Comedy open mic week 37

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago

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I really think life is sending some guys to me as a punishment of some sort.

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So I started my day on the upside, I had to leave school on Saturday to go see my mom cause she misses me to the moon (everyone in life does once they know me). I have my bath singing "dancing in the mirror" for no one in particular;

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I just think it's a cool song for people to hear you singing in the shower to. I'm dressed in these really dope jeans I bought online (I'm rocking this stuff...ok) sun is shining 7am but I'm on my geeky glasses so I don't really mind. I board a taxi at the hospital's bus park (cause I'm a medical student and we do this stuff).

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I'm sitting there and I can feel this dude staring at me, he sitting right next to me. So I'm like yeah, I'm banging so go ahead. I look back at him, we make some eye-catching eye contact. He's dressed cool, not bad at all.

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Then this nigger opens his mouth. At this moment I'd like to pause the scene so people can understand me. Look I'm a simple girl; when I see a dude who is hot, I'm not asking for a British accent I'm in Nigeria for crying our loud and that's a far cry from possible. But it's not too much to ask for a decent accent. This guy wasn't hot per say, so a decent accent would be ok or if he can't run that then let's speak pidgin English (reffere to #nigeria). Now let's press play on scene.

This dude: hallo (so I'm thinking he is joking and this is a funny way of greetings) I saw you from far away looking scare to enter the tazi are you nu here? 😏

Me: no, I was looking for my money in my wallet.😶

This dude: hope you found the maney cause ecornomy is hard.
(A quetion like this cute when you like the dude, right now it's just dumb cause he's pissing me off)😏

Me: yes (now I'm giving short answers so he goes away)😐

This dude: ok. Where are you heding to?😏😎

Me: home😐

This dude: where is hom?😎

Me: in my house 😑

This dude: you are so funny😁😁
(What's cracking this dude up, he spoilt my day)

Me: 😑😑😑

The the dude asks can I have your number, I'm like 'i'm not safe giving strangers my number’ (🎶 a lie I didn't have to tell #rihanna is dope). He says 'let me give you mine'. I pull out my phone and the nigger goes 'nut ate nut'. I'm done!!!

For this post I nominate @topdollar_001 and @bhoa

Thanks for reading you're awesome

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Hi ericaa,

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Welcome to COM @ericaa, thanks for making us laugh.

I love the ending

'nut ate nut'. I'm done!!!

I swear that's gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Thanks for taking the time to read 😊

dclicked and voted.
Have a lovely day!

thank you :-)

😂😂😂 doesn't he know this is no nut November? How dare him? Was he an ibo guy? Was his name Romannus, Cletus, Livinus or Cletus? Does he work for Fidelity or Diamond Bank?

3 things.
1 Cletus is a white hillbilly name, I had no idea it was West African also. We make fun of poeple by using that name. Like on the Simpsons as seen here with Pechi

Number 2. What is Dclicked ?
3 loved the post. Let me show it some love.

That guy looks like a cletus alright. Around here, its an ethnic joke. "Ibo" people often bear the name and they usually talk with the accent she's going on about.

Pechi looks quite happy

@belemo 🤣🤣🤣🤣

dclicked.

In case you want to do the same.

My latest direct ad link of DClick

I actually thought you wanted to write dick and your finger slipped

I actually
Thought you wanted to write dick
And your finger slipped

                 - belemo


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

wow.
so yours is a haiko.
congrats man.
and you shouldn't think like this.
be positive man.

Posted using Partiko Android

oh..thanks

haha aw man he stole all my top pickup lines! I hope he didn't make "eye contact" with you. It's not cool to touch strangers' eyeballs.

My wife’s reading right next to me, I was doing my best to contain my laughter but I failed, eh, that was funny! Great entry @ericaa.

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