To get started, please take to the heart the following ten suggestions.
1. Guard your self talk
Whether you know it or not, you have a running conversation with yourself all the time. What is the nature of yours? Do you encourage yourself? Or do you criticize yourself? If you are positive, then you help to create a positive self image. If you're negative, critical self talk come from? Usually from our upbringing.
By the time you're seventeen years old, you've heard "No, you can't," an average of 150,000 times. you've heard "Yes, you can," about 5,000 times. That's thirty nos for every yes. That makes for a powerful belief of "I can't."
If we want to change our lives, we have to change the way we think of ourselves. If we want to change the way we think of ourselves, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. And the older we are, the more responsible we are for how we think, talk, and believe. Don't you have enough problem in life already? Why add to them by discouraging yourself every day with negative self talk?
You need to learn to become your own encourager, your own cheerleader. Every time you do a good job, don't just let it pass; give yourself a compliment. Every time you choose discipline over indulgence, don't tell yourself that you should have anyway; recognize how much your are helping yourself. Every time you make a mistake, don't bring up everything that's wrong with yourself; tell yourself that you're paying the price for growth and that you will learn to do better next time. Every positive thing you can say to yourself will help.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
What happen when you compare yourself to others? Usually it's one of two things: either you perceive the other to be far ahead of you and feel discourage, or you perceive yourself to be better than the other person, and you become proud. Neither of those is good for you, and neither will help you to grow.
Comparing yourself to others is really just a needle distraction. The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow. Do that enough, and if you look back and compare the you of weeks, months, or year ago to the you of today, you should be greatly encouraged by your progress.
3. Move beyond your limiting beliefs
Unfortunately, that's the way a lot of people think about themselves. They don't believe that they can accomplish great things. But the greatest limitations people experience on their lives are usually the ones they impose upon themselves.
- "When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do".-----Charles schwab.
4. Add value to others
Because people with low self-esteem often see themselves as inadequate or feel victims(which often start because they actually have been victimized I. their past), they focus inordinately on themselves. They can become self protective and selfish because they feel that they have to be to survive.
If that is true of you, then you can combat those feelings by serving others and working to add value to them. Making a difference even a small one in the lives of other people lifts one's self-esteem. It's hard to feel bad about yourself when you're doing something good for someone else. In addition to that, adding g value to others make them value you more. It creates a cycle of positive feelings from one person to another.
5. Do the right thing, Even if it's the hard thing
One of the best way to build self-esteem is to do what's right. it gives a strong sense of satisfaction. And what happen whenever you don't do the right thing? Either you feel guilt, which makes you feel had about yourself, or you lie yo yourself to try to convince yourself that your actions weren't wrong or weren't that important. That does harm to you as a person and to your self-esteem.
Being true to yourself and your value is a tremendous self esteem builder. Every time you take action that builds your character, you become stronger as a person--the harder the task, the greater the character builder. You can actually "act yourself" into feeling good about yourself, because positive character expand into every area of your life, giving you confidence and positive feelings about everything you do.
6. Practice small discipline daily in a specific area of your life
If there's an area in your life that seems overwhelming to you-health, work, family, or something else-try chipping away at it a little bit every day instead of trying to tackle it all at once. Since your self worth is based upon the positive habits, action, and decisions you practice every day, why not build your self-esteem and tackle your biggest problems at the same time? Don't fret or worry about it; do something specific about it. Discipline is a morale builder. Boost yours by taking small steps that will take you in a positive direction.
7.Celebrate small victories
This next suggestion is really a follow-up to the previous ones. When you do the right thing or take a small step in the right direction, what is your emotional response? What kinds of things do you tell yourself? Are your thoughts like this?
- Well, it's about time.
I didn't do as much as I should have.
That won't make a difference.
It's hopeless-I'll never succeed.
Or are they more like these?
- It's good that I did that.
I did the right thing-good for me!
Every little bit helps.
I'm that much closer to success.
If your thinking runs more like the first list, then you need to change your thinking.
I have to admit, I have no trouble celebrating small victories. Then again, I have no trouble celebrating big victories either. I just love celebrating. You should too. Talking a brake to celebrate is good for you. If nothing is ever good enough, you can lose heart. Celebrating encourages you. It helps inspire you to keep going. Don't underestimate its power.
8.Embrace a positive vision for your life based on what you value
If you have a positive vision for your life and you take action to fulfil that vision, then you will more readily recognized that your life matters.
What do you value? What prompts you to see a positive vision for your life? If you don't have a vision, you are likely to be apathetic. However, if you tap into what you value and try to see what could be, it can inspire you to take positive action. And every positive action you take helps you to believe in yourself, which in turn helps you to take more positive action.
9.Practice the one word strategy
Why picking of one word? Because it tells you a lot about how you think about yourself. Try it. If you could pick one word to describe yourself, what would it be? I hope it positive! If it is, it will help you go in the right direction. If it's not then you need to change your word.
10.Take responsibility for your life
We tend to get in life what we are willing to tolerate. If we allow others to disrespect us, we get disrespected. If we tolerate abuse, we get abused. If we think it's okay to be overworked and underpaid, guess what will happen? If we don't have a plan and purpose for our lives, we will become part of someone else's!
If you've had difficult time and you don't feel good about yourself, I want to tell you that you have value. You matter. Your life can change, and you can make a difference no matter what kind of background you have or where you come from. No matter what trauma you've suffered or mistakes you've made, you can learn and grow. You can become the person you have the potential to be. You just need to believe in yourself to get started. And every time you take a step, think a positive thought, make a good choice, practice a small discipline, You're moving one step closer. just keep moving forward, and keep believing.
Thank you so much. So usefull, powerfull information.
Thoughts are very powerfull. It's known for a very long time already but civilisations or better the society had other 'priorities'.
Here's an awesome experiment from the Japanese scientist Emoto about thoughts (negative or positive) and what influence they have on us. You've probably already seen it but maybe others on this platform don't. Sharing is ... ;)
You have probably already seen the documentarie "what the bleep do we know". otherwise I'd recommend everyone to just try to watch it.
I think it's time we focus on awareness and not on the amount of money on our bankaccount or how many 'victories' we've had.
Thank you so much for writing it down so clearly. I couldn 't have done it better.
Resteemed!
Love LOE
Thank you for this really insightful reminder.
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Amazing and really useful blog @drayhazz Everything what is on it is great guide to success..