that shell won't change the fact that I still exist in this universe.
It's a good thing you enjoyed the process, I love it tho, it's lovely.
Thank You!!
You really made my day!!
and yeah...I do that too but this time I wasn't expecting it so really threw me for a loop...
You need to keep painting, you never know who you'd inspire.
It's a pleasure.
Thank You!!
We all know life gets in the way sometimes and it is good to see you are back, and wishing your mom all the best.
Nice one on the art indeed!
Thank YOU!!!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!
Sure in this day and age if you painted a masterpiece. You would get charged for being sexist and giving the painting a male title with master in it,, lmao.
Only You!! LOLLLL
I find the hardest thing in anything is the Start! Now you are well on your way, great artwork by the way:)
Popped in today via dreemport.
Thank you for you very kind words :D
You made me smile!! and yes, the start is always the hardest part.
woohoo it is always great to smile, so you are most welcome😁
You have started so now it will be fun and plain sailing!
Beautiful painting! Glad you are back in the groove!
Thank You!!
:D
That’s an awesome painting. I tried painting a few years ago and it was horrible. It’s like my brain and hands don’t work together to get what I am seeing in my head onto the canvas.
Awwe! THANK YOU!! That means a lot coming from you
HUGS!
YOU are a masterpiece. And doing something for the sake of joy is at least as valuable as doing something you excel at. I love that you painted the numbness away. Sending you big hugs!
I will take all the hugs I can get :D
and yeah, I was FINALLY home and was missing Joy and LAughter so much... A week of numbness was More than enough time to recover. So it was high time to do something about it :D
HUGE HUGS!
Welcome back! So great to read that you bullied your numbness away, especially with making art.
I know exactly how you feel when you say you get lost in the process of painting - it's exactly what happens to me. Unfortunately, all too rarely lately, as I have been feeling also a sort of numbness, lack of motivation to create or blog that stems from my work stress. It's a work in progress I guess.
Skillshare - I signed up for it years ago when they were actually still looking for 'teachers' and reached out to me. I even started outlining a class but then stopped. But I haven't stopped my subscription to Skillshare and am using it on and off.
I hope you continue to paint and enjoy its process!
What class are you going to be teaching? Cuz YOU SHOULD!!
And yes, stress does not help me create anything. I found out a lot about myself in the last 4 months that someday I will write about...when it is not so fresh? in my life.
we all have our safe places where we can relax and let go enough to do creative things. WE need that, I at least do, and I was getting angry that once home I could not find my happy place again.
I do not think it is a lack of motivation but knowing you do not have time to slowly create. To enjoy the whole process and the joys that all come with it as you go. 15 minutes here and there, for me, is not enough time to enjoy creating anything....
Then the question is do you spend forever holding off or do you bully your way into doing anything creative?
we all have to find our own answers to that question. I think it changes throughout our lives.
HUGS!
This comment has now been open on a tab for four days - sigh - I, too, need to find a way to make things balance better again. I am way too occupied with work - and I don't like it!
Being that occupied with it, not the work - that I like :)
In painting I've actually done it, this paint/draw/whatever for 10 minutes a day. And that was actually fun to do. But these days I do prefer the longer sessions as you say.
I don't know - it's a work in progress...
HAAAAAAAAAAA!
I have a painting I want to do and should have started over an hour ago and haven't cuz.... time...
so I get it. I really do.
Go paint!
NOW!
I totally know that feeling.
