THE FIRST SMOKE

“…he got expelled for smoking weed”

My sister explaining to a 12 year old, me, why our Landlord’s first son had been home more than usual. I knew Cigraettes, every ruffian at our bus stop smoked those, but what was this weed that could get you expelled? i wondered, but wasn't particularly curious.

6–8 years later

Summer holiday was close, my friends and i had left school for a shady beer spot which was frequented by shady people (which i obviously wasn’t), Selense it was called. I had no idea who named it that or why, but it really was a befitting name. It contained the cheap beer parlour essentials: Snooker table, plastic table and chairs, rugged looking bartenders and i kid you not folks, an actual bush.
The thing about this tale is, my friends still do not know this was my first time smoking. I had faced the Disciplinary Comittee in my fresh man year for smoking. I was innocent of course, but everybody assumed. They always do.
Beer Bottles were ordered and my friend Michael (a.k.a the big fat chimney) “organized” igbeaux from one of the bartenders, and not long after, four terribly rolled joints lay before us. I picked up a joint and took a long drag of the igbeaux, moments later two things became clear;

1. Not my eyes lol
2. Nollywood movies lied.

I didn’t have coughing fits as often depicted when newbies try smoking for the first time in those movies; infact i must have looked like a seasoned stoner to my mates, and this rather pleased me. Imagine being seen as a jew man by your friends.

The rest of that night is a vague memory, but i often wonder, what would 12 year old me think of my current relationship with marijuana?

[artwork created by me]