TL:DR version: My contract will end this December and there are no plans for renewing it. Not that I'm even motivated to bother even when asked. It's close to a mutual decision with management since I'm in limbo about quitting versus just letting them decide about not letting me move forward to the next level. Now the below paragraphs are just snippets of thoughts I compiled while drafting this blog.
Notes: I'm shitposting personal stuff without the motivation to entertain. I go back to my old posts after a few months, reflect what's up with life and figure out where I'm going with it. Facebook blocked my access to some files/notes in the past and my hard drive could get corrupted/lost. There are moments when I cringe about what I previously wrote but that's my source of entertainment and this post adds to the list. Hopefully I'll see this again after 10 years and have the same impact as facebook giving me random memory throwbacks I wish never happened.
It's not a secret I have a love and hate relationship with my job. On one hand, it pays the bills but it drains the soul out of my creativity. It narrows down my options on what I can do because I'm sticking with one task. As a form of revenge, I spent the spare time learning other interests as revenge to cope with the gnawing what ifs. This includes day trading, doing art, and learning skill sets that don't make me have to rely on just being a physician. But you can't have it all, so one has to suffer in trying to find a work balance.
I reflect on the situation and came to the conclusion that there's really a lack of people that can relate to where I'm at even amongst my circle of friends. How could I win and still feel like I lost at life kind of feeling. It's a stupid decision to give up a well paying job for uncertainty and I know there are a lot that would envy what I had. I get this part but it's not like I'm living their perspective. But I'm dragging my feet to work daily when I can just do the shit I like and still be financially well off, not rich but not struggling. I'd get silent nods but never encouragement about making the decision.
Regardless of whatever reasons I have, the outcome is in the eyes of colleagues that view the situation, I ended up being a weak shit for not passing the program and this failure will mark me on my career. You can think of the statement as an over exaggeration or what it really is, it really depends on who you're talking to because it's a small world and even smaller in the medical community social circles. But I couldn't care about it, I just wanted to be happy and maybe not working at a hospital would probably do.
I know I'll disappoint some folks banking on my future or lose friends because I don't fit into their socioeconomic status (they probably weren't my friends from the start). I'm now a nobody and surprisingly it's not that harming to my own point of view.
The recent notice about Binance getting blocked from the Philippines was something that screwed my plans for next year. Not bragging but I think I'll be contented with trading my needs on crypto on bullish or bear markets. I'll find a part-time job or something while figuring out what I want to do in the future. As for funds, I got some reserves ready and live a frugal lifestyle (dressing up uncool and repel dates).
I'm just going to be spending the next year exploring what I want to do to move forward. I may just sign up again for another residency training or be content as a general practitioner on some far flung areas in the community, who knows?
So the last case I had a patient sent me a message asking if they were already stage III on their cancer and I simply said that's what our findings indicate and nothing more. It's not really in our specific field to explain everything, prognosis, treatment and going forward because that's going to be their main doctor's task. But people aren't dumb, they can google what the report terms mean and draw on conclusions for themselves.
I know the receiving end of that message is someone who's already upset because their optimistic tone went 360 right after. There's nothing I could do and have fully removed it from my mind to bother further. I've seen this happen and lost count. I can empathize but nothing more. I guess I should be glad I don't need to deal with this stuff anytime soon.
A few days later, they contacted me because of some paper work in order to avail discounts for some expensive tests. They knew I did them a favor and wasn't really blaming me for the inconvenience. TL:DR they underwent the bureaucracy of the health care system for hours only to get blocked to resolve the issue, it would take them a few more days to comply which was detrimental considering they need those tests ASAP for their cancer treatment. I played out these scenarios coming up with the solutions in my head only to get annoyed and just say fuck it, I'll pay for these tests so that they don't have to wait for more days.
The prognosis was already bad. That was probably the last time I'll get to meet them in person. Meh, this is my last case so maybe some poetic drama of altruism would suit the mood. They cried as I handed them the envelope processing the least expected scenario to unfold. I'm not sharing this story to flex about benevolence and shit to make me look good, on the contrary, I did a dick move after when they were about to express gratitude and cry I abruptly and sternly said, Maam please don't cry on me, just take the money and get those tests done so you don't have to wait for a few more days. The meeting ended with them at least feeling relief and me a few hundred dollars less.
I felt a kick satisfaction that it's finally done and there's nothing left to do. But this feeling was fleeting and the inner pessimistic realist side kicks in, like my old cases with morbid outcomes, I know there's no happening there. I didn't change anything and that was enough to end the dopamine kick of doing something meaningful.
I'm a window sitter. Show up to work and get paid without doing anything. Well it's not a literal doing nothing, I just find some small things to do but nobody hands out important tasks on me since there was no point considering important tasks were part of the requirements to continue and I'm just competing for those tasks. It's a surreal experience because you show up getting paid without doing anything compared to a lifestyle of three years showing up to work trying to survive everything. But this level of effort I'm doing is exactly the bare minimum government employees on key positions are doing, especially the executive jobs (my rant maybe some other time).
I have vague plans for next year seeing how preparations to leave the lifestyle aren't going as planned. I had optimism weeks back after the decision was made but the past for days gives me an idea that 2024 will be rough.
If you made it this far reading, thank you for your time.