You're just readjusting. healing. decompressing!
it needs to happen and i'm glad that you're sleeping. you needed it desperately!!!
that painting is so incredible - I loved how you built on top of it!!!! the little waterfall is so great!!!! i feel like i can hear it gurgling hehehehehe i jsut want to go take a big slurp of the water hahahahahahaha
its really beautiful Snook. so so beautiful. I'm so glad that you're painting. I know its a special time for you but i also know that sometimes you have to push yourself to do it! hahahaha that's how i am with writing. to get there - sometimes its like the LAST thing you want to do
but when you start - it takes over. such a good space!!! hhehehe
and i'm DEFINITELY putting this into DreemPort! hahahaha
you will get some dreemer visits on Monday then hehehehe
I hope they give you lots and lots of love! hahahahaha
I love you!!!!!!!!! take your time - but do keep trying to write and paint and share with us! we've missed you! hehehehe
Thank you Dreem <3
and yes, the hardest part is letting yourself start.
and I am trying. I think the first one was the hardest but I do not want to jinx it so I never said that :D
and I will happily welcome all the Dreemers here :D
LOVE YOU!!
I like that thing you did.
Welcome back from a Noob. I think I'm going to like you being back as well :)
It sounds like a hectic journey. I hope you find some rest and peace again for the next while. Take it easy <3
Thank You!! It makes me smile so one can not ask for more than that in life.
I hope you do. I think I am going to have fun following your new journey on Hive!! You beat me to the punch. I was trying to get house stuff done so I could leave you a nice welcome.
and I am trying to give myself the slack I deserve but we are our own worst critics....or something like that :D
Thank YOU so much for finding me and leaving such a wonderful comment!
:)
I kinda resonated with your story immediately. I think we may have some things in common.
No pressure from me. Ever. Please. As you come and go.
I had my own worst critic in my head for years. I told it to f*ck off after I realised it wasn't even my voice or lack of self love to carry ;)
Don't let other people's nonsense live in your head would be my suggestion. Tell 'em to f*ck off or say please if you think that's too rude!
It's very liberating!
Take care of you and see you when you're ready to share some more.
Take it easy on yourself please. Sounds like you need some rest. The internet isn't going anywhere :D
Ahh, but you see Hive IS part of my self-Love routine. It is the part of me that is free to be just who I am and have always been. It is the first place I was understood by many just as I am. Life doesn't get any better than finding a place like that.
The people here, some still here and many not, helped me find the courage to learn to write my stories and follow me in learning to make art to go along with those same stories.
You found a special place when you came across Hive but I think you already found that out. :D THAT makes me happy for many reasons.
Hive IS family to me in more ways than one. The GOOD part about belonging to a family.
And yes, they checked on me over the last 4 months to make sure I was alive and breathing. I worried many while gone but sometimes you have to do and follow what you believe in and not just preach empty words.
I am slowly getting back to living for myself as I wrote about in today's post a few hours ago....
I learned long ago to not worry about what others think as long as I am happy when I look in the mirror each day.
BUT I will promise not to overdue.... I also have a bad habit of not doing what I am told :D so we will see how it goes. LOLL
I am more awake at my night. and going to read your blog is now on my list.
I Like you already :)
Yeah - I'm really happy, smiling and hopeful in the first time in three years or more... finding HIVE, the community and the possibilities here.
It's pretty awesome. What they're doing.
Nice to have you back again! Glad you got back to painting,and that is therapeutic for you.
it feels great to be here :D
How are you doing this Summer? Still as busy as a 20 year old just out of Colledge?
Almost, but not quite. Ha ha! I have posted about life now and then, so if you have time you could take a peep at my last 4 or 5 posts and see what's been happening. Lots of grandbaby time, too.
gotta love it when you kill two birds with one stone ... so to speak ... paint and then use painting to write post
That was in the Grand plan :D but first I had to want to paint... that took 3 days...
I was hoping it was just a matter of... Start at number one and see what happens...kind of a thing
Today's post was MUCH easier to write so I am grateful for that :D
Back to one foot at a time. I have the book you suggested to me to read also ...Craftsman creative.. I wanted to ship it to Moms when I ordered it but I had clicked the wrong button.. so I have that to do too...
Oh and my alarm went off but I was upstairs passed out and never heard it on Thursday...
Good news is this week has a Thursday in it too so I can try again.
This week does indeed have a Thursday and who knows by then you might be writing posts and painting images with gay abandon... okay I know... let's not expect the world. But, you can dream eh.