We are not all going to get along. And that’s fine. We just need to manage it right.
Sometimes, people just don’t like you. Maybe you did something, maybe not. Maybe you remind them of someone that they have a negative history with. It could be anything. But you dislike some people too. It all goes around. I judge you, you judge me, we judge each other. This to me is normal. It’s the dwelling and obsession you have to watch.
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I once caught an adult having a very long and angry rant about a popular teenage Quoran that used to be here. And when I say long, I’m not kidding. It was a list of personal things he hated about her, in such detail, that it was quite obvious that the user had read all her material. Which, dude, really? Why in the world would anyone do that to themselves, let alone to someone else? I can really see no benefit from such a practise.
This is also true at work. Ever had a coworker that drove himself nuts over another coworker, from obsessive hatred? Aware of every minute they came in late, every thing they missed, fixated to always illustrate in which way this worker is incompetent? Chances are, if they would have pointed it out softly, once or twice, it would have had the impact they desired—that people see it too. But fixation makes other people uncomfortable. Soon enough, the tables will turn on the obsessed employee, when people start to avoid them.
Social life is much more interesting when you are not worried about meeting someone you would rather not have. It’s worth learning how to let go when appropriate. Or if you are online, even better—you get to block and walk away. Save all that energy for the people you do get along with.
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