I've been writing a book for the last year and I wanted to share chapters of my book here before I publish it. I will post a chapter every Wednesday! If you would like to come along for the journey please follow and comment, I would love your feedback and your thoughts about the book as I share with you :)

INNOCENCE TO ANCIENTS
INTRODUCTION

I’ve wrote this book for the last year and I noticed the first time I got the whole book written out and finished, it wasn’t what really happened. Everything was true, but I made the people I was living with crazier than they actually were. While, I made myself seem a little less crazy than I actually went. I didn’t want my craziness to rub off in the book because I thought people would think I was actually insane. But the thing is, I did go insane. I went Skitzo to the point that I thought I was going to end up in a mental hospital. All of the information that I came to access was a lot for me to handle at that time period. I was rapidly learning or Remembering a lot of information that I didn’t know how to comprehend at the level of consciousness that I was at, at the moment. I think it’s safe to say that I wasn’t ready for all of the information that was presented to me. Obviously it was supposed to happen at the time because it did happen but I don’t believe I was ready for it because I’m just coming back to everything that happened 4 years later and I still don’t know exactly what happened to me. There are many things I have found on the internet to understand what I went through, but even reading the information is nothing like the experience of what I went through. It was traumatizing, scary, and I didn’t think I would ever come back to being myself or know who I was anymore.

The innocent version of me who was all into learning about Law Of Attraction, Dimensions, Beings From Other Planets & Frequencies, had wanted nothing to do with it anymore and it had become a very fearful Universe for her. She would hear people speak about “Love & Light”, Consciousness, Dimensions and think they had no idea what they were really speaking about because she had accessed something that had never been shared in books before. It wasn’t something that human words could explain. It was the blueprint of creation that she witnessed and it was so much deeper than anything she had watched or read about.

The thing is though, I wanted what happened to me to happen to me. I wanted to connect with “people” from other worlds. I wanted to have out of body experiences that took me away from this world. I honestly wanted nothing to do with Earth anymore and I was sick of humans. I was sick of the way we treated the planet, I was sick of how blind everyone was to what was happening on Earth. How the government, higher ups, food corporations, and even spirituality was against us. I wanted people to wake up. I was disgusted with the human consciousness and the fact that I had a part in it. I wanted the veil to be lifted from peoples eyes. I thought the veil had been lifted from my eyes for the longest time until I physically made contact with “people” not from this world. I realized that everything I thought I was unblinded to, it was only the beginning and there was so much more to be seen.

In the stages of me revealing so much more to myself, I dove down the rabbit hole and went very crazy inside my head. There were events I tried to explain to people and I just felt crazier because no one related to what I was going through, so I created multiple beings inside of my head that I could speak to so I felt less coo coo. I talked to myself over and over about what I was going through and I even answered my own questions. I felt like the smartest person in the world, while also feeling like the craziest. “Crazy” is what I coined for the year of 2013 and Crazy is what I became.

Now I know there are voices in our head all of the time and these voices aren’t us but I made each one of these voices in my head have their own personality because I needed someone to talk to about what I was going through. I needed to feel less crazy. In me trying to make myself feel less crazy, I made myself feel more crazy because I didn’t know which voice I was anymore. I didn’t know who I was. I thought I was all of them. And to think about it, I was all of them, but I separated them into different parts of myself so I could talk to them individually and hear each one of their perspectives about what I was going through. I started to understand Schizophrenia in a way I never thought I would. I was having many symptoms that connected to Schizophrenia. Although I didn’t embody these individual personalities from my head and completely become them, I became them in my head and I spoke for them through writing, as you will begin to see through this book. It took me up until now to let go of all of these other “beings” inside of my head and come back to myself. It has been a journey and a process that I still have a little trauma from, and through writing this book it heals me even further.

Now this is just one experience I went through. There were many things that lead up to me creating multiple beings inside of my head about who I was. Many things I don’t know how to explain, and I will explain as much as I can through this and maybe you will begin to get a glimpse of the universal energies that are at play all day long, everyday, always and for eternity.

Before I dive in, I'd like to express how this book will write itself out. You will see stories, memories, thought-stream, me having a conversation with my mind about what actually happened, what I'm actually seeing and the deep other world that some people live everyday, all day long, that I chose to escape. At first I wanted to be there, in that other world. I called it in, and when it appeared to me, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. You will see my words shift from past memories to present day internalization about what I went through. There will be many passages from what I wrote or spoke 4 years ago, inserted into this text from old journal entries, audios and videos. Lots of dialogue will be spread out through this book seeing as I want to give full credit to the people who shared with me. There will be many uncomfortable experiences I went through that I will be sharing for the first time. There will be medicine ceremonies (DMT, Mushrooms, Marijuana, Spirits who need my help) and there will be tons of confusion for me that took place, sometimes things still don’t make sense to me. Most of the characters names in the book have been changed for privacy matters and because I have no contact to some of the people anymore. The Facebook messages are very accurate and are taken straight from my Facebook messages, and are copied word for word.

This is a story about an innocent, naive, curious girl who was all into affirmations, good karma, extra terrestrials, hugging trees and learning about all the unknown things happening in the Universe. As she went on her mission to learn all there was to know, she embarked on some untouched territory that she didn’t know was possible to touch in the Universe. This innocent girl, is me. This is all based on true events, every event shared in this book is true, and has happened, at least in my eyes. Are you ready to jump down the rabbit hole with me?

“The little girl just could not sleep
Because her thoughts were way too deep
Her mind had gone out for a stroll
And fallen down a rabbit hole.”

― Anonymous

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