@Centerlink Background Check No.2 - @Bulleth

There are many different ‘dole bludgers’ out there in Steemit world being supported by @Centerlink. This post is the next in a series of ‘background checks’ on benefit receivers.

Today we will be reviewing some suspicious activities noticed recently by the member @Bulleth.

@Bulleth had an auspicious upbringing. He hails from a long line of Goat Farmers and spent his younger years feasting on a mix of dung beetle, goat crap and grass…. Anything he could find in one of the paddocks on the farm. He now has a ‘gut of steel’ and can consume anything without fear of wrath from the diarrhoea gods.

At a young age, @bulleth purchased his own flock of Angora goats with a view to shearing them and selling their wool to unsuspecting buyers. In his early twenties he expanded, buying a large farm of lush paddocks and sub-tropical forest in Northern NSW and expanded his flock….

We now know that this was just a cover up for a larger operation. Our private investigators became suspicious when he applied for benefits from our department as he owned a very large tract of land and a large flock of goats. So we sent our best PI in to find out what was going on and were shocked with the results.

Under the cover of darkness, @bulleth was running a covert operation. He appeared in his large Barn, light ablaze and machines working overtime. Trucks and other vehicles would come and go all day and night. Living close to Nimbin we suspected that this illegal operation could mean only one thing……. @Bulleth was a ‘hooch’ cultivator.

The police were called in to un-cover the illegal operation and dodging of dole benefits.

What occurred next will amaze even the straightest of goat farmers….

@Bulleth was not growing illegal substances, but was in-fact producing large, rubber products.

We discovered Bulleth was in fact a ‘Dildo Cultivator’. He has been importing rubber from overseas sweat shops for a few cents and is using his machinery to build magnificent dildos that even a mother would be proud of. He is obviously the farmer of love, spreading his knowledge into bedrooms and back alleyways everywhere.

When questioned by us about these products, @Bulleth explained that the products were fully quality controlled and tested by the workers on his farm and were safe for sale. The fact is, there was only one worker on that farm, Bulleth, which might account for his bow-legged stance.

Source

So what about the goats, well it appears that he was using these magnificent animals for photo shoots. Nothing to do with his dildo production, but something to do with another project which hands out ‘upgoats’. Further investigation found these ‘upgoats’ appearing all over posts across the internet. They have also been linked to a mythical Rastafarian Muffin which leads us to believe that these photos are probably being used for no good too.

After hitting a brick wall in this department, we then investigated the ‘income stream’ of the dildo farm!!! Again, this business appears to be running at a loss. We have our suspicions that cash is being paid for these dildos but we cannot prove how Bulleth is smuggling the cash from the farm. Either the farm is bleeding cash or something else is bleeding to enable this cash to be smuggled out.

At the conclusion of our investigations we have found that @Bulleth, although dodgy and apparently slightly perverted, still qualifies for the dole.

Only facts are contained in this background check. We do not want to offend readers, however we feel that the truth needs to be reported, no matter how perverted the truth may be!

We will be watching you @Bulleth and have taken some of your ‘product’ to conduct our own quality assurance testing. We will be burning rubber to get to the bottom of this…..

@Bulleth - another @Centerlink success story