I believe one of the lines there must be “rich and not struggling”. Hehe. Surely your decision may draw criticism from other people, but it does not mean you are weak. I may not know you in person but my first impression about you is so smart and resilient. Blessings to you and your decisions. More success in trading!
By the way, I have tried to Copy trading and Bot trading, MT4 and MT5 back then through a friend’s referral. OK yung profits but later on, nagging aggressive yung Trader, Kaya nasunog din. Hehe. Many friends din, stopped their decent jobs, for trading in. Ganda ng buhay nila and good at risk management.
I just fake stuff till I make it and thank you. I never looked into copy trading because it's an area of possible regret I don't want to be in if the one I'm copying lost. Would rather lose it all on my own call but it's fun trading on your own accountability. I doubt I'll be trading considering Binance will be out but who knows, not sure? might as well just so something else by then.
I was about to say, even if you become unemployed, you'll earn well in trading hehe.. But you stated it there... I guess there are other platforms aside from Binance where you can trade...
And you are a good writer, you can be a freelancer too. .just work from home.
however, it'll be a waste to throw your profession that pays your bills and make ends meet... Aren't you planning to open a clinic of your own? Your savings might be good to open one. What do you handle as a physician, btw?
I don't have a specialty since I'm no longer in training. I can just be a general practitioner and be that doctor's to the barrios and stuff but not really looking forward to anything medical related if I can avoid it for next year. Side gigs nalang siguro and if wala, may emergency funds ready for months para lang maging couch potato.
If Binance is not allowed in Philippines next year, what is the hope of people from that country?
How do they trade Hive and other cryptocurrencies?
There's DEXs as an option but only few people are crypto literate enough to get used to it. I'm imagining some choke points where peole abandon crypto or find escrow services lowkey to get by.
Man, it's always rough to deal with a life-work crisis and you seem to have reached your point of exhaustion with the system. Staying there any longer wouldn't be any good. Yeah, the finances were coming, but it comes with a high level of redundancy and I don't imagine you want to be in that situation any longer than you've already had to deal with it.
Sacrificing your finances for the family that was getting dragged around by bureaucracy. Courageous thing to do. You saved them the drama and got some feeling of satisfaction from that act. That's a class act, mate.
It's a rough time for you. I don't know how easy it would be to depend on Crypto if you were in the Philippines. I just wish you the best.
Not dependent on crypto but it's a nice stream of income. Since Binance will get banned soon, the other option is to venture into other registered crypto exchanges here, the problem is the lack of selection for tokens and liquidity which makes it less profitable from fees. It's a surreal experience trying to pretend doing something and get paid, maybe it's someone else dream job but not mine, I'm just waiting for my contract to end this December. Thanks for the thoughts!
Hmmmmm.....
I guessed it would be kinda hard for someone to encourage you just by taking your word that you'll be financially alright especially to people who aren't as in-depth in cryptocurrency and trading as you.
The road of financially average is a pretty slim one to be in and no matter who you may tell about your condition, all they'll pretty much here is that he's jobless😂.
Despite that, if the job isn't flowing nice with you, no need hogging up the position now is there?
Plus that's why most of us are into this hive and crypto buzz, to have enough money holding and growing passively so we won't have to work much more...
We're here to lazy earn 😂
I don't think I have any qualifications to advice you or anything, and I'm pretty sure you've thought hard and well about it.
I'll only wish you luck mate, surely we'll still read or if you or I go into video posting on here see each other around.
Thanks for the thoughts bruh, yeah I wasn't really looking for advice even when I was trying to figure things out, I'm still trying. I don't have any definite answer on what I'll be doing, I just know that financial wise, I'm fine being unemployed for months. Even when I'm unemployed, there's job security since there are a lot of vacant slots for physicians here and there.
If you can survive without struggling then go for it :D
Its not worth it, if you just drag your feet to work anyways.
I have also been thinking about getting to a financial position where I could just get a part-time job, be happy and have enough to survive while investments grew passively in the background.
That would be neat :D
I lived a cheapskate lifestyle so nothing changes in terms of wants but the income generation part is going to hurt with the optional expenses. Asian family thing where even if I'm living separately, I'm still expected to pitch in financial help when called, and it rings often.
Good luck on your journey. My game plan is just discovering what I want to do moving forward and do side gigs that may or may not work.
I think its nice to live a low-cost life :D
I do that myself beside when it comes to food, but I can always cut down on that if needed!
Sounds like it sucks to being able to be called on for financial assistance, but I don't know since I don't live in your culture :D Guess its good if you need help with money down the line.
Would Hive give you some financial relief?
I hope you find something you enjoy and can make it work, its so much more worth it :D
My journey is a few years down the road, so no biggy. Gotta stack that investment first to something meaningful xD
I am damn sure that 2024 will certainly be smooth and worth it certainly. Even though right now, nobody knows what 2024 holds for the Crypto space but we are all optimistic
even though it's hard when you lose a job from what i understand you don't care that much. Hopefully- with a part-time job, your savings and some trading not only i believe that you will be ok in 2024 but you will probably can better focus on things that you like and enjoy to do so! Who knows you might start something new entirely!
This is one of the bravest decisions I have ever seen and brave decisions like this come with great achievement. I'm glad you were able to end your exjob on a good note so you could start afresh next year. I hope you find your dream job and a successful plan. Good luck 🤞
#hive #posh
There's no point doing this on X besides wasting time and spamming feeds~