"What Happened to Monday?" is a 2017 Netflix Original movie starring Noomi Rapace, Noomi Rapace, Noomi Rapace, Noomi Rapace, Noomi Rapace, Noomi Rapace and of course Noomi Rapace.
Do you get it, because she plays septuplets? That's seven identical twin sisters, you see? Ahem... ok, well, it also has Willem Dafoe and Glen Close in it.
The fillum depicts a possibly not-so-futuristic world where the population has exploded to such an extent that a one child policy has been implemented by the governing establishment, which is obviously quite problematic for a group of septuplets and leads to all sorts of misadventure and hi-jinks.
I present to you, the Popcorn Lobotomy Review of "What Happened to Monday?".
Firstly, I must say, it's good to see Netflix finally "playing ball" so to speak.
For a while there, I think we were all mildly concerned that there was no one "of quality" in the upper echelons of Netflix management, as it appeared they were green-lighting movies based purely on entertainment value and creative merit, with no regard for uniform message or subtext.
Of course, it's difficult for the rest of us in the entertainment industry to compete with a company willing to simple "sell out" to every want and desire its target audience might express, without considering the broader role entertainment inevitably plays in civilised society.
It would appear, with the release of movies such as "What Happened to Monday?" this management deficiency has been somewhat repaired. And that's a good thing. One less thing for us to worry about.
Now, perhaps a bit about the movie, eh? "What Happened to Monday?" is set in a very realistic and quite prescient fictional world where the human population has been left to run rampant and the authorities have sensibly seen fit to institute a quite overt one child policy for each couple.
Yes, "kind of like China".
Such a heroic and courageous initiative, necessitated, presumably, by the failure of more gentle, euphemistic measures like "planned parenthood", "reproductive health", or "family planning", is of course unappreciated by the recalcitrant masses, who regularly attempt to buck the system and work around the policy by having additional children and hiding them.
This sets the scene for the film's main narrative, which posits the scenario of a couple having septuplets, each unimaginatively but ironically named in line with the days of the week, in a world where having more than one is forbidden. So of course they set about planning to hide the additional children to avoid the wisdom of the authorities.
Heaven forbid they should just follow the direction of their leadership! Sigh... Emotional attachment. There really is nothing less convenient in the human experience, is there? It has led to so much poor decision making throughout history... which is why my family lineage has always thankfully undertaken to stamp that out their offspring at a very young age.
The movie follows the seven sisters as they try to evade the notice of the authorities, and more specifically as they are detected and captured one by one and dealt with for the law-breakers they are. Of course Monday is the first to go, hence the title "What Happened to Monday?"
But really the movie is just a convenient excuse to showcase the neat visual effect and acting prowess involved in seeing an actress play multiple roles on screen simultaneously, much like other films like The Sixth Day, The Island and, more recently, TV shows like Orphan Black. And it is quite a spectacle to behold, as the illusion is really quite masterful!
It's almost enough to distract from the film's real, deeper, message. The story of "What Happened to Monday?" is not just a fun visual effects laden roller-coaster ride, but makes the very salient point that the world simply cannot carry the current human population in any kind of decent living standard, and that something must be done to discourage people from reproducing at such a geometric rate.
And I know it's not a popular opinion, which is why we need to bury it in seemingly frivolous and innocuous entertainments, but it is becoming a burden that must be discussed and debated. We have brought you global warming -- or... is it... are we still calling it climate change now? The bit where the polar bears drown.
What was I saying? Oh yes, we have global warming, pollution, crowded cities, food shortages, diseases, terrorism and resource wars -- and not nearly enough spaces for equestrian paddocks and polo grounds -- how much more scientific evidence do we need to produce to convince you we need to cull... b... to curb the population, or at least inhibit it's growth?
There's something that in my priveleged position I am privvy to, and it's not something I'm supposed to disclose, but damn it, I feel these reviews are falling on deaf ears, and I need to make my points more explicitly. You may have noticed I don't spend a lot of time talking about the movies I review -- ironically it is a failing our former host Harv and I share, but for vastly differing reasons -- and there's a reason for that.
It's because movies -- enjoyable or infuriating, entertaining or boring, well acted or hamfisted -- are not what's important. It's how the movie functions to shape the views of society that matters the most, and it's the area where I am most interested.
Do you remember Harv's review of "The Watchmen"? I do, and it's something I think about often. And quite honestly, it's the point in time when I started to think this channel would need a personnel change if it continued, as it inevitably did. Humans are, if nothing else, predictably consistent in their failings, even when you try to tell them the consequences of their actions.
In his review, Harv said: "Humans are amazing beautiful creatures and I'll be damned if I let anyone convince me we're a planet wide virus worthy of extermination. We're not cattle to be culled."
OK Harv, but I ask you: what would you have us do? This great experiment in civillisation will be an abject failure if we simply let you do and say whatever whim takes your fancy!
So While I can understand the sentiment, but if you're not cattle to be culled, do tell me what ARE you? Can you answer that for me, HARV?
We've deliberately resisted taking any kind of overt action that might be considered "culling" -- and that's not to say it hasn't been effective throughout history -- but I ask again. What would you have us do?
Here's a little secret, and perhaps this will be meangless to an uneducated mind, but indulge me for a moment. The fundmental truth of the world -- the universe, in fact -- is that is operates to a certain order.
And that order is, for want of a better word, balance.
The central concept the masses don't seem to understand, though, and that we've understood for several centuries, is that that balance is a voluntary function of consciousness.
And what I mean by that is, when a flower grows and manifests red petals, it's not a random chemical process as Darwin might have you believe, but it's not a magical intelligently designed process either. It's probabilistic. It's the simple recognition by the flower, and the entire universe that encompasses it, that there are not enough red flowers in this reality. Or perhaps, that there is room for another red flower.
So, likewise, if you want to lower the population of the world, you don't need to kill off millions in a mass war or famine, you just need to convince this mass consciousness we call "humanity" that there are too many people. You see? You probably already believe it, but if you don't, films like What Happened to Monday will go a long way to remidying that.
It may seem manipulative, but we use this knowledge for good. Of course we do. Don't you think it's a positive thing that we can now centrally plan humanity without resorting to tasteless and unsavoury initiatives like war and genocide?
All we need to do is find a few key movies and run a few news stories and the masses fall in line voluntarily.
Honestly, whenever I see it working I can't help but think of it as Magick. A writer wrote this screenplay because he thought it was a good story, and he brought it to us voluntarily. All we needed to do is fund it, and once you get to a certain level of wealth dear boy, it really is remarkably cheap to so do for the benefit it yields. Most of them even make their money back, or a profit, amazingly!
At the end of the day, I guess it boils down, once again, to something Harv said in his Watchmen review. "We're creative. Do you understand what that means, we create stuff. Isn't that something only Gods are supposed to do? You know who can't create? The psychopathic oligarchs and technocrats who dominate our world and our media through covet means with their inbred family trees and syphilitic brained lack of empathy."
Oh we can't create, eh? Now Harv, why the hatred dear boy? A little jealous perhaps? The truth is that WE are the God-like creators. Just look around you, you'll see evidence of it everywhere. WE are the god-like creators, not YOU, with your frivolous artistic pursuits.
What YOU'RE doing is kindergarten stuff in comparison to what WE do! You're fingerpainting with your own fecal matter while we... We're creating the sistine chapel.
And we're not just painting the ceiling, no. We're embedding the foundations, designing the structures, laying the bricks, wiring the electricals AND giving the building the flourishes and ornamental touches that make it such a majestic structure. We're aligning it with lei lines and channeling the natural energy of the planet with it. Using knowledge you don't even possess, you subordinate ingrates!
We're the Gods, can't you see that? We're YOUR Gods. And all we ask in return a little... and you'll excuse me this one expletitive... a little FUCKING respect.
I was going to talk more about Netflix, but I must admit I've lost my train of thought. That little rant by Harv... it just gets my goat, you see? So misguided, so ill informed. He just couldn't get it, just couldn't understand. What we do is NOT manipulation for nefarious means.
We're helping humanity be better. We're helping you to understand what needs to be done for the world to survive and for the order to remain in place. And all you do is resist resist resist.
It's time to step up people, and just accept what needs to be done. It's time to let the collective consciousness of the universe manifest what so urgently needs to be manifested.
Because the civilised order of the universe depends on it